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Tallboy
08-07-2005, 12:31 PM
A few close friends are aware of this, and to them I apologize for recanting my tale. For the collective, I share this with you in the hopes it will make me feel better talking about it, and to open the blinds on one window of my life.

A week ago today, at 9:09 AM, my phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize, and figured it was a Trilogy install question. I smiled as I answered and said "Hello?". On the other end was a deep male voice, crying his eyes out. I knew in a second it was my cousin Brian. After about 15 seconds of this, he blurted out "Uncle Bill and Mike Adanti were killed in a car crash last night in Italy". http://fox61.trb.com/news/local/hc-ap-adanti-killed-0731,0,2108605.story?coll=hc-headlines-local They had been there on Vacation for two weeks, and were headed to the airport for thier flight home.

My voice cracking, I tried to get as much information as I could. This was bad. Real bad. I finished my abbreviated conversation with my cousin [who I grew up with] and hung up the phone. My exceptionally beautiful wife, Jennifer, bore silent witness to the whole conversation. I knew what was next, but just couldn't do it. I had to tell my Dad. With hands that were shaking too badly to dial a phone, I handed it to Jennifer and said, "Call my Dad, and tell him I'm coming over". [He lives 1 mile away.] She did, and I grabbed a cold beer and drove over there. I was crying like a baby and scared to death. This was my Godfather, and he meant the world to me.

Walking into his house, I came up the stairs and said "Sit down". My Dad started at me. I re-iterated my command. He continued to stare. I said "Dad, this is really bad, sit down. Upon hearing the news he was inconsolable for 5 minutes. [Besided my uncle dying, Mike Adanti was a close freind of the family.] My Mom, upon hearing her husband of 39 years "lose it", came rushing out of the bedroom. Mom got the same command and news. You can imagine the rest. I spent the rest of my day on the phone with family/freinds, and every few minutes would shut the door to my office and escape to cyberspace, and read every thread I could find here, and reply if I could think of something intelligible to say, just to feel something else-even if it was nothing at all. Thanks, all of you, for being there.

I saw my Uncle Bill when I was in Connecticut in March. The last words we spoke were "I love you, Uncle Bill" and "I love you, too, Charlie." [ my immediate family refers to me as Charles, Charile, etc.] Then, as I was walking out the door of his law office on Wakelee Avenue, he shouted out "Call me in advance next time you're in town, we'll go out to lunch!" I replied "you got it!", and closed the door. That was the last time I ever saw him.

So, first thing tomorrow, it's off to Connecticut for a wake on Tuesday and a burial on Wednesday. Just me and my Dad. This will not be pretty. I will, however, afford myself some "me" time, and get together will my friend Billy. We'll hang out at Dunkin Donuts for a few hours and shoot the breeze, and this will help keep me sane.

So, the next time you see an old friend/relative who means a lot to you, tell 'em they mean a lot to you, ok? You just may not have another chance.

Thanks for listening.

Smokie
08-07-2005, 12:45 PM
My prayers are with you and your family on this painful moment. God Bless.

Bluerauder
08-07-2005, 12:57 PM
AFor the collective, I share this with you in the hopes it will make me feel better talking about it, and to open the blinds on one window of my life. After about 15 seconds of this, he blurted out "Uncle Bill and Mike Adanti were killed in a car crash last night in Italy".
Very sad news. My condolences to you, your father and to your entire family during this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers will be with you !! Here's hoping for a full recovery for the wives that were also injured in the accident.

oldekid
08-07-2005, 01:21 PM
Sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Our thoughts are with you and your family. Thanks for reminding us that life is most fragile. Take care Tallboy.

grampaws
08-07-2005, 01:35 PM
Our prayers and thoughts are with you...

I lost two uncles before they reached 50..
The Me time is important to refocus...

STLR FN
08-07-2005, 02:31 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

sailsmen
08-07-2005, 02:57 PM
My thoughts are with you.

You will feel better as time passes.

The memory of losing my younger brother 22 years ago are as vivid as today!

HwyCruiser
08-07-2005, 03:33 PM
Very touching, thank you for sharing. I'm glad you could find a momentary escape here. Your family will draw together and gain strength to deal with this tragedy. My thoughts are with you and your family also.

RoyLPita
08-07-2005, 03:48 PM
I'm very sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers.

Bradley G
08-07-2005, 03:50 PM
Chuck,

The daily struggles seem light hearted in comparison, to your sorrow.
I know you will have a special place in your heart for your Family and friend.
Thanks for the grounding! I needed it!
Now, do as they, would have liked.

jgc61sr2002
08-07-2005, 04:15 PM
Sorry about your loss. Condolences to you and your family.

