Monster In-Laws

[MAD-3R]

How about a thread about stories of the "The Parents."

I'll Start.

My father In-Law is a man that I respect very much, and hold in high reguard. He is also one of the scariest men you would ever meet. :) He's not big and imposing, but just one intense look from him will put the fear of god into most men. As a blacksmith and farrier, he wields a 10lb sledge for hours at a time, holding the steel in tongs with the other hand.

Well, being a bit of a traditionalist, I felt it important to ask him for permision to marry his daughter. His YOUNGEST daughter. His little Girl.

We were at a hotel attending a Convention. I located him with the help of his wife after the wedding service of some other friends. We procced into the bar in the hoteI where he ordered a water (he was working security, so was "on duty") and I declined, as I was a bit nervouse. I was respectful, polite, and after a few scrutinizing looks, scared poopless.

Lot's of "Yes sirs" later he grunted "Ok."

I concider it one of my bravest moments. :)

[CBT]

A week after I got married, my wife and I decided to drive from Florida up to Chicago and visit her family. Halfway there she blurts out "I HAVEN'T TOLD MY PARENTS YET, YOU CAN'T WEAR YOUR RING WHEN WE GET THERE." Well, she told her mom as soon as we got there, her dad found out right before dinner. He carved a complete turkey without ever taking his eyes off of me or blinking. I kept thinking I was next under that knife. That was 12 years ago, we get along fantasticaly now.

[TripleTransAm]

I've got two sides of the coin to share...

There was this girl (um, let me rephrase that: psychopathic little neurotic emotionally-underdeveloped witch) I was dating for a long time before I met my wife. It was my longest relationship until then, and looked like that was it for me. We were emotionally very attached, but she suffered from tremendous insecurities and emotional immaturity that I eventually figured must have been due to her family environment. And what an environment that was...

Her parents were VERY cheap, to begin with. No doubt the bank account was brimming with hundreds of thousands of dollars, yet they did nothing but occasionally spend a little money on a trip 'back to the homeland'. Her dad showed about as much emotion as a dead fish to his family and those around him, but rather than make him ominous and commanding respect, it made him seem more of a weenie than anything. The only emotion you could get out of the guy was when you sat and listened to him describe the multitude of stocks and options he was getting as a supervisor in the mail room of the bank he worked in. The kind of guy you'd expect to weasel his way through life and probably screw you out of stuff without you realizing it. Both him and his wife considered themselves prominent members of the local cultural community (Portuguese) but in reality no one really trusted them and really just played the game to avoid getting screwed through badmouthing, etc. The mind games they played on their kids most likely contributed to their twisted outlook on life... my girlfriend and her younger brother seemed destined to lead themselves straight to failure in life... but their youngest sister seemed to learn early on how to manipulate the parents into getting her way, no doubt she's grown up more in control of her life than her siblings, but she'll no doubt be inflicting the family curse on her own unfortunate children.

So because I cared very deeply for my girlfriend, I endured the subtle annoying jabs at my background. The jabs... tough to describe since most of you aren't familiar with the Portuguese culture, but imagine a relatively uneducated and boorish family from some backwoods of New England being reluctant to accept a potential suitor for their daughter that came from a respectable hard working educated family from the hills of Tennessee because they must therefore be rednecks/hillbillies and unworthy of marrying into their family.

To this day, in a sick twisted way, I STILL look forward to the awkward moment when I'll unexpectedly run into her mother. My biggest fear is that she goes to her grave without getting an earful about that twisted ugly soul that she carries around inside her. No one should go through life carrying that much evil inside them.

From what I heard, my ex-GF has since married someone that met her parents' expectations. A young lawyer from the same 'area' of the 'homeland', with a reputation of being as manipulative. Looking back, I see that there was a slight improvement in my ex's behaviour when I broke off our relationship cold-turkey practically at the point of our engagement (in fact a ring had just been presented, but believe it or not, I took the ring back to get resized and that's when I got to the point of snapping), but as is usually the case with me, I tend to keep giving forgiving until I snap once and for all. I suspect she was subconsciously looking for some sort of abuse and manipulation in her relationship... something I don't have the heart to do to someone I care about.


