dwasson
06-27-2005, 08:38 PM
TORONTO (DPI) - The NHL announced today that it will permanently adopt a new business model in which the league will not play any actual hockey games in the future. "When we saw that we lost less money by not playing any games than we did playing a full season, the new not-playing model just made sense," said Commissioner Gary Bettman. "By not paying any of the expenses associated with putting on a game, we can concentrate on our strengths, like selling old Hartford Whalers jerseys and showcasing Gordie Howe's cryogenically preserved body around the country." The latter strength Bettman mentioned came as a surprise to Howe, who, technically, is neither dead nor cryogenically preserved. On the heels of this announcement, several U.S. airlines are looking into whether to follow the NHL's lead and convert to non-flying operations.