dwasson
01-01-2005, 11:43 AM
Detroit, Michigan, USA – IN a surprise statement to a shocked America, General Motors (GM) revealed that the popular SUV known only as the H2 made by GM subsidiary Hummer (previously of AMC) was in fact an elaborate joke on an unsuspecting public.
“It was all just a bit of fun really,” said GM Vice-Chairman Robert Lotz, “I mean look at it,” he continued laughing, “it’s hilarious, it looks like an oversized toy.”
More details continue to emerge hourly but it is now apparent that the H2 was intended as a private joke between engineers. The plans were accidentally found by management and considered genuine. A middle management director, whose name has been withheld, gathered up the plans with the intent to re-file them. However the director did not immediately get around to it. He found the plans in his briefcase when conducting a market research exercise and, on a whim, decided to pass the plans around. The result was very positive. The H2 scored well in several subsequent focus groups.
At this point upper management approved the plans and instructed the engineering department to continue their modeling of project H2. The engineers, a timid lot by nature, were too meek to point out that the H2 was a joke. Used to bizarre requests by management they diligently designed the humorously ungainly automobile.
Nearing its completion phase several pre-production models were forwarded to marketing who proceeded to have a field day driving the H2 over things to the tune of heavy rock music. “I mean the thing pretty much sold itself, we just had to show it to people,” commented Guy Phillipe of marketing before asking that his comments not be printed.
After the H2s' launch the original prankster engineers attempted to alert management of the joke. However sales figures were so strong that management thought that news of the H2 being a joke was itself a joke.
It is unsure what exactly changed the collective mind of management, although slipping sales figures may be one reason. Regardless GM has begun recalling all Hummer H2s for destruction. It is believed that the Automobile Museum of Kansas City has secured one H2 for an exhibit of what is already being billed as the worlds first mass produced joke.
According to a GM media release owners of H2s are advised to bring their cars into any GM Service center or alternatively just drive them off a cliff or into a lake or river, “provided it is deep enough to properly hide this ungainly creature.” No rebates will be given for the returned SUVs which sold for 70 000 USD when new. “That would be like rewarding stupidity,” exclaimed GM CEO Richard Wagoneer.
“It was all just a bit of fun really,” said GM Vice-Chairman Robert Lotz, “I mean look at it,” he continued laughing, “it’s hilarious, it looks like an oversized toy.”
More details continue to emerge hourly but it is now apparent that the H2 was intended as a private joke between engineers. The plans were accidentally found by management and considered genuine. A middle management director, whose name has been withheld, gathered up the plans with the intent to re-file them. However the director did not immediately get around to it. He found the plans in his briefcase when conducting a market research exercise and, on a whim, decided to pass the plans around. The result was very positive. The H2 scored well in several subsequent focus groups.
At this point upper management approved the plans and instructed the engineering department to continue their modeling of project H2. The engineers, a timid lot by nature, were too meek to point out that the H2 was a joke. Used to bizarre requests by management they diligently designed the humorously ungainly automobile.
Nearing its completion phase several pre-production models were forwarded to marketing who proceeded to have a field day driving the H2 over things to the tune of heavy rock music. “I mean the thing pretty much sold itself, we just had to show it to people,” commented Guy Phillipe of marketing before asking that his comments not be printed.
After the H2s' launch the original prankster engineers attempted to alert management of the joke. However sales figures were so strong that management thought that news of the H2 being a joke was itself a joke.
It is unsure what exactly changed the collective mind of management, although slipping sales figures may be one reason. Regardless GM has begun recalling all Hummer H2s for destruction. It is believed that the Automobile Museum of Kansas City has secured one H2 for an exhibit of what is already being billed as the worlds first mass produced joke.
According to a GM media release owners of H2s are advised to bring their cars into any GM Service center or alternatively just drive them off a cliff or into a lake or river, “provided it is deep enough to properly hide this ungainly creature.” No rebates will be given for the returned SUVs which sold for 70 000 USD when new. “That would be like rewarding stupidity,” exclaimed GM CEO Richard Wagoneer.