Fun Facts About States

[dwasson]

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting - yet completely useless, and probably untrue - information about each of the 50 states.
This week, it's time to use your hand for a map, because we're headed off to Michigan, so let's get started...

Michigan became the 26th state on January 26th, 1837, and was originally a penal colony for disloyal Canadians who refused to say "eh?" at the end of every sentence.

If someone from Michigan flips you off, don't be offended. He's probably just trying to tell you to take I-75 to Mackinaw City.

Famous singer Madonna was born in Detroit, Michigan, which may explain why her bras looked like the hubcaps from a '57 Chevy.

Michigan's nickname is the "Wolverine State", even though there are no longer any wolverines in the state. The last Michigan wolverine died in 1872 when it was eaten by a badger while attempting to sneak across the border into Wisconsin.

Rogers City, Michigan boasts the world's largest limestone quarry, which is where Fred Flintstone used to work before he made it big in Hollywood.

Yes, I know Fred Flintstone lived in Bedrock, but he commuted.

Being surrounded by four of the five Great Lakes, Michigan has more bridges than any other state, most of which Ted Kennedy has driven off of at one time or another.

The Detroit Zoo does not keep its animals in cages, because they all know better than to wander the streets of Detroit after dark.

Industrialist Henry Ford was born in Dearborn, Michigan, and invented the assembly line to streamline the process of killing union agitators.

The Ambassador Bridge connecting Michigan to Canada was built in 1953 and has since been heavily mined to prevent more talentless, hack actors like William Shatner from sneaking into our country.

No matter where you stand in Michigan, you're less than 100 miles from one of the Great Lakes. If you're in Detroit, you're also less than 100 feet from the scene of a violent crime.

Politician Thomas Dewey was born in Owosso, Michigan, and mentored Al Gore in how to lose a close election.

Most snowblowers sold in Michigan are manufactured in Detroit and come with 10-year/100,000 mile warranties.

They usually expire due to mileage.

The state flag of Michigan consists of a dark blue background over which is a lighter blue shield and the motto, "Cold like Wisconsin, but more recognizably hand-shaped".

The name Michigan comes from the Chippewa Indian word "Mishigawa", meaning "half my pocket change is Canadian, eh?"

Rock & Roll legend Ted Nugent was born in Detroit, Michigan, but left the state in 1982 after he ran out of animals to kill there.

Although the Western shore of Michigan has many large sand dunes, it has no camels as they were hunted to extinction by Ted Nugent in 1981.

James Vernor invented Ginger Ale in his Detroit pharmacy. It's one of the most popular drinks in the nation, except in Kansas, where it's regularly outsold by Mary Ann Ale.

Michigan is the only place in the world with a floating post office, which is frequently attacked by disgruntled former employees "going pirate".

Aviator Charles Lindbergh was born in Detroit Michigan. His solo flight across the Atlantic in 1927 was the first recorded instance of an American being glad to arrive in France.

Michigan has more than 11,000 lakes, all of which have - at one time or another - hidden Jimmy Hoffa.

In the 1950's & 60's, the prevalence of Detroit black singing groups created the style of music known as "Motown". Since the advent of rap, it's been called "Mofotown".

In 1929, The Michigan State Police established the world's first police radio system after inventing the chocolate glazed radio receiver.

The state reptile of Michigan is the Painted Turtle, or - as the natives refer to it - the Crunchy Speed Bump.

---

That wraps up the Michigan edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go jam out to some funky Mofotown grooves.

[ckadiddle]

hehheh heheh heh .... you said "penal"... hehheh

[prchrman]

Is it true there is no spring or fall in Mich...just summer and winter...
Mich is also where the Jimmer lives...right...

[KillJoy]

Michigan sucks soooo bad, it keeps Ohio from sliding into the Ohio River :D

KillJoy

PS - GO BUCKS!!

[Dr Caleb]

Is it true there is no spring or fall in Mich...just summer and winter...

Pffft! Here in Alberta, our two seasons are 'Winter' and 'Road Construction'.

[MAD-3R]

Michigan sucks soooo bad, it keeps Ohio from sliding into the Ohio River :D

KillJoy

PS - GO BUCKS!!

but Ohio was settled by people to scared to move to Indiana. :)

[dwasson]

For Killjoy

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting - yet completely useless, and probably untrue - information about each of the 50 states.
This week, the natives will be tricking us into believing that buckeyes actually come from the annual shedding of the male deer's eyeballs as we visit Ohio. So let's get started...

