Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Chuck Norris

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Belleville
    Age
    48
    Posts
    1,243

    Chuck Norris

    > Some new facts you may not have known about the baddest man on the
    > planet.
    >
    > Some kids p*** their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can p*** his name
    > into concrete.
    >
    > Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck
    > Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
    >
    > Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
    >
    > Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was
    > replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and
    > save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
    >
    > Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
    >
    > Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
    >
    > Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm
    > escaped and got into the engine.
    > We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
    >
    > If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean
    > Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
    >
    >
    > Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
    >
    > Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating
    > pain, the cobra died.
    >
    > Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the
    > possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    >
    > Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to
    > spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing
    > around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
    >
    > Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck
    > Norris will not take sh** from anyone.
    >
    > Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
    >
    > Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
    >
    > When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many
    > seconds you have left to live.
    >
    > If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken
    > but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
    >
    > Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not
    > grow on steel.
    >
    > Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck
    > Norris
    >
    > If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven"
    > backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
    >
    > Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month.
    > They bleed for a week as a result.
    >
    > Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
    >
    > Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
    >
    > Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than
    > Death can process them.
    >
    > Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states
    > in order to legally wear pants.
    >
    > Chuck Norris is the only person on the
    > planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
    >
    > Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
    >
    > Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never
    > f**s up.
    >
    > A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the
    > park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly
    > killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find
    > bigger, better nuts than that.
    >
    > Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw
    > Brett Favre even further.
    >
    > Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
    >
    > Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
    >
    > Chuck Norris keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. Nobody ever
    > asks him for his ID.
    >
    > Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
    >
    > Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And
    > then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Chuck Norris is.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    20,574
    Hey CBT .... Chuck Norris is back !!!
    Bluerauder
    '03 MM 300B
    #67 of 328
    Dark Blue Pearl with Light Flint interior(1 of 215)




    Black Pearl "Aarrrrr Type"
    '12 Taurus SHO 3.5 L Ecoboost V6 24V DOHC DI Twin Turbo
    (365 HP, 350 TQ)
    #318 of 478
    Tuxedo Black Metallic with Charcoal Black Leather interior (1 of 415)

    Member Capital Area Marauders (CAM)
    since April '04


    Bluerauder's Garage -- Pics and Other Info

    Sixteen (16) years of CAM Meets, Regional, and Marauderville MM Event History & Upcoming (in RED) Events is Here

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Eagle Pass, TX
    Age
    49
    Posts
    76

    Funny!

    This stuff is halarious! I laughed myself to tears.
    Without Change, There can be no Victory.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    CT
    Age
    52
    Posts
    1,460
    I think I've seen it all before, but my eyes catch the reference to Chuck's ability to "slam revolving doors" and lost it for some reason!

    JWM
    ______________________________
    2003 300a

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Las Vegas Nevada
    Posts
    674
    I dont know what to say, but thanks for the laughs!
    Dave

    300a
    production date 06-05-02
    686 of 7838
    Trilogy Supercharged #159
    NV "MARAUDR"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Olympia WA
    Age
    42
    Posts
    1,034
    You forgot one thing...... Chuck Norris drives a Marauder!



    Good Post...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Smithfield, Virginia
    Age
    53
    Posts
    19,088
    Quote Originally Posted by Bluerauder View Post
    Hey CBT .... Chuck Norris is back !!!
    He was never gone, just stalking...


    ~But, it makes it a lot easier when he is manscaped.~ Haggis
    ~Cool, I can have one of those strangulation orgasms without the strangle.
    WIN WIN!~ Zack
    ~Who needs to stop? I just wanna gooooooooooo ~ -Matt-

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Las Vegas Nevada
    Posts
    674
    After a night of drinking, chuck norris dosent throw up, he throws DOWN!
    Dave

    300a
    production date 06-05-02
    686 of 7838
    Trilogy Supercharged #159
    NV "MARAUDR"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Smithfield, Virginia
    Age
    53
    Posts
    19,088
    Chuck Norris *****s light sabers.
    Chuck Norris' belly button is an electrical outlet.


    ~But, it makes it a lot easier when he is manscaped.~ Haggis
    ~Cool, I can have one of those strangulation orgasms without the strangle.
    WIN WIN!~ Zack
    ~Who needs to stop? I just wanna gooooooooooo ~ -Matt-

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. A little "Best Of" Chuck Norris for ya...
    By TAF in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-23-2006, 05:58 AM
  2. Chuck Norris
    By CBT in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 310
    Last Post: 07-04-2006, 07:57 PM
  3. Hay Chuck Norris
    By hdirish50 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-27-2006, 07:48 PM
  4. It's Chuck Norris' Birthday
    By dwasson in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-11-2006, 07:08 PM
  5. Chuck Woodington?
    By wchain in forum Innovative Interceptors
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-05-2005, 07:28 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •