Wild things your kids say

[CRUZTAKER]

It's winter...those of us up north are stuck indoors for a loooong time.

This might be fun.

Post some of the wild azz things your young kids have said.
Let's keep it to quotes from YOUR kids FIVE and under.

I'll start. Just a moment ago, waking from a nap, and trying to pee, but having trouble getting it started....

"...I need new batteries for my weiner..."

:lol:

[BruteForce]

"...I need new batteries for my weiner..."

Tell Junior about the new Tazer option.

[CRUZTAKER]

Tell Junior about the new Tazer option.

OK..so they're comining too fast to post...

Then he says...

"I'm peeing like hurricane Katrina!"

Who teaches him this shat?

[RR|Suki]

OK..so they're comining too fast to post...

Then he says...

"I'm peeing like hurricane Katrina!"

Who teaches him this shat?

Oh my... :eek:

[mtnh]

Barry, is it possible that he has spotted a battery-operated w...r in his explorations? :pimp: :)

[grampaws]

NO son thats a shock resistant
rubber coated flashlight and the
bulbs burnt out..:rolleyes:

[grampaws]

Sister's little one...
"Mommy are you going potty?? Thats a good girl!!"

[CBT]

When my 12 year old daughter was four we went to a museum and they were giving a little lecture on snakes, turtles, birds, etc. etc. Anyway, they started with turtles and this guy had a live one crawling around at his feet and his assistant was letting the kids hold one that had been to the taxidermist. My daughter put it down, pushed it with her foot a couple times then picked it up and ran up on stage and told the guy it needed new batteries. We were crying laughing, the poor guy even kept busting out laughing the rest of the demonstration. My little girl was oblivious. If I'd had it on film it would have made Funniest Home Videos for sure.

[seabreeze]

When my little girl was 1-1/2 and just putting sentences together, one day I'm sitting on the couch flipping channels and I notice her sitting on the floor in front of the couch looking up at me with a strange expression on her face. "Honey, what are you doing?" I ask.

Gazing intently at my face from her position on the floor, she observered, "Daddy hab fur in he nose!".

Sharper Image, here I come for some of those nose hair trimmers!

[wchain]

"If I ask Gammy, will you take me to Moronville 3?"

[2003 MIB]

This exchange happened after our 5yo had a bad week- He poked a kid in the temple with a pencil on Monday and peed on the playground on Thursday. :shake:

Chase: "Mommy, do you know why I get in trouble now?"
Coli: "No, why?"
Chase: "Because I've never been to school before."

After a holiday:

Chase: "Today we learned about Christopher Bolumbus"
Me: "Yes, Bolumbus was very famous. What did he do?"
Chase: "He died."

After I broke his mother's treadmill:

Chase: "Is it broken?"
Me: "I'm afraid so."
Chase: "It never breaks with Mommy- It's because you're too great big like a rhino."

[CRUZTAKER]

Looking at himself in the mirror this morning he says to me:

"At night when I go to sleep...my hair plays football...and baseball...and dodgeball......:

:baaa:

[TripleTransAm]

Victor: "Momma, have some Chocolate, it's GOOD"
Malin: "no thank you"
Victor: "Come on, Momma, it's GOOD!"
Malin: "okay, then"
Victor: "That's my girl..."

(as sent to me at work from my wife's private email account, it apparently happened this afternoon at home)

[cyclone03]

I know it's supposed to be 5 and under,but....

Last year,in July,I just came in from a morning run and my 11yo looks and me and says "Daddy you look hot,and I don't meen cool" that stung.I was cool all the way to 41,then, bam! gone!

[spiders]

My favorite quote was when I asked my son if he knew why we had to throw his fish back after he had worked so had to reel it in (it was a BIG Stripped Bass/Rock Fish). He looked me right in the eye and told me "of course, dummy, it's a dangerous es=pieces"
When my daughter was about 5 she was showing her Grandmother her new pony in the barn. When Grandma stepped in manure she muttered "oh spit". Shannon immediately corrected her with
"No, it's equine feces, Grandma, and spit isn't alowed in the barn so don't let Mom see you!"