Ohio became the 17th state on March 1, 1803 and was originally populated by people who were improperly whacked by the Detroit mob and dumped into Lake Erie.

The state flower of Ohio is the Scarlet Carnation, more popularly known as the flower that cheapskates buy for their ladies instead of roses.

The first ambulance service in the US was started in Cincinnati, Ohio, in 1865 as a method of promoting physical fitness among lawyers.

Cleveland, Ohio is home to America's first traffic light. The idea was borrowed from the French "war light", whose green, red, and yellow signals told French citizens whether to flee, surrender, or collaborate.

Ermal Fraze invented the pop-top can in Kettering, Ohio, which replaced the older, less reliable method of opening cans - outraging a Muslim into suicide-bombing it open for you.

Singer Dean Martin was born in Steubenville, Ohio, and was the last non-Frenchman to sincerely believe that Jerry Lewis was funny.

The cash register was invented in Dayton, Ohio in 1879 by James Ritty. The first model consisted of a locking drawer attached to his wife's cleavage.

"Hang On Sloopy" is the official state rock song of Ohio, which narrowly beat out "Smack My ***** Up".

Although Ohio's state nickname is the "Buckeye State", long-time residents still prefer the previous nickname of the "Big Red Dangling Nuts State".

Ohio's name comes from an Iroquois Indian word meaning "Lake Erie's on fire again".

Founded in 1869, the Cincinnati Reds were the first professional baseball team. The second professional team wasn't created until 1870, which may explain why the Reds won their first 130 games by forfeit.

Akron, Ohio was the first city to use police cars. Coincidentally, it was also the first city with a donut shop.

Cincinnati was the first city with a full-time professional fire department, originally consisting of 25 Dalmations with bladder-control problems.

Akron, Ohio is the rubber capital of the world, annually producing enough of the material to supply rubber chickens to every crappy prop comic on earth. Or to supply one Carrot Top show.

The American Federation of Labor union was founded in Columbus, Ohio. It offers all the high-quality corrupt thuggery you've come to expect from East Coast unions, but with a pleasant mid-western accent.

At the age of 77, Ohio senator John Glenn became the oldest man to visit outer space aboard the space shuttle Discovery. The ship was grounded for six months afterwards while crews worked around the clock to get the "old person smell" out of it.

Cleveland, Ohio, is the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which is located across the street from the Alcohol and Drug Abuse Museum.

Ohio is the nation's leading producer of greenhouse and nursery plants. None of which are marijuana. And no, I don't know where you can get any. Now get away from me, you stupid hippy!

Canton, Ohio, is home to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. There's no doubt in my mind that Terrell Owens will make it in there someday - if he stops at the front counter and pays for an adult admission ticket.

Neil Armstrong was born in Wapakoneta, Ohio, and became the first man to walk on the moon. The second man to walk on the moon... eh... who cares about THAT loser!

Born in Dayton, Ohio, the Wright Brothers invented the airplane in 1903. Their accomplishment was was largely ignored until they invented the scantily-clad stewardess in 1905.

Americans have elected seven presidents from the state of Ohio. If we elect three more, we'll get a coupon for a free Speaker of the House.

The hot dog was given its name by concessionaire Harry Stevens of Niles, Ohio, after discovering that people weren't interested in buying his "snouts & sawdust sausages".

50% of the United States population lives within a 500 mile radius of Columbus, Ohio. The other 50% lives with a profound sense of relief.

Charles Kettering of Loudonville, Ohio, invented the automobile self-starter in 1911, which was a huge improvement over the old method of grabbing the engine block while pushing the car into an electric fence.

Ohio's state flag is the only one of the 50 states' which is a penant shape, rather than rectangular. Sorta like that kid you went to school with who thought that being the only person with a mullet made him cool.

In 1839, Charles Goodyear of Akron, Ohio, developed the process of vulcanizing rubber. Prior to that time, rubber could neither live long nor prosper.

Teflon was invented by Roy Plunkett of New Carlisle, Ohio, in 1938 after he followed a recipe for homemade glue typed up by his dyslexic secretary.

Oberlin College was founded in 1833, with the goal of becoming the first interracial and coeducational college in the US. It took a lot of persuading to get people to part with perfectly good tuition money only to be forced to rub elbows with filthy Irishmen.

