dwasson
11-01-2005, 11:34 AM
FDA New Stratified "Black Box" Warnings Include "Works, But May Kill You," "Sucks and Will Kill You"
WASHINGTON (DPI) - In response to recent high-profile drug trials, the Food and Drug Administration will issue different levels of their controversial "Black Box" warnings for pharmaceutical offerings with high instances of dangerous and/or life-threatening side effects. Beginning the first of the year, high-risk drugs will carry one of more of the following warnings:
WARNING: This product works, but it may kill you. It is the most effective drug for your condition, so you can have a long miserable life of suffering without it, or a short, happy life ending in quick and violent death with it -- your call, chief!
WARNING: This product works a lot of the time, but it has a really good chance of messing you up for life. It is the ONLY effective medicine available for your condition, so you can die painfully without it, or run the risk of dying looking like an S&M party pinata with it.
WARNING: This product sucks and will kill you, but too many patients ask for it because of those ads with the pretty thirtysomething blonde **** running through a field of tall green grass to her picnic with butterfiles and chipmunks and multi-ethnic group of similarly attractive friends for us to pull it off the market.
WARNING: The FDA inspector general holds an uncomfortably large amount of stock in this product's manufacturer.
WASHINGTON (DPI) - In response to recent high-profile drug trials, the Food and Drug Administration will issue different levels of their controversial "Black Box" warnings for pharmaceutical offerings with high instances of dangerous and/or life-threatening side effects. Beginning the first of the year, high-risk drugs will carry one of more of the following warnings:
WARNING: This product works, but it may kill you. It is the most effective drug for your condition, so you can have a long miserable life of suffering without it, or a short, happy life ending in quick and violent death with it -- your call, chief!
WARNING: This product works a lot of the time, but it has a really good chance of messing you up for life. It is the ONLY effective medicine available for your condition, so you can die painfully without it, or run the risk of dying looking like an S&M party pinata with it.
WARNING: This product sucks and will kill you, but too many patients ask for it because of those ads with the pretty thirtysomething blonde **** running through a field of tall green grass to her picnic with butterfiles and chipmunks and multi-ethnic group of similarly attractive friends for us to pull it off the market.
WARNING: The FDA inspector general holds an uncomfortably large amount of stock in this product's manufacturer.