FLIPPING THE COIN NOW


So I met my wife at work, while she was on a short-term contract from the main office in Sweden. We hit it off. She's level headed, cool and collected, self-motivated and independent. My first interaction with her parents was when calling them in Sweden to ask to speak to her when she'd go home for visits... they seemed excited enough to hear from me, and made the effort to understand me even with my broken Swedish. My wife had described her parents as calm loving easy-going people. As with my example above, I see where the family background can influence the mindset of a person.

In 1998 she brought me with her on a summer visit to her hometown, to meet the parents after our engagement. Stepping off the bus, there they were. Her father steps up to greet me and we shake hands, and he goes one step further and gives me a warm welcoming hug. Her mother did the same, only with more hugs. Wow. Could it really be possible to have in-laws this nice?

Apparently so. We visit once a year (except the years where our kids have been under 1 year old, we should be over there sometime next March). And my only regret I have is that we cannot see them more often than this. Going to visit them is usually an opportunity for me to soak in the basic 'deep-down' goodness that my in-laws radiate in all directions. The type of 'deep-down' goodness that makes you realize the world needs more people like this.


Interesting how one family can make you feel like an outsider to your very own cultural background even as they share the same basic background... and then another family will welcome you instantly as one of their own even if at first you can hardly exchange complete sentences due to language barriers!

[2003 MIB]

That was a wonderful story, Steve. I'm happy for you!

[spiders]

I made the mistake of marrying the youngest and only son of a German couple who come to the US in the 60's. He had two sisters, who were pampered somewhat, but he was without a doubt the apple of his parents eye, and it was interesting (to say the least) to try to comprehend the Old World mentality with my Northern, Philly raised US attitude... guess you can guess it didn't last long, but it was odd to try to understand the motivating interests of the parents, seeing as their world and mine were so very different... Good people overall, but tough to really get close to... OK, so was the son! heh heh

[RR|Suki]

I've got two sides of the coin to share...

There was this girl (um, let me rephrase that: psychopathic little neurotic emotionally-underdeveloped witch) I was dating for a long time before I met my wife. It was my longest relationship until then, and looked like that was it for me. We were emotionally very attached, but she suffered from tremendous insecurities and emotional immaturity that I eventually figured must have been due to her family environment. And what an environment that was...

Her parents were VERY cheap, to begin with. No doubt the bank account was brimming with hundreds of thousands of dollars, yet they did nothing but occasionally spend a little money on a trip 'back to the homeland'. Her dad showed about as much emotion as a dead fish to his family and those around him, but rather than make him ominous and commanding respect, it made him seem more of a weenie than anything. The only emotion you could get out of the guy was when you sat and listened to him describe the multitude of stocks and options he was getting as a supervisor in the mail room of the bank he worked in. The kind of guy you'd expect to weasel his way through life and probably screw you out of stuff without you realizing it. Both him and his wife considered themselves prominent members of the local cultural community (Portuguese) but in reality no one really trusted them and really just played the game to avoid getting screwed through badmouthing, etc. The mind games they played on their kids most likely contributed to their twisted outlook on life... my girlfriend and her younger brother seemed destined to lead themselves straight to failure in life... but their youngest sister seemed to learn early on how to manipulate the parents into getting her way, no doubt she's grown up more in control of her life than her siblings, but she'll no doubt be inflicting the family curse on her own unfortunate children.

So because I cared very deeply for my girlfriend, I endured the subtle annoying jabs at my background. The jabs... tough to describe since most of you aren't familiar with the Portuguese culture, but imagine a relatively uneducated and boorish family from some backwoods of New England being reluctant to accept a potential suitor for their daughter that came from a respectable hard working educated family from the hills of Tennessee because they must therefore be rednecks/hillbillies and unworthy of marrying into their family.

To this day, in a sick twisted way, I STILL look forward to the awkward moment when I'll unexpectedly run into her mother. My biggest fear is that she goes to her grave without getting an earful about that twisted ugly soul that she carries around inside her. No one should go through life carrying that much evil inside them.

From what I heard, my ex-GF has since married someone that met her parents' expectations. A young lawyer from the same 'area' of the 'homeland', with a reputation of being as manipulative. Looking back, I see that there was a slight improvement in my ex's behaviour when I broke off our relationship cold-turkey practically at the point of our engagement (in fact a ring had just been presented, but believe it or not, I took the ring back to get resized and that's when I got to the point of snapping), but as is usually the case with me, I tend to keep giving forgiving until I snap once and for all. I suspect she was subconsciously looking for some sort of abuse and manipulation in her relationship... something I don't have the heart to do to someone I care about.




Man you just scared me there... other than being from the US I am having the SAME experience, almost to a T. My girlfriends Pastor recently told her if she continued to go out with me that god would have no use for her... Apparently I am neither white enough nor christian enough... we were actually planning to get married soon, but her parents have pretty much threatened to dis own her and she had a bit of a mental thing... also she goes to school 3 hours away and is now not talking to me because she says I deserve better... So to you guys out there who have kids, please raise them to make a better world, I thought it was rough in my country, atleast there people are upfront...

[TripleTransAm]

My girlfriends Pastor recently told her if she continued to go out with me that god would have no use for her...


And how would this Pastor know this? If he's got 'connections' with the man upstairs, maybe I can slip him a few bucks for a couple of favours...

That really sucks. I don't know what to say. When you're in it, sometimes it's so hard to see clearly out of a bad situation. What I CAN say is, whatever you decide to do, do it for love. People marry for money (my ex-gf's parents, for example), some marry for prestige (my ex-gf's current husband) and some do it for other reasons (running away from another problem, religion, being drunk in Las Vegas, etc.). But if you don't do it for love, it's GUARANTEED that one day you'll wake up and realize you did the wrong thing.

Irony number 1: my ex-gf's parents married for money, as far as I can tell. Each thought the other was financially well-endowed, as told to me by my ex-gf. Her mom even went as far as letting herself get pregnant in order to 'snare' her husband. Surprise: he had come to Canada practically penniless. So had she. No family fortune waiting for either 'back home'. Oh, to be able to bottle up the anguish and bitterness that lady must carry all these years... I'd be able to power most of my appliances for AT LEAST a year or two (mostly 110 V, not exceeding 15 Amps per connector).

Irony number 2: my ex-gf's dad eventually became a minister at the local church, having a bit of a self-righteous religious streak in him all along. I found it rather ironic to have someone preaching about love and acceptance and kindness to others and not being able to exhibit any of these qualities himself, which probably meant he didn't understand them to begin with.





My mom and dad recently went to Vancouver to spend some time with a childhood friend of my dad, they hadn't seen each other in close to 40 years. This friend was in the same situation as you are... his wife's father refused to acknowledge their relationship and did not attend the wedding. This friend and his wife eventually had kids, and eventually his wife and her mother regained contact, but the father refused to have anything to do with them.

One day, it happened the father came to pick up his wife at their house, but refused to leave the car to come in. My dad's friend saw this, and told his kids to go outside and say hello to the grandfather they never knew. He told them to go outside and give him a kiss and say hello.

This moved the old man to tears, and after so many years of holding a grudge, he finally stepped through the front door and faced his son-in-law for the first time in nearly a decade. My dad's friend put it all behind them, and although he admits he could never fully forgive, he did take the high road and did the honourable thing.

I don't know if that will help you or not. Just something to think about.