Civil War General and US President Ulysses S. Grant was born in Point Pleasant, Ohio. His only notable accomplishments were getting really drunk and killing people. Which means that if Ted Kennedy ever became president, we'd soon have a new portrait on the $50 bill.

---

That wraps up the Ohio edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go find an electric fence so I can start my car.

[STLR FN]

:laugh: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :laugh:

[Blackened300a]

Hey didnt Lake Erie catch fire because of all the toxic waste coming out of Ohio??
And isnt Cleveland called the Mistake by the lake??

I lived in Cleveland for over a year while going to school. I actually had a good time out there.

[STLR FN]

Hey didnt Lake Erie catch fire because of all the toxic waste coming out of Ohio??
And isnt Cleveland called the Mistake by the lake??

I lived in Cleveland for over a year while going to school. I actually had a good time out there.Yep on both accounts.

[chrish]

wmms, the agora, micheal stanely,north olmstead, westlke, shaker........O back to the point....
cleveland engine 1&2............351---302--etc etc....cleveland is the town in ohio IMHO......................

[Blackened300a]

wmms, the agora, micheal stanely,north olmstead, westlke, shaker........O back to the point....
cleveland engine 1&2............351---302--etc etc....cleveland is the town in ohio IMHO......................

You forgot Lakewood Ohio, second to San Francisco for gays. Its close enough to be part of Cleveland so dont start that border line crap!

I loved the Great northern mall in North Olmstead. My apt had plenty of blacklight posters from Spencers in that mall. :rasta:

[chrish]

let here about alaska OR wyoming:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P P

[KillJoy]

HAHA!!!

:D

But you forgot the state slogan: "Ohio: The buttcrack of the US"

:D

KillJoy

[CRUZTAKER]

Indeed funny!;)

But there are a few corrections to be made.

Ohio's name comes from an Iroquois Indian word meaning "Lake Erie's on fire again".
Actually the Cuyahoga river burned. Not Lake ERIE. Had the Lake burned, prevailing winds would have colored Detroit black.
But then again...


Akron, Ohio is the rubber capital of the world....
Was.
Sadly Firestone moved to Atlanta essentially f-ing hundreds of laborers out their retirements if they failed to move along as well.

Cleveland, Ohio, is the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which is located across the street from the Alcohol and Drug Abuse Museum.
It has since closed.
Lack of interest.

Ohio is the nation's leading producer of greenhouse and nursery plants. None of which are marijuana.
According to High Times Magazine, the Amish in Ohio grow some of the finest ganj in America.

Oberlin College was founded in 1833, with the goal of becoming the first interracial and coeducational college in the US.
Mission accomplished.
Not too many Irish in site however.



I am looking forward to learning more about Kentucky.
That should prove mighty interesting.:P

[chrish]

You forgot Lakewood Ohio, second to San Francisco for gays. Its close enough to be part of Cleveland so dont start that border line crap!

I loved the Great northern mall in North Olmstead. My apt had plenty of blacklight posters from Spencers in that mall. :rasta:

No i didn't forget you ? & your people ( not that there is anything wrong with IT).....I was simply typing what interests me,......AS you did
thanks

[dwasson]

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it's time to put the K in KFC, because we're headed out to Kentucky, so let's get started...

Kentucky became the 15th state on June 1, 1792, despite the fact that no one in the state can actually count that high.

The state sport of Kentucky is horse racing, mostly because you can't lose your license for "riding under the influence".

In Kentucky, spitting tobacco juice on someone is considered a friendly greeting, much like the "up yours!" of a New York cabbie.

Kentucky is one of America's leading coal-mining states. Coal miners are easily recognizable by their almost Frenchman-like layer of black filth.

The state flag of Kentucky consists of a blue background behind two pickups and a still.

While attending church services in Kentucky, remember that - traditionally - the collection plate is passed BEFORE the spittoon.

They get REALLY upset when you get that wrong.

The state reality TV show of Kentucky is the Jerry Springer show, or - as it's known locally - "Southern Survivor".

When visiting a Civil War battlefield in Kentucky, try not to laugh out loud if the guide mentions how "we purt' near won that battle".

The state flower of Kentucky is Goldenrod, which should not be confused with that crappy James Bond movie starring Pierce Brosnan.

