Mike Poore
03-25-2005, 05:49 PM
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand
the rules when
dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit
guide will help you to
understand just how it works. Remember, in the
world of romance, one
single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do
something she likes, and
you get points. Do something she dislikes, and
points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's
the way the game is played.
Here is the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
pillows.....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is
empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to
Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next
bathroom.... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with
wings.....+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is
nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is
something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side for the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
with a college
drinking
buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports
bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted
the
colors of your favorite team ...-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that crush human
skulls.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about
orphans.....-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly &exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to
loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one
too.".....-800
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You
hesitate in
responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
Any other response.....-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar
experience.....+50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear
her saying, "Well,
what
do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200
IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE
the rules when
dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit
guide will help you to
understand just how it works. Remember, in the
world of romance, one
single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do
something she likes, and
you get points. Do something she dislikes, and
points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's
the way the game is played.
Here is the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
pillows.....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is
empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to
Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next
bathroom.... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with
wings.....+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is
nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is
something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side for the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
with a college
drinking
buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports
bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted
the
colors of your favorite team ...-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that crush human
skulls.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about
orphans.....-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly &exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to
loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one
too.".....-800
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You
hesitate in
responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
Any other response.....-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar
experience.....+50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear
her saying, "Well,
what
do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200
IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE