.......You might be a ricer

[MarauderMarc]

Hey guys, Im sure you have all heard the "....you might be a redneck" line that Jeff Foxworthy does. Well as I was ironing my workshirt, I started thinking about how we should make a "you might be a ricer" line of jokes. I know some of you have quite the sense of humor, so it will be interesting to see how this goes. Okay, here goes....

If you have to check your tailpipe for cats and small dogs before you drive.....you might be a ricer.

[merc6]

...If you own a civic del slow and tell everyone it does 10's out the box!
...If you tell someone you lost a street race only cause you mist a shift in a automatic!

[hitchhiker]

If your exhaust tip is bigger than your head you might be a ricer.

:D

[ridinclean]

if your wing comes up higher than your rear window

[RoyLPita]

If your car sounds like a weedwacker
If every time you take your foot off of the gas and your car goes "swish" (<---wastegate opening)
...........you might be a ricer.

[Rick-n-Miami]

... if you didn't win the race because you didn't start from a 80mph roll.

[Bobby Clobber]

If your lug nuts have more torque than your engine.:banana:

[TripleTransAm]

If you order a suspension upgrade for the sole reason that your car is bottomed out from the weight of too many stickers.

[Shankin]

Life is short! Drive a Honda! Live forever!

[Paul T. Casey]

You might be a ricer if....
You think torque steer is cool.
You think the race is over when you turn on your flashers.
You think you know what vtec means.

[juno]

I saw this on a Mustang board sig.

[Breadfan]

You shift from "D" to "N" and back to "D" when you roll back on a hill to make it like you have a manual transmission.

[jinxed]

If your wings and stick on flames weigh more than your engine

[hdirish50]

You might be a ricer, if your car looks like it came out of a cereal box

[mcb26]

If your front wheels don't touch the ground because your speakers in the trunk are too heavy..you might be a ricer.

[TripleTransAm]

If you arrive at the track and proceed to install your slicks on the back wheels of your FWD car.

[ncmm]

You might be a ricer if you get one of these on your ricemobile

[ckadiddle]

You might be a ricer if.....

You keep getting wasted on the street by big, black "grandpa cars" that have "that funny M word" written on the bumper.

You have more stickers on your car than you can count on your fingers and toes.

You can stick your head into your muffler, yell, and hear an echo.

When you rev up to redline, you are suddenly attacked by a horde of amorous ferrets.

[merc6]

...if you think a rotary is a V6!
...if you consider a body kit a perfomance part.
...you claim 70hp gain from header back and an intake on a 83 civic
...If you race a MM and lose and only thing you can say is well at least my car looks faster than yours!
...if you even considered a turbonator!
...if you put parts on your car and leave them unpainted for more than 6 mos!
...when you have a full body kit, wing, tails, rims and a factory rusted out muffler barely hanging on.
...when you ask someone to race and at the next intersection you turn off and hit the flashers!

[duhtroll]

http://www.goingfaster.com/spo/you_might_be_a_ricer_if.html

http://chicago.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/67310530.html

There are about 13 of these threads in the archives somewhere . . .

-A

[merc6]

...when you think boost gauges on a N/A make you fastAr

[Dark_Knight7096]

(true story)
You have to call your mechanic friend (me) to come over and find out what that really loud and annoying buzzing sound is every time you rev the engine only to find out that when you got a new exhaust tip you mismeasured and every time u rev it vibrates into ur rear valence.

(another true story)
You brag to people about modding your car by putting "Lumens" in it.
"what is a lumen?"
"they go in the engine compartment"
"A lumen is a measure of light, how in gods name do you put them in your engine compartment? Did you install neons in there or something?"
"No they are plastic and go over the wires."
"...""...""Oh, you mean LOOMS? Like wire LOOMS?"
"Yea that's it looms. It took me all weekend too."

Silly ricers.

[merc6]

re aligning the rear tires to get the drif king look in a FWD car

[Cobra25]

You might be a racier if you Rev. on People in Electric Wheel Chair's then You claim you lost because You missed a shift, and your car is a automatic.

[Cobra25]

You might be a racier if you installed a big A$$ Tach to try to scare off the fast cars.

[merc6]

...if you convert to the single wiper system

[Cobra25]

You might be a racier if you Fly past the person who has 10 car lenghts in front of you after they put on their brakes, and then you claim a Victory!

[Petrograde]

..if you have wing,... spoilers I understand,.. not wings

sillyr ricer, wings are for airplanes!

[merc6]

...If you paint your car and rims Lime green and interior neon orange

[merc6]

...buy the 25HP chips off ebay and add 25HP to your cardomain page claims!

[merc6]

...if you put McDonnalds trays under the back tires of your fwd car to do drifts

[merc6]

...When you pull the ebrake and call it drift!

[merc6]

...When you consider fast and the furious as a documentary!

[CBT]

You might be a ricer if you spend 3 grand for an 80's CiviC, sink 20 grand into it, and actually hurt the trade in value.

[merc6]

...when your exhaust scares cats, dogs, and small children..chiren

[QWK SVT]

Here's a couple

10. You have a Toyota/Mazda Type R
9. You have stickers for products you don't own and are not even made for your model car
8. You replaced the clutch with a high performance unit, in your automatic Accord
7. You use Gran Turismo to gauge the increased horsepower from your mods
6. You manage to pull out a win, when you "fooled the other guy into applying the brakes before the race was over"
5. You drive your CIVIC around the waterbox, then reverse your REAR tires into the water and do a FWD burn out (I saw this one live and in person:lol: )
4. You have a 10-second daily driver, but "haven't had a chance to make it to the track, yet"
3. Your calling the autoclub, because you're hung up on a speed bump
2. After losing a race, you've ever said "I get better mileage than you"
.
.
.
And number 1:
You have to put sun glasses on while inside, due to the brightly painted dash :cool:

[MERCMAN]

if you spend your off time cutting grass for gas money

[Dark_Knight7096]

you use logos from the Transformers to represent ur make of vehicle.

(for some odd reason honda = Autobot and Acura = Decepticon)

Everytime i wanna see this i wanna blow those cars up, y take a POS and link it to the transformers??? WHY GOD, WHYYYY??!!???

[merc6]

...If you put apc on a domestic or import. APC doesn't stand for imports and apc isn't american made parts either!

lil ot but if were in japan what is hot import nights like events called? hot exports night?