The state motto of Kentucky is "United we stand, divided we fall, drunk we pass out."

This replaced the old motto of "4 million people, 15 last names".

There are no newspapers in Kentucky, as being literate is considered snooty.

Although Kentucky is bordered by seven different states, Kentuckians rarely shop across state lines, since most stores in other states have firm "no shoes, no teeth, no service" policies.

Kentucky's nickname is the Bluegrass state.

Yeah, we all know grass is GREEN, but if you try to tell THEM that, they'll think you're just being snooty.

Kentucky is the only state in the US where drivers routinely hit their brakes before running over banjo players.

The electric lightbulb was first demonstrated at the Southern Exposition in Louisville, Kentucky in 1883, but was dismissed by locals as just another passing fad, like horseless carriages and soap.

Kentucky's name comes from the Iroquois Indian word "Ken-tah-ten", which means, "wife... sister... what's the difference?"

The state song of Kentucky is the Hee Haw Theme.

Kentucky has a population of 4 million people, all of whom are nicknamed Bubba.

Except for the women, of course, who are nicknamed Bubba Mae.

Or Auntie Mom.

The state tree of Kentucky is whichever one the Governor drives into while drunk. This week it's the tulip poplar.

The Kentucky Derby is the oldest continuously-run horse race in America, and was the inspiration for such other races as the Kentucky Stetson and the Kentucky Yarmulke.

Heather French became the first Miss America from Kentucky in 1999. She beat out Miss Alabama by correctly answering the question, "What is a toothbrush used for?"

Colonel Harlan Sanders opened his first fried chicken restaurant in Corbin, Kentucky in 1952. It was hugely successful, unlike his earlier chain of Kentucky Fried Possum.

Both Abraham Lincoln and Confederate President Jefferson Davis were born in Kentucky. They attended the same school as John Wilkes Booth, who routinely beat them both up and stole their lunch money.

The song "Happy Birthday To You" was written by two sisters from Louisville, Kentucky in 1893, and was originally titled, "I'm Too Cheap to Buy You a Present".

The first enamel bathtub was made in Louisville, Kentucky in 1856 and was immediately destroyed by a mob of angry hillbillies.

The world's largest cave is in Kentucky's Mammoth Cave National Park. Its vast, dark, emptiness is frequently compared to a Hillary Clinton presidency.

Well, that wraps up the Kentucky edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rescue my bathtub from angry hillbillies.

[dwasson]

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it's time to take a wrong turn at the Washington Monument and accidentally wind up in Maryland, so let's get started...

Maryland became the 7th state on April 28th, 1788 after it finally agreed to stop trying to invade Delaware to steal its oil.

The state bird of Maryland is the Oriole, which should NOT be confused with any similarly-named, chocolate-flavored, creme-filled sandwich cookies.

The state flag of Maryland is best described as, "a Picasso painting of a checkboard as interpreted by Andy Warhol while very drunk and standing on one leg."

The state flower of Maryland is the Black-Eyed Susan, or - as it's referred to by feminists - the "Justifiable Homicide Plant".

The highest point in Maryland is Backbone Mountain. It's 3360 feet tall, and has never been climbed by a Frenchman.

The state motto of Maryland is, "Yup, pretty much just a suburb of DC".

Maryland's nickname of "The Old Line State" is somewhat of a misnomer, since most of its residents prefer to freebase their cocaine.

Maryland was named after Henrietta Maria, wife of King Charles I of England. They WERE going to call is "Henriettaland", but decided that sounded too much like some kind of ****ycat-puppet-related theme park.

The lowest point in Maryland is Bloody Point Hole, at 174 feet below sea level. It used to be deeper, but Karl Rove's been using it a lot lately to dispose of "stifled dissenters", if you know what I mean.

Presidential assassin John Wilkes Booth was born in Bel Air, Maryland in 1838. Because of his high-profile crime, all US theaters now have "Marylander detectors" at each entrance as a security precaution.

Famous abolitionist Frederick Douglass was born in Tuckahoe, Maryland, which - and I can't emphasize this enough - starts with the letter "T", so really watch that left index finger while you're typing.

Another famous abolitionist - Harriet Tubman - was born in Dorchester County, Maryland and freed over 300 slaves during 20 trips between Maryland and Pennsylvania. Today, many black people honor her heroic journies by running up and down a wooden court for an hour, symbolically helping basketballs escape slavery by throwing them through "freedom hoops".

