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dwasson
04-18-2005, 07:40 PM
Dear Dogbert,

I am losing the meaning of my life. I don't feel like waking up in the morning. The only thing that gets me going is the fact that I have a cool car, but that's nothing to be proud of. Is there anything I can do to get me up and going again?

Sincerely

Manny


Dear Fanny,

Sometimes when your car isn't cool enough to fill the gaping whole in your soul, you need to trick it out. I recommend hubcaps that keep spinning after the car has stopped. Chicks love those.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

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Dear Dogbert,

I am competing for a promotion with a woman of ill repute. She will probably get the position because she is better than me, and she is a woman of ill repute. Is it unethical to try to work the ill repute thing to my advantage?

Kevin


Dear Craven,

I recommend telling her that your boss relies on you to recommend who gets promoted. At that point, the ill repute thing will definitely work to your advantage.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

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And my favorite...

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Dear Dogbert,

I have been assigned to a committee. The leader of the committee doesn't lead, so no one follows. There will be no consequences if I am kicked off the committee. How can I maximize my enjoyment and get myself expelled at the same time?

Dennis


Dear Dense,

At the start of every meeting, make a motion that your committee be designated a Tiger Team. Failing in that, continue to suggest other creatures, in descending order of ferociousness, until you get to Vole Team.

Sincerely,

Dogbert