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View Full Version : My Christmas Card to All of You!



martyo
12-20-2005, 03:48 PM
Happy holidays to all of you! Well, most of you anyway...

http://www.legalknevil.com/albums/Miscellaneous-Car-Stuff/aej.sized.jpg

MI2QWK4U
12-20-2005, 04:00 PM
Merry Christmas to you and yours Marty....

BruteForce
12-20-2005, 04:03 PM
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God’s work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you protect the public." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you serve the justice system." The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

:xtree: :wreath2: Happy Holidays Marty-Oh! :menorah: :toast:

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"

jgc61sr2002
12-20-2005, 05:48 PM
Happy Holidays to All.:wreath: :menorah: :xtree:

Cobra25
12-20-2005, 05:51 PM
:santaw: :wreath: A Happy Holiday Season to You and Everyone Else Hear too!

Donny Carlson
12-20-2005, 06:49 PM
He thoughtfully included it in his most recent Cease and Desist Order!

Let me share it with you all:


From me ("the wishor") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee"):

Please accept without obligation, explicit or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions.

Please also accept, under aforesaid waiver of obligation on your part, my best wishes for a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of this calendar year of the Common Era, but with due respect for the calendars of all cultures or sects, and for the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you acknowledge that:

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal at the wishor's discretion.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no warranty on the part of the wishor to fulfill these wishes, nor any ability of the wishor to do so, merely a beneficent hope on the part of the wishor that they in fact occur.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

Any references in this greeting to "Santa Claus", "Father Christmas", "Kris Kringle", or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

Sincerely,

Martin Ochs
Attorney at Law

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martyo
12-20-2005, 07:54 PM
Donny: Just remember there is no Sanity Clause!

Rider90
12-20-2005, 07:56 PM
That was awesome :baaa:

cruzer
12-20-2005, 08:14 PM
He thoughtfully included it in his most recent Cease and Desist Order!

Let me share it with you all:


From me ("the wishor") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee"):

Please accept without obligation, explicit or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions.

Please also accept, under aforesaid waiver of obligation on your part, my best wishes for a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of this calendar year of the Common Era, but with due respect for the calendars of all cultures or sects, and for the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you acknowledge that:

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal at the wishor's discretion.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no warranty on the part of the wishor to fulfill these wishes, nor any ability of the wishor to do so, merely a beneficent hope on the part of the wishor that they in fact occur.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

Any references in this greeting to "Santa Claus", "Father Christmas", "Kris Kringle", or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

Sincerely,

Martin Ochs
Attorney at Law

<!-- #EndEditable -->
Like he says--and to you my Nephew :) Many happy Holidays and a Long Life, Uncle Maury

teamrope
12-20-2005, 10:38 PM
http://www.legalknevil.com/albums/Miscellaneous-Car-Stuff/aej.sized.jpg

I want ^^^Their^^^ lawyer! :D

Merry Christmas :)

martyo
12-21-2005, 05:49 AM
I want ^^^Their^^^ lawyer! :D

Merry Christmas :)

Everyone does! :D Well, except Zack, but he too will learn one day..... :D