Gaithersburg, Maryland is home to the National Institute of Standards and Technology. It employs over 3000 pimply-faced geek-boys, none of whom have yet kissed a real girl.

National Anthem author Francis Scott Key was born in Frederick, Maryland, where he spent his formative years blowing stuff up and writing poetry about the explosions.

Baseball Hall-of-Famer Babe Ruth grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, and developed his legendary slugging prowess by working as a knee-cap breaker for local loan sharks.

The United States Naval Academy was founded on October 10, 1845 at Annapolis, Maryland. Coincidentally, the United States Hooker Academy was founded across the street the next day.

The first cathedral in the US was built in Baltimore, Maryland in 1821, mostly to clear the streets of the numerous drunken Irishmen passed out in the gutters.

Annapolis, Maryland once served as the capital of the US, but the Congressional building was eventually moved to Washington, D.C. to make room for the United States Hooker Academy.

The first dental school in the US opened at the University of Maryland in 1840. The early facilities were quite primitive, and the first class taught there was a course in how to make a set of dentures out of duct tape and roofing nails.

The Concord Point lighthouse is the oldest continuously operated lighthouse in Maryland, because no one in the state is smart enough to figure out how to operate the light switch.

Maryland was originally populated by confused colonists from Virginia who wandered too far north and got stuck in snowbanks.

Kind of explains the light switch thing, doesn't it?

The highest waterfall in Maryland is Muddy Creek Falls. At 63 feet tall, it's actually large enough for Michael Moore to fit underneath it, unless he's laying on his back.

In 1790 Maryland rounded up all the lawyers in the state and threw them into a fetid swamp near the southern border of the state, now known as Washington, D.C.

The first successful manned hot air balloon launch occurred in Baltimore, Maryland in 1784. The pilot - Edward Warren - reportedly described his trip as "a great way to peek down the front of women's dresses."

The state song of Maryland is "Maybe We Should've Killed Those Lawyers Before We Threw Them In That Swamp".

Well, that wraps up the Maryland edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a hot air balloon ride.

___________________
Any requests?

[dwasson]

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless, and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we'll be enjoying a trip to sunny Florida, so let's get started...

Florida became the 27th state on March 3rd, 1845, an event which most of the state's residents recall fondly from their childhoods.

Or WOULD, if it weren't for the Alzheimer's.

The state flag of Florida was eaten by an alligator, so I have no idea what it looks like.

The knee is Florida's official state arthritic joint.

The largest private employer in Florida is Disney World. The second largest is the company that makes "this ride closed for repairs" signs.

After the Presidential election disaster in 2000, Florida passed a law making it illegal to vote without first removing your souvenier Mickey Mouse gloves.

The most common cause of death in Florida is being run over by old women who mistakenly voted for Pat Buchanan.

The second most common is getting run over by '57 Chevys that wash up on Miami Beach from Cuba.

The state bird of Florida is the Pink Flamingo, a feisty animal which is actually capable of killing a fully grown alligator, thanks to Floridas new concealed carry law.

Although most Floridians don't speak with a strong southern accent, they DO tend to pronounce the word "hurricane" as "Oh, SH**!"

Janet Reno was born in Miami, Florida, and only returned to the state because her magic mirror told her that Elian Gonzales was fairer than she.

Twice yearly, Florida is victimized by uncontrollable destructive forces which lay waste to the state. These times are known as "hurricane season" and "spring break".

The state reptile of Florida is the alligator, which subsists on a diet of fish, birds, and Japanese tourists.

The state song of Florida is "Grandpa, Don't Wear That Speedo to the Beach".

If a hurricane strikes while you're in Florida, just hand over your wallet and no one will get hurt.

Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon discovered Florida in 1513 while searching for the legendary Fountain of Orange Juice.

Despite the fact that the temperature never gets below freezing, Florida has a professional ice hockey team, which... nah, no one's gonna believe that one.

People from Florida are easy to spot on the road. They're the ones driving around with sheets of plywood nailed over their car windows.

If you move to Florida, buy a house with a colorful roof so that you can easily find it after it gets blown down the street by a hurricane.

When visiting Seaworld in Orlando, be sure to stop by the restaurant for the "slow learner sandwich" special.

Native Floridians never wear sunglasses because they have a special, inner third eyelid to keep out the sun's harmful rays.

