TheDealer
08-31-2004, 05:49 PM
Sam and Edith were 85 years old, and had been
married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to
get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were
both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on
healthy
foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort was waiting to show
them
inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine
silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.
And th eir favorite clothes hanging in the closet. They gasped in
astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
Sam asked how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," their companion replied, "remember, this is your reward
in Heaven."
Sam looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf
course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," the companion replied. "You can play for free,
everyday."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with
every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks
to
exotic desserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even ask," said their
companion to Sam. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at
Edith. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholestero l foods, and the
decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
That's the best part," the companion replied. "You can eat and drink as
much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick.
This is Heaven!"
Sam pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless you want to," was
the
answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." "Never again. All
you do here is enjoy yourself."
Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your $%&^#* bran muffins. We
could have been here 15 years ago!"
married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to
get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were
both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on
healthy
foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation
and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort was waiting to show
them
inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine
silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.
And th eir favorite clothes hanging in the closet. They gasped in
astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
Sam asked how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," their companion replied, "remember, this is your reward
in Heaven."
Sam looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf
course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," the companion replied. "You can play for free,
everyday."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with
every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks
to
exotic desserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even ask," said their
companion to Sam. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at
Edith. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholestero l foods, and the
decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
That's the best part," the companion replied. "You can eat and drink as
much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick.
This is Heaven!"
Sam pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless you want to," was
the
answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." "Never again. All
you do here is enjoy yourself."
Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your $%&^#* bran muffins. We
could have been here 15 years ago!"