Rider90
08-07-2005, 04:16 PM
I am sorry for your family's loss and the grief it has brought to all you love.

fastblackmerc
08-07-2005, 04:24 PM
I am sorry for your family's loss and the grief it has brought to all you love.
I'm truly sorry for your family's loss.

SergntMac
08-07-2005, 04:31 PM
I wish I had something I could add here, something to say to you that would help you, guide you, and comfort you through this misery.

I do not. Just like any ordinary funeral we all face, I'm #50 in a line of 250, who all say the same things. Yes, it hurts. It hurts you, and leaves us helpless in comforting you. Yes, there are others in your family who will be devasted more than you, and I expect that you will move hard and fast to comfort them before you comfort yourself. And, there are those who will be less affected too. Please show them likewise kindness, just because they are less affected than you, doesn't mean they don't care any less.

All I can say now, is thank you. Thank you for pouring out your heart to us, and asking us to be involved in your reconciliation. The pain of final death haunts us all, sudden and unexpected death hurts more. You are brave to handle it the way you have, and more brave to share it here with us.

Sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing it.

DEFYANT
08-07-2005, 05:07 PM
I'll echo Mac. There isn't anything I can say that has not been said before except, maybe we really do not die, perhaps death is just the next step in our evolution.

I hope one of my witless remarks on one of those other threads made you chuckle.

Hang in there.

TooManyFords
08-07-2005, 05:47 PM
This has to be one of the only things that make the glass seem "half empty" for me, and I'm very sure, for you. It makes you look outside the glass to find something to put in its place. Some find it at church, others their bowling league and yet others online.

Think of us as your "half full" online friends.

John

BillyGman
08-07-2005, 06:22 PM
Chuck, this is one of the things about this life that just plain stinks. I hate it as I'm sure that you do right now. To a certain extent I can relate, and I was sorry, and still am sorry to hear of your loss. I'll be seeing you on Tuesday, and you can always call me in the meantime if you need to talk. I've found that in times like these, you just have to let the emotions all come out sooner or later. They're in there, and they need to come out. I also know that whenever we hear about something like this happening to someone else's family, we just cannot fully relate, although the news is tragic. But when it hits home like this we're devastated. Like I said, I hate this. Hang in there pal, and you know where I'm at. See ya soon.......

GordonB
08-07-2005, 06:30 PM
Charlie/Tallboy,
I feel your pain and loss. Pls know that all of us and thinking about you and your family.
I cannot begin to explain why some are taken from us and others are not. I try to make the most of this time on earth. Have just spent this weekend with my daughter and son-in-law in Northville, MI and there is NOTHING better than family and friends.
God bless you and yours.
GordonB

the_pack_rat
08-07-2005, 07:40 PM
Sorry for your loss Chuck, my thoughts are with you.

wsmylie
08-07-2005, 08:10 PM
I'm so,so sorry to hear of your terrible loss Chuck. My heart felt condolences to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Bill

NAVCHAP
08-07-2005, 08:29 PM
Please accept my deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences. Be assured fo my prayers for you and yours. Next time passing through Florida will give you my condolences in person. Very Respectfully, -kjs-

MikesMerc
08-07-2005, 08:30 PM
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I read this thread earlier in the day. On the way home from being at a local cruise, I stopped in to visit my mom and dad for a while. I had this thread in my head when I decided to detour a bit to come by their house. My parents are getting "up there" in age and are not in the best of health. It was good to see them.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It made a difference to me. I hope it did some good for you as well. God bless.

MI2QWK4U
08-07-2005, 08:43 PM
Chuck, Thanks for sharing that with us, we do care.

bigslim
08-07-2005, 08:59 PM
My condolences to you and your family.

David Morton
08-07-2005, 09:06 PM
Hope everything turns out OK for you and your dad. You have done well to be so strong and especially to have shared your experience of how you didn't fail to let those you loved know it.

You'll be fine, my friend. Carry on.

Tallboy
08-12-2005, 09:17 AM
Thanks, all of you, for the kind words.

I have returned from what has been a grueling week. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. If you dropped a bowling ball on my foot right now, I don't think I have a tear left in me to cry. But, a few days of re-hab, and I'll be on a plane to Detroit to expirience the other end of life's emotional roller-coaster.:)

Billy-it was good to see you again, old buddy. The few hours we hung out recharged my batteries just enough to get me through.:up:

BillyGman
08-12-2005, 09:26 AM
Billy-it was good to see you again, old buddy. The few hours we hung out recharged my batteries just enough to get me through.:up:I was hoping that it would do just that for ya Chuck. It's always good to see you again pal. I'm glad that you were able to hang out for a little while despite the circumstances. As tough as it might be, just try to look ahead my friend.