N40GL
08-17-2004, 12:39 PM
TERESA DEFENDS ‘BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS’ REMARK
Says Girl Scout ‘Was Asking For It’
[BorowitzReport 8-10-2004] Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, refused to apologize today for telling a Girl Scout in Iowa yesterday to “blow it out your ass.”
Even though Ms. Kerry’s remark appeared to be unprecedented in the annals of national politics, especially for a campaign rally attended by Girl Scouts, Mrs. Kerry defended her comment today, telling reporters, “That little ***** was asking for it.”
Mrs. Kerry stopped short of divulging exactly what the Girl Scout had done to incur her wrath, but sources who attended the rally said that the nine-year-old had attempted unsuccessfully to sell her a box of Girl Scout cookies just prior to Mrs. Kerry’s outburst.
“Oh, so you want my money?” Mrs. Kerry hissed at the Scout before gesturing towards her husband. “Well, get in line behind this guy, sister.”
Moments after her “blow it out your ass” remark, Sen. Kerry reportedly yanked a power cord out of the wall, silencing Mrs. Kerry’s microphone and plunging the rally into darkness.
It has been a tough few days for the Kerry campaign, which has been shadowed since Monday by a Predator drone dispatched by the Department of Homeland Security.
Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge denied that the Predator was deployed for political purposes, telling reporters, “At the Department of Homeland Security we don’t do politics, unlike that prick John Kerry.”
Elsewhere, a top planner of the Republican national convention said that the Republicans were unlikely to experience the balloon-drop woes suffered by the Democrats, telling a reporter, “Republicans are better at dropping things on people.”
Says Girl Scout ‘Was Asking For It’
[BorowitzReport 8-10-2004] Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, refused to apologize today for telling a Girl Scout in Iowa yesterday to “blow it out your ass.”
Even though Ms. Kerry’s remark appeared to be unprecedented in the annals of national politics, especially for a campaign rally attended by Girl Scouts, Mrs. Kerry defended her comment today, telling reporters, “That little ***** was asking for it.”
Mrs. Kerry stopped short of divulging exactly what the Girl Scout had done to incur her wrath, but sources who attended the rally said that the nine-year-old had attempted unsuccessfully to sell her a box of Girl Scout cookies just prior to Mrs. Kerry’s outburst.
“Oh, so you want my money?” Mrs. Kerry hissed at the Scout before gesturing towards her husband. “Well, get in line behind this guy, sister.”
Moments after her “blow it out your ass” remark, Sen. Kerry reportedly yanked a power cord out of the wall, silencing Mrs. Kerry’s microphone and plunging the rally into darkness.
It has been a tough few days for the Kerry campaign, which has been shadowed since Monday by a Predator drone dispatched by the Department of Homeland Security.
Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge denied that the Predator was deployed for political purposes, telling reporters, “At the Department of Homeland Security we don’t do politics, unlike that prick John Kerry.”
Elsewhere, a top planner of the Republican national convention said that the Republicans were unlikely to experience the balloon-drop woes suffered by the Democrats, telling a reporter, “Republicans are better at dropping things on people.”