Florida's Disney World is technically in a state of war with California's Disneyland, and the two theme parks exchange nuclear strikes several times a year.

The University of Florida's football team is named the Gators in honor of the millions of alligators milked each year to make Gatorade.

Neil Smith of Montverde, Florida, invented the riding lawn mower in 1933, adding to the list of useful things that Floridians could have blown away during a hurricane.

The state tree of Florida is the Palm Tree - so named because that's the part of your body that will be sc***** raw if you try to climb it.

While in Florida, NEVER try to climb any sort of nut tree.

The Everglades in Florida is 2100 square miles of smelly, oozing, mosquito-infested muck. Most Florida natives still refer to it by its original name the "The Cesspool National Park".

Passing the test for a driver's license in Florida requires that you be able to make a right turn from the left lane across 3 lanes of traffic. Or so I assume from what I saw last time I was there.

Despite rumors to the contrary, "Florida oysters" is NOT a euphemism for boiled alligator testicles.

However, eating Florida oysters WILL cause you to grow a special, inner third eyelid.

The state flower of Florida is the Orange Blossom, which is a small, white flower with an insatiable hunger for human flesh.

The refrigerator was invented in Florida in 1921. This represented a great technological leap forward, as now Floridians had a place to store their melted ice cream when the power went out.

That wraps up the Florida edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go milk me some fresh Gatorade.

[mr.continental]

Michigan sucks soooo bad, it keeps Ohio from sliding into the Ohio River :D

KillJoy

PS - GO BUCKS!!

The one thing I always noticed about Ohio, as soon you cross the border it instantly begins to smell.

[supa_carrot]

You forgot, simply the best state in the nation, by far. It is a widely known fact, and not just across the Bluegrass.

[gdmjoe]

Ommmm ... Ohio really isn't a state; it's just what you have to drive through to get to where you're going. http://www.geocities.com/gdmjoe/evil.gif

[glassman99]

It's got a fotoball team

[RoNiN77]

Kentucky is where they invented the toothpick. If toothpicks were invented anywhere else, they'd be called 'teethpicks'. I can hear you laughing.

[glassman99]

Kentucky plays football, they just don't win.

[glassman99]

It ain't Georgia

[glassman99]

It ain't Georgia

[glassman99]

It ain't Georgia.

[Joe Walsh]

Great Stuff!!!

Love the Backbone Mountain trivia!...:lol:

By the way: That 'fetid swamp' keeps trying to rejoin the great State of Maryland, from which it was carved, but we are smart enough to graciously refuse!

[CRUZTAKER]

Kentucky plays football, they just don't win.

It ain't Georgia.

[CRUZTAKER]

But we're gettin' close.:P

[CRUZTAKER]

It's got a fotoball team

:baaa:

Yeah we do. :puke:

[TAF]

It's got a fotoball team


Too bad Georgia doesn't :lol:

How 'bout them VOLS there Steve??!!

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/showcase/files/8/3/VOLS.JPG

[GreekGod]

There are no natural lakes in Ohio, only man-made. Q.Know why none of the State Police in Ohio are circumcised? A.There's no end to those pricks!

[dwasson]

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it's time to eat a peach in honor of Georgia, so let's get started...

Georgia became the 4th state on January 2nd, 1788, and its citizens commemorate this day each year by shooting British people with muskets.

Contrary to popular myth, not everyone who lives in Georgia is a redneck. There's plenty of toothless, moonshine-swilling hillbillies, too.

Coca-Cola was invented in Atlanta, Georgia in 1886. The original formula has changed since then, and the drink no longer contains actual cocaine or the blood of virgins.

"Georgia" is a Cherokee Indian word meaning, "Are those rednecks or hillbillies?"

Despite the way natives pronounce the state's name, "Jawjah" is NOT spelled with a W.

Unlike the word "dawg".

Since it almost never snows in Georgia, children there spend winters having cotton ball fights.

While having a cotton ball fight, it's considered cheating to stuff a peach pit in the cotton.

In Georgia, everything is made out of cotton. Except the peaches, which are made out of okra.

Atlanta, Georgia has the worst traffic of any city in the US, since every street in the city is named "Peachtree Road".

The last time it snowed in Georgia, the confused natives thought it was ash from the Yankees burning Atlanta again.

The state motto of Georgia is "Wisdom, Justice, Moderation.", which replaced the old motto of "Whiskey, Hookers, NASCAR."

