STLR FN
02-22-2006, 11:46 PM
In the Man v Woman spirit, I found this:
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what
I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey.
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what
I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey.
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.