dwasson
06-13-2005, 07:28 PM
Kim Jong Il, maniacal president of North Korea and devoted movie buff, has finally agreed to give up his lust for long-range nuclear missiles in exchange for one night of forbidden passion with Hollywood bombshell Angelina Jolie.
The swanky Axis of Evil party boy issued a statement saying he likes "bad girls" and inviting Jolie to come and personally inspect his "weapon of mass destruction."
A source close to Jolie's luscious, pouty lips said the actress/international activist is "intrigued" by the opportunity to defuse the volatile North Korean whackjob. Hollywood insiders say she'd love to put a Nobel Peace Prize next to the Oscar she won for "Girl Interrupted" in 1999.
To sweeten the deal for Jolie, United Nations goodwill ambassador and mother of an adopted Cambodian boy, Jong Il said she can take her pick of cuddly impoverished North Korean infants.
"Hey, I'm no Brad Pitt. But I know how to party," said Jong Il. "And if Mr. Pitt wants a piece of me, my bodyguards will go 'Fight Club' upside his pretty face."
Meanwhile, the international paparazzi is on a state of high alert, with tabloids reportedly willing to pay up to $10.3 million for a photograph of the dictator "canoodling" with the movie queen.
A spokesman said that if the Jolie negotiations fall through Jong Il might be willing to bang Paris Hilton in exchange for relinquishing a rusty Soviet machine gun.
The swanky Axis of Evil party boy issued a statement saying he likes "bad girls" and inviting Jolie to come and personally inspect his "weapon of mass destruction."
A source close to Jolie's luscious, pouty lips said the actress/international activist is "intrigued" by the opportunity to defuse the volatile North Korean whackjob. Hollywood insiders say she'd love to put a Nobel Peace Prize next to the Oscar she won for "Girl Interrupted" in 1999.
To sweeten the deal for Jolie, United Nations goodwill ambassador and mother of an adopted Cambodian boy, Jong Il said she can take her pick of cuddly impoverished North Korean infants.
"Hey, I'm no Brad Pitt. But I know how to party," said Jong Il. "And if Mr. Pitt wants a piece of me, my bodyguards will go 'Fight Club' upside his pretty face."
Meanwhile, the international paparazzi is on a state of high alert, with tabloids reportedly willing to pay up to $10.3 million for a photograph of the dictator "canoodling" with the movie queen.
A spokesman said that if the Jolie negotiations fall through Jong Il might be willing to bang Paris Hilton in exchange for relinquishing a rusty Soviet machine gun.