I rule

[Chuck Norris]

I am a sexual tyrannosaurus.

[mpearce]

I heard Chuck Norris killed a tyranosaurus with a roundhouse kick.

[MarauderMark]

Hey Chuck hows your brother Frank?:D

[Bluerauder]

I heard Chuck Norris killed a tyranosaurus with a roundhouse kick.
And, that's how Chuck Norris invented Ground Round.

[DefyantExWife]

what is this thread about anyway ?

[Hotrauder]

Lisa, it is hard to tell. Since we lost the Last Post thingy things have been a little weird at times. You know all about weird so I had hoped that you could shed a little light on this for me? I am without hope to fathom this stuff without major help. :help: Please. Dennis

[DefyantExWife]

Dennis, the only help I can offer is to inform you and the rest that this thread is a lie.


What's his name does NOT rule.


it is I who rule !!! :coolman:


me, i do. Not that Norris guy

[MarauderMark]

Dennis, the only help I can offer is to inform you and the rest that this thread is a lie.


What's his name does NOT rule.


it is I who rule !!! :coolman:


me, i do. Not that Norris guy
:rofl:Ha ha ha ha .F****N Aye Lisa:up:

[Chuck Norris]

What's his name does NOT rule.

it is I who rule !!! :coolman:

me, i do. Not that Norris guy

You want me.

Come . . . to Chuck.

[94_302]

O'doyle RULES!!! Seriously how could Chuck take on the O'doyle family? :D

[MarauderMarc]

Isnt Chucks brother the Brawny Paper towel guy?

[DEFYANT]

Ah....


So this is one of THOSE threads, eh?

I rule! Chuck Norris drools.

[STLR FN]

Nope I rule. The rest, including Chuck, are just tools.

[Jolly Roger]

I understand that since Chuck is now in his 60's, his new TV show's name will change from Walker, Texas Ranger to Texas Ranger with a walker. :D

[DefyantExWife]

All I have to say is....


Chuck Chuck Bo Buck


Banana Fanna Fo..... :eek:

er, Me My Mo Muck

Chuuuuuck



:D

[O's Fan Rich]

I never ruled... and my uterus hurts.

[mpearce]

I never ruled


Thats because you're not Chuck Norris.

... and my uterus hurts.

...because thats where Chuck Norris hit you with his roundhouse kick.

-Mat

[SergntMac]

Just y'all wait until Snake gets back from NYC.

Or is it L.A. again...

[duhtroll]

All I have to say is....

Chuck Chuck Bo Buck

Banana Fanna Fo..... :eek:

er, Me My Mo Muck

Chuuuuuck

:D

Now try Mitch. . .

[MarauderMark]

...because thats where Chuck Norris hit you with his roundhouse kick.

-Mat
Yeah you gotta watch out for thoses stilettos they're pointy..

[SergntMac]

Hey Chuck...When you deliver one of the roundhouse kick thingys, do your panties bunch up?

[Hotrauder]

Chuck "Barris" is the real tough guy. Jaye P. Morgan would GONG Norris so fast that his uterus would hurt. Dennis:beer:

[mpearce]

Just y'all wait until Snake gets back from NYC.

Or is it L.A. again...

Snake Pliskin...

First, Snake escaped from N.Y., then he escaped from L.A.

Both times he was trying to escape from Chuck Norris...who eventually found him hiding in Chicago, and killed him with a roudhouse kick.

-Mat

[STLR FN]

Chuck Norris is a girlie- man.

Ya. and so is dat Jack bauer.

[STLR FN]

Snake Pliskin...

First, Snake escaped from N.Y., then he escaped from L.A.

Both times he was trying to escape from Chuck Norris...who eventually found him hiding in Chicago, and killed him with a roudhouse kick.

-Mat

Snake Pliskin is a poser.

[Chuck Norris]

I heard Roethlisberger and Bettis were moving to Massachussetts so they could get married.


Snake Pliskin is a poser.

[STLR FN]

Nope that would be Kalifornia.
Chuck, you missed me with your roundhouse kick. :D
I heard Roethlisberger and Bettis were moving to Massachussetts so they could get married.