[spiders]

it isn't easy being the parent, either, you know, or in my case step-parent. My oldest married an Iraqi to keep him from being deported. That was in 2000. In 2001 I was at the Pentagon when a plane landed on my desk, hijacked by an Iraqi. My step-daughter shortly there after called me and eventually showed up on my door step to tell me that this handsome little baby with her was my new grandson... oh, and she's divorcing her Iraqi hubby for the bab's black dad. I keep trying to be supportive, but what the hell is someone to do when two kids turn out right and one is way out in left field?
Sorry, soap box. It's more than the raising, because I raised Shannon from 3-13 when her mother finally decided she wanted to be a parent. All those years, and a drunk real Mom, and it's beyond me that we are even related!! Her brothers are normal (one being mine, the other from her mother) so what happened??

[Donny Carlson]

I made the mistake of marrying the youngest and only son of a German couple who come to the US in the 60's.

There's no way I can ask diplomaticly.

http://www.wondercostumes.com/images/products/GC8244250.jpg

[spiders]

ask what? No, I am not that old, and yes they were out of concentration camps if that was your question... but they came here, had a few kids and are settled well into northern VA like they belong here... at least from the outside! Actually they really are very nice people, just also far too condoning of an adult son who needs to grow up and be responsible for himself. It is the traditional ideal of europeans, they spoil the sons, especially when there is only one, then make the poor soul who marries him into the scape goat for lifes dissapointments...
Sorry, was that a soap box again??? heh heh
Just very different to deal with. Their expectations are so foreign, even if they speak accented english only now... Little things like being white gloved whenever they come over, or having to be appropriately dressed for each occasion (and there is ALWAYS an occasion for a German to drink heavily and have the family together) and being expected to celebrate every little date with some major gift giving ceremony...
Man it was hard to keep ujp with for this city kid!

[Donny Carlson]

ask what?

That whistling noise you heard go over your head just now? That was my post.

[CRUZTAKER]

How about a thread about stories of the "The Parents." ....

Not gonna do it. :P

[spiders]

well then tell me what you meant, please

[CRUZTAKER]

There's no way I can ask diplomaticly.

http://www.wondercostumes.com/images/products/GC8244250.jpg

:lol:

You have crossed into the Twilight Zone...:popcorn:

[Donny Carlson]

well then tell me what you meant, please

Some things are best left unexplained.



note to barry: There's someone on the wing!

[Petrograde]

ok,... lemme translate.

Donny wants to know if you are a male or female.

I have a good in-law story,.. I'll share later.

[spiders]

Well I suppose that would be a fair question, and no I wouldn't have wondered that one because the precious post said I was a step-mom, but hey, to clarify, I AM FEMALE... Sorry guys, nothing to see here, move along...
I'm rahter slow, sorry, and kinda nieve (sp)

[MM03MOK]

ok,... lemme translate.

Donny wants to know if you are a male or female.

I have a good in-law story,.. I'll share later.Guess they're not paying attention, Lorraine!

[spiders]

is it a male thing or something? Seems alot of men are homophobic and make asumptions! Thanks Mary, at least someone isn't taking shots from left field!
Makes me wonder how big house 'mary' is!?! heh heh

[MM03MOK]

Makes me wonder how big house 'mary' is!?! heh heh:laugh: :laugh: :D

[spiders]

doubt he'll ever live that one down, really... but needs someone to remind occasionally...? heh heh

[Donny Carlson]

is it a male thing or something? Seems alot of men are homophobic and make asumptions! Thanks Mary, at least someone isn't taking shots from left field!
Makes me wonder how big house 'mary' is!?! heh heh

No assumptions made, no shots taken. I probably missed a previous post that revealed gender, couldn't figure a way to ask without making an ass of myself. Made an ass of myself anyway. Nothing new, will likey do it again before long.

[Donny Carlson]

Guess they're not paying attention, Lorraine!

Okay, somebody needs a visit from Happy Bunny.

[spiders]

No problem, Donny, we all make asses of ourselvces routinely, and after all, it was me that missed your gentile hint, so we're even! Smile, it could be worse, I could be a guy! Then what would you do??? heh heh

[CRUZTAKER]

Okay, somebody needs a visit from Happy Bunny.

Now THAT'S gay...:baaa:

You blew it Donny....get it....:stupid:

[Donny Carlson]

http://www.fallowfields.com/photos/fal1.jpg

In Alabama, Falconry usually involves old Ford economy sedans, and if caught, you wind up having to pick up trash along the interstate wearing a flourescent orange jump suit.

http://www.1motormart.com/gallery/62ford02.jpg

[Donny Carlson]

No problem, Donny, we all make asses of ourselvces routinely, and after all, it was me that missed your gentile hint, so we're even! Smile, it could be worse, I could be a guy! Then what would you do??? heh heh

Introduce you to Barry.

[spiders]

not overly PC, are we Cruz???
heh heh

[spiders]

well I got that one... and hey, don't like my birds??? Ever try it? It's a great sport!

[Donny Carlson]

Now THAT'S gay...:baaa:

You blew it Donny....get it....:stupid:

Wow, you don't know about Happy Bunny? I thought you were kewl!

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b129/Kalypso989/0ac61f09.jpg

[CRUZTAKER]

Hello Jerry...


Hello Neuman...

:baaa:

Hello Lorainne.;)

[spiders]

On the other forum we were discussing the weight of the car, and I now realize that mine would be heavier ... for all those rocks rolling around in my head! Got the Barry one, didn't catch the other because I didn't see the second line... geez, it must be age or something! Idiot central tonight...

[spiders]

Greetings and salutations neuman and jerry!!

[Donny Carlson]

:baaa:

Hello Lorainne.;)

You know, I resemble Neuman and AM a mail man.

And if you squint real hard, you could pass for Seinfield..........well, maybe. After a few shots of Jack Daniels.

[spiders]

after a few shots I could probably look like barry too! heh heh

[MM03MOK]

Okay, somebody needs a visit from Happy Bunny.http://www.mercurymarauder.net/showcase/files/4/6/7/bunny_2.jpg

..........

[spiders]

I LIKE IT!!!! Just my sense of humor!!

[spiders]

Actually needs a little blood splatter here and there to make it perfect...

[ckadiddle]

My current wife ordered me out of a mail-order catalog.

[spiders]

My current wife ordered me out of a mail-order catalog.

Got a good laugh out of that, thanks!:beer:

[StevenJ]

is it a male thing or something? Seems alot of men are homophobic and make asumptions! Thanks Mary, at least someone isn't taking shots from left field!
Makes me wonder how big house 'mary' is!?! heh heh

It's not you, it's just rare that we have female members, with the exception of Defyant's Wife. Car girls such as yourself are pretty rare in general. Doesn't mean that you aren't welcomed, actually we're glad to have you.

[spiders]

Thanks, will endeavor to persevere...

[MM03MOK]

http://www.northernsun.com/images/thumb/0571GirlPower.jpg

[gja]

OK,
This may bore some of you, and is sure to stun and surprise the rest.

My first contact (some 19 years ago now) was with my wifes father answering the door in his airline uniform (he worked for Royal Dutch KLM).
JAY-SUS he looked formal as all get-out!

He is well over 6' and has a beard and moustache. He was quite imposing to meet for the first time plus they had a big golden retriever who had that "shin-bone=milk-bone" gleam in its eyes.

I though they would look at "slickster-boy" at their door and give me the grilling of my life. Not to be, though.

Now, after 17 years of marriage, and my mom-in-law having passed away nearly 2 years ago I can honestly say a person could not be more loved by their own parents.

My father-in-law is the type of man who typifies what it meant to be a hard working man whose life saw the great depression, WW2 and all the trials and tribulations that followed. He is a friend and second father to me still.

I miss my mom-in-law terribly, she was one of those people you always find 1 of in each family. You know, the "care-giver", who always looked after everyone BUT themselves.

So, there you have it. No "Monster In-Law" story here.
Just wanted to provide some balance and share some happy things.

[ckadiddle]

That was kind of my point. My father in law is annoying at times (to his own family members and myself), but those times are balanced out by occaisional shining moments. My mother in law treats me like her own offspring. No complaints here. I am very lucky to have them.