Reasons Not to go to Work

[Rider90]

Share some of your own :P

I thought of one today that would make me crack up if someone called me at work with this excuse:

"My shoelaces are broken, I can't leave the house."

Ah it was funnier in my head.

Now you go...

[Bradley G]

Bone marrow xplant :eek:

[Tallboy]

An old friend came in from out of town.

My tux didn't come back from the cleaners.

Someone stole my car.

I didn't have any money for cab fare.

The was a terrible flood.

Locusts!

It wasn't my fault I swear to God!

[Rider90]

I didn't have any money for cab fare.
^^^^ This one will never work where I work at :P

[CRUZTAKER]

I'm still loaded and all the fibers look green...:sleepy:

[mr.continental]

i can't find my toothbrush

[Hotrauder]

You mean I'm supposted to come in every day?!

[melfunkshun]

I can't come into work today because of eye trouble.... I can't see working today.

I'm not going to work today, I spent my paycheck on lottery tickets, and I'm out of Gas 'till payday.

[dwasson]

I can't come in because I'm stalking my last boss. He always bugged me about not coming in.

[STLR FN]

I got into a fight with myself and lost. Now I'm in the hospital.

[MarauderMarc]

My wife/girlfriend wont let me get dressed:D

[grampaws]

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that
She is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.
"What is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my *** coming into work today

[Haggis]

I don't need a reason, just getting up in the morning is reason enough.

[Rob1559]

I am rich.

[Joe Walsh]

I can't come into work today because of eye trouble.... I can't see working today.

I'm not going to work today, I spent my paycheck on lottery tickets, and I'm out of Gas 'till payday.

LOL..I heard one similar to this:

"I have job related temporary RECTAL BLINDNESS"...

(I can't see my A$$ coming in to work today.):D

[SergntMac]

"I'm out of sick time, so, I'm calling in dead"

[Haggis]

'You have been missing a lot of work lately.'

'Well Bob, I realy can't say I 've been missing it.'

[juno]

My dog ate my badge.

[94_302]

An old friend came in from out of town.

My tux didn't come back from the cleaners.

Someone stole my car.

I didn't have any money for cab fare.

The was a terrible flood.

Locusts!

It wasn't my fault I swear to God!

Ah, The Blues Brothers, the greatest movie ever created. :D

[seans]

This one was actually used where I work...

My cat has the flu.

[fastblackmerc]

My wife/girlfriend wont let me get dressed:D
Don't we all wish....................

[Breadfan]

Im still drunk.

[ckadiddle]

This one always gets me a free pass to stay home a few days:
"I have projectile vomiting and rocket-like diarrhea."

[Breadfan]

Reminds me of a similar one...

"I'm vomiting from both ends."

yuck!

[mcb26]

I was kidnapped by terriost, who forced me to drink massive quanities of beer. I finally managed to escape, but somebody stepped on my fingers.

[BruteForce]

"I'm going to a job interview. Oops! Did I say that out loud?"

[Bluerauder]

Share some of your own :P
Who needs a reason ???? :D

My car won't start!! (Of course, I haven't been out there to try yet ... but who knows) :rofl:

[the_pack_rat]

TRUE story.

YEARS ago I worked an overnight security job. My work week started late Sun evening/Mon morning at midnight & it ended 8AM on Friday morning(take note - this is important later). Had a friend that worked similar hours as well elsewhere.

Once you work nights for awhile ..... your 8/9AM quiting time, can become a new and pefectly acceptable "5-o'clock in the afternoon" to YOU ..... esp when you're younger(& often not as wise). And that we did - while most others would be at one of the well noted local watering holes for their kick ass breakfast and some coffee..... we would meet up there for beers & burgers or something.

Well one Friday things were no different & it was a payday. I don't think I ceased to march till sometime around dinner. Anywhoo ... I find myself waking up at like 12:50AM. 1st thought ..... "oh-s... I'm late". Jump up - grab the phone & call up one of my partners to tell him I overslept & I'd be in ASAP.

Total silence for like a minute till .....

Him - "Ummmm fun day today I guess ?"

Me - "Eh".

Him - "Do you know what day it is ?".

Me - "Eh ?".

Him - "It's S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y".

Me - "Ehhhhhh - ummmmmmm - der ..... ok then I'll see you in a couple of days".

I didn't live that down for WEEKS.

[BruteForce]

TRUE story...

Been there. Done that. Lost the t-shirt somewhere during a binge. Been sober for over 20 years now. :beer:

[Vortech347]

Because its friday. Muahahaha I'm not going into the office today cause i don't give a rats ass. :)

[Mad1]

Im still drunk.

I worked one summer in college as a second-shift (3 p.m.-12 a.m.) dispatcher for a private ambulance company where the drivers would get together at the ambulance garage after dropping off their rigs to drink all night. I shudder to think of how many times they were still fairly well loaded when they had to make their first runs in the morning or early afternoon. (Mainly private transport duty ... dialysis and the like, but still frightening when I think about it.)

I loved that shift, though only because a friend had the same schedule at a local electronics factory. We'd meet up in the mornings to go fishing or golfing all summer, then carpool into work in the afternoons. Worst part was we never saw any of our other friends ... who all had to be at work early and got out after we had started ... and nobody was ever awake when we got finished for the night except on Fridays.

My best excuse for not coming in to work: My car went in the ditch three times this morning, so I gave up and went back inside the house.

Jeremy
Mad1

[RoyLPita]

I heard this from a customer:
"I can't drive a car without a functioning horn."

[KillJoy]

I heard this from a customer:
"I can't drive a car without a functioning horn."

You mean you can!:eek: When in doubt......WHAIL ON THE HORN!:banana:

KillJoy

[MarauderMarc]

I heard this from a customer:
"I can't drive a car without a functioning horn."

So whats wrong with your middle finger????

[STLR FN]

It's not loud enough and some people are illiterate. :lol:
So whats wrong with your middle finger????