[jimlam56]

Nope I rule. The rest, including Chuck, are just tools.
From what I've seen around here, LOGAN rules!:D

[Haggis]

Yawn.........

[Chuck Norris]

That's what I said after dating every girl you ever had. All at once.


Yawn.........

[mpearce]

I heard Roethlisberger and Bettis were moving to Massachussetts so they could get married.

This is true...they were both threatened with a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris if they didn't do it.

Remember...the primary export of Chuck Norris is pain.

[TripleTransAm]

Isnt Chucks brother the Brawny Paper towel guy?


No. Chuck Norris wipes his ass with the Brawny paper towel guy.

[MarauderMark]

No. Chuck Norris wipes his ass with the Brawny paper towel guy.
Yeowwww that guy has a think beard..:tongue:

[King Fubar]

Chucks game (http://hallpass.com/media/chucknorris.html)

[Jack Bauer]

Chuck, just remember one thing. This is my word, and I am allowing you to walk through it.

[TripleTransAm]

Chuck, just remember one thing. This is my word, and I am allowing you to walk through it.

Jack Bauer gets so frightened by the mere thought of Chuck Norris that he loses the ability to spell correctly. Either that, or entire chunks of online text commit e-suicide out of sheer fear at the mention of Chuck Norris.

Anyway, Jack Bauer sucks so hard that he needs both a supercharger AND two turbochargers just to be able to see positive numbers on his boost gauge when driving aggressively.

[MarauderMarc]

No. Chuck Norris wipes his ass with the Brawny paper towel guy.

I heard he wipes his ass with Jack Bauers ass.

[TripleTransAm]

I heard he wipes his ass with Jack Bauers ass.

Jack Bauer has no ass... Chuck Norris kicked it off as part of a pre-emptive strike. I heard it's mounted on the wall at Chuck's ranch, next to all the other endangered species. Consequently, every so often Jack has to call Chuck for permission to fart.

[Audie Murphy]

I am a sexual tyrannosaurus.

Chuck, I'm gonna let you live just because you wore a uniform once and you live in Texas. Just so you know...the Germans were after me...not world domination. They heard my sperm was the secret ingredient they needed for their super soldier project...you were 2nd on the list.

Jack, you're gonna have to go. I was eradicating the forces of Nazi oppression when you were still a gleam in your Daddy's eye...opps, meant to say tear...hard for a Dad to accept his son is such a girlie guy.

When you wanna give up those girlie pop-shooter pistols you carry and get a real gun like the Browning BAR, .50 cal or Thompson sub-gun...let me know...I'll put you on a workout program so you can beef up and carry it. Be warned though, military pressing sherman tanks aint easy.

[SergntMac]

Just so you know...the Germans were after me...not world domination. They heard my sperm was the secret ingredient they needed for their super soldier project... Well thanks, Audie, this lesson in genetics explains why all Panzer tank personnel were under 5'7" tall. Did you get any U-boat time?

When you wanna give up those girlie pop-shooter pistols you carry and get a real gun like the Browning .50 cal... Audie...Dude...You're > 5'6" (and I am being generous)...Why do you need to carry a rifle that's longer than you are tall?

Wait, I get it now...Something about something "envy". But, just how did you sling that .50 cal BAR without dragging the butt through the muds of Western Europe? You ain't no Sgt. York, dude.

Audie...Pass on all this. As funny as it is to type here "all this is beneath you". LOL!

Anyway...While you're world reknown as the pinnacle poster boy for midgets in the military of WWII, you're coming up short here. You're boathouse kick couldn't brush burnt rubber off my genuine Megs resonator delete tips. If you took one foot off the ground, you would topple over from the weight of a .50 cal BAR on your right shoulder, (or, the medals on your left chest, what did you get, all of them?), before you could raise anything above knee height, including our attention.

Sigh...All that...And they left you still just a sergeant...

[SergntMac]

Jack, you're gonna have to go. I was eradicating the forces of Nazi oppression when you were still a gleam in your Daddy's eye...opps, meant to say tear...hard for a Dad to accept his son is such a girlie guy. Snake (and his twin from birth, Dog) are both very proud of Jack's accomplishments. The last time I spoke with Chuck's mother (and I have no clue why she calls me at all hours of the day), she expressed absolute joy over her discovery that one of her sons actually became a man. She mentioned something about "hitting the back wall", and, "being on target", but she's not all that weapons oriented that I recall.

