Mad4Macs
07-11-2006, 12:55 PM
Having lived the life of a swinging bachelor for 25 years, I've recently decided to "slow it down" a bit, stay in more often and... ahem...*cook* my own food. Here's what I've learned over the last 30 days.
1) Wash grapes before eating them. 2 weeks ago, I bought a bag of white, seedless grapes, then sat and proceeded to eat them while watching tv. Later, when I went to the can, I noticed my fingers were dirty. I did my business, completed the paperwork, washed, then went back to the grapes. Later, when I went to the can, I noticed that my fingers were dirty. Washing also applies to apples, however, when it comes to bananas, you can let it slide.
2) Apple come in many varieties.
Mom only bought Red Delicious Apples, therefore only Red Delicious Apples exist. Not only is this untrue, but I've discovered one of mother's greatest injustices perpetrated on me yet. Not only are Red Delicious Apples not my favourite, I've found that not all apples are red! That, and some of the one's mixed with yellows and pinks taste better. Lastly, since God Didn't Make Little Green Apples, who did?
3) You can fry meat of dubious sanitary content into being safe for consumption, but you cannot make it taste good.
4) A bag of rice can feed a man for a week. So can a bag of sugar.
5) Wash lettuce before eating it, and don't eat it like an apple.
6) If you do not flush the toilet before going away for the weekend, upon returning home, you will wish that you had.
7) You can turn off the lights, appliances and all other electrical devices in order to cut your bills, but you'll become bored quickly when you do.
8) Washing canned foods is not required. Washing canned salmon is disgusting.
9) The cost of double ply is twice that of single, but it's 4 times as valuable.
10) Wash your hands after using single ply. Immediately.
1) Wash grapes before eating them. 2 weeks ago, I bought a bag of white, seedless grapes, then sat and proceeded to eat them while watching tv. Later, when I went to the can, I noticed my fingers were dirty. I did my business, completed the paperwork, washed, then went back to the grapes. Later, when I went to the can, I noticed that my fingers were dirty. Washing also applies to apples, however, when it comes to bananas, you can let it slide.
2) Apple come in many varieties.
Mom only bought Red Delicious Apples, therefore only Red Delicious Apples exist. Not only is this untrue, but I've discovered one of mother's greatest injustices perpetrated on me yet. Not only are Red Delicious Apples not my favourite, I've found that not all apples are red! That, and some of the one's mixed with yellows and pinks taste better. Lastly, since God Didn't Make Little Green Apples, who did?
3) You can fry meat of dubious sanitary content into being safe for consumption, but you cannot make it taste good.
4) A bag of rice can feed a man for a week. So can a bag of sugar.
5) Wash lettuce before eating it, and don't eat it like an apple.
6) If you do not flush the toilet before going away for the weekend, upon returning home, you will wish that you had.
7) You can turn off the lights, appliances and all other electrical devices in order to cut your bills, but you'll become bored quickly when you do.
8) Washing canned foods is not required. Washing canned salmon is disgusting.
9) The cost of double ply is twice that of single, but it's 4 times as valuable.
10) Wash your hands after using single ply. Immediately.