[Chuck Norris]

Someone sure seems interested in my momma. Best be careful that she not kick your a$$ like she did the last time you were harassing her.

You sound very well versed in the gay references though, so I'll defer to your expertise there. Or maybe you and Joke Bauer could consult each other. Just don't do it my state or I'll haveta kill both of you.

As for Audie Murphy, you'd need a step stool just to try to fight me. But then I'd just have a better angle to roundhouse kick you into orbit.

Lifting Sherman tanks? I eat a bowl of them for breakfast on Saturdays. I like to keep it light on the weekends.

My ***** has its own time zone, people. Please!


Snake (and his twin from birth, Dog) are both very proud of Jack's accomplishments. The last time I spoke with Chuck's mother (and I have no clue why she calls me at all hours of the day), she expressed absolute joy over her discovery that one of her sons actually became a man. She mentioned something about "hitting the back wall", and, "being on target", but she's not all that weapons oriented that I recall.

[Ross]

All I have to say is....


Chuck Chuck Bo Buck


Banana Fanna Fo..... :eek:

er, Me My Mo Muck

Chuuuuuck



:D



You are nowhere NEAR old enough to remember this song...

[natedog1284]

Chuck Norris may be good, but let's see him post on a web site 35 years after he died. Rock on Audie!

[Audie Murphy]

Well thanks, Audie, this lesson in genetics explains why all Panzer tank personnel were under 5'7" tall. Did you get any U-boat time?
Audie...Dude...You're > 5'6" (and I am being generous)...Why do you need to carry a rifle that's longer than you are tall?

Wait, I get it now...Something about something "envy". But, just how did you sling that .50 cal BAR without dragging the butt through the muds of Western Europe? You ain't no Sgt. York, dude.

Audie...Pass on all this. As funny as it is to type here "all this is beneath you". LOL!

Anyway...While you're world reknown as the pinnacle poster boy for midgets in the military of WWII, you're coming up short here. You're boathouse kick couldn't brush burnt rubber off my genuine Megs resonator delete tips. If you took one foot off the ground, you would topple over from the weight of a .50 cal BAR on your right shoulder, (or, the medals on your left chest, what did you get, all of them?), before you could raise anything above knee height, including our attention.

Sigh...All that...And they left you still just a sergeant...

Hey genius, what's panzer tanks got to do with me? I'm American!
The BAR shrunk to fit me everytime I shouldered it...the BAR knows who's BOSS.
By the way...the BAR is .30 cal...DUHHHH! The .50 is a different weapon altogether.
And yes...I did win them all...
And again...DUHHHH...go take some Ginko...you need the brain fuel...I received a battlefield commission to 2nd LT.

[Chuck Norris]

I don't "die," as you mortals call it. I am impervious to death. Death mows my lawn because I *let* him.

Let's get this forum back on topic -- there's been too much about cars and not enough about me; Chuck Norris.

I started this planet spinning with a half-hearted roundhouse kick. Every time it tries to slow down, I just stare at it and that fixes the problem.

NASA wants me to send their new spacecraft to Mars to save on rocket fuel, but they can't build one strong enough to withstand even my weakest kick.


Chuck Norris may be good, but let's see him post on a web site 35 years after he died. Rock on Audie!

[SergntMac]

Oh Jeeze...Give Chuck 3 months in the real world for reconditioning, and he returns here to blow it all out his azz...

Jack Bauer never needed 3 months R&R, go figure.

[Chuck Norris]

Joke Bauer's life is fantasy, so I can see why he would never need R&R. Besides, I never left. If I had left, the site would have come crashing down for fear that all was lost.

Had I blown anything out my "azz," the planet certainly could not have sustained the force created.


Oh Jeeze...Give Chuck 3 months in the real world for reconditioning, and he returns here to blow it all out his azz...

Jack Bauer never needed 3 months R&R, go figure.

[Mad4Macs]

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

[SergntMac]

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal. Hell, dat ain't nutin...My ex-wife did that in the divorce settlement.