In Georgia, every soft drink is referred to as "Coke". Except for Pepsi, which is referred to as "Damn Yankee Poison".

After Jimmy Carter left the presidency in 1981, he returned to his home town of Plains, Georgia and went on a bloody shooting rampage.

Wait... I meant to say "worked for Habitat for Humanity". Must've been a typo.

The only way to get to Florida from Georgia is by sea, since the Georgia-Florida border is guarded by landmines and alligators.

The Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Georgia celebrates the careers of all the talented musicians who were born in Georgia, and is currently empty.

They WERE going to put in a Ray Charles exhibit, but they figured there was no point, since he wouldn't see it anyway.

Saint Marys, Georgia is the second-oldest city in the US, and will soon be moving to Florida to retire.

If it can make it past the landmines and alligators, that is.

The state fish of Georgia is the largemouth bass, which shouldn't be confused with the much more common loudmouth drunk.

The name of Georgia's largest swamp, the Okefenokee, comes from a Shawnee Indian word meaning "I'd rather live in a swamp than eat okra".

Georgia was originally populated by settlers from England and drunk people from Alabama who couldn't find their way home.

The Governor's mansion in Georgia is the only quadruple-wide trailer in America.

Some people are offended by the fact that three Confederate leaders are carved into the side of Georgia's Stone Mountain. Other people figure it's ok, since the back ends of the horses point north.

Between 2001 and 2003, the state flag of Georgia was changed 3 times. The latest version consists of a white background with black lettering that says "YOUR DESIGN HERE: $50"

In Georgia, it's considered ungentlemanly to stare at a woman's breasts while talking to her. Unless she's REALLY hot.

In the year 2227, Dr. Leonard McCoy will be born in Atlanta, Georgia and will go on to become Chief Medical Officer of the USS Enterprise. If you already knew this, then you're a pathetic nerd who will never kiss a girl.

The most common cause of death in Georgia is getting murdered in a fight over the proper way to pronounce the word "pecan".

Georgia is the state most likely to be invaded by Jane Fonda and have its peanut oil stolen to power her tour bus.

The official state prepared food of Georgia is grits, which consists of coarsely ground bits of corn and shouldn't be confused with hog slop, which is made from coarsely ground bits of corn.

Although Georgia is already America's #1 grower of peanuts, farmers there are already working on developing a "super-peanut" which will be twice as large and shoot laser beams out of it's eyes.

They hope to use it to stop Jane Fonda.

That wraps up the Georgia edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go murder someone who said "PEE-can"

[dwasson]

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless, and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, grab your surfboard because we're headed to the shores of sunny California, so let's get started...

California is a large state on the western coast of the US which is inhabited by people who snuck into the state and live off the hard-earned money of the working class, or, as the locals refer to them, actors.

The main export of California is fine wine, which is quite similar to French wine, except that it's less cowardly and annoying.

California was originally part of Mexico, and many of its cities still have Mexican names, like Los Angeles, which means "City of Beating up Rodney King"

California requires that all cars sold in the state run on a special environmentally friendly fuel composed of 50% gasoline and 50% tofu.

California used to be covered by thick forests of giant redwood trees, but these have all been cut down to make nightsticks for beating black motorists.

The state motto of California is "Eureka!", a Greek word meaning "Dude!"

More turkeys are raised in California than in any other state, and most of them get released from Hollywood during the summer.

Californians can be easily identified by their deep, golden tans and fake green cards.

California experiences 500,000 detectable seismic tremors every year. Coincidentally, that's the same number of steps taken annually by Michael Moore during his trips to the refrigerator.

The average earthquake in California only lasts about 10 seconds. Coincidentally, that's the same amount of time between the beginning of a typical Michael Moore movie and the time someone yells, "THIS SUCKS!"

The state animal of California is the Grizzly Bear, which, sadly, has been hunted to near extinction by roving hordes of the undead who feast on their tender brains.

MMMM... braaaaaaainsssss...

California recently legalized the use of marijuana for medicinal purposes. Research is currently underway to investigate any possible healing powers possessed by hookers.

Many cities in California have outlawed the possession of handguns - however mace, pepper spray, and light sabers are still perfectly legal for self-defense.

You do, however, need a special permit to use force lightning.

San Francisco, has a large, free-spirited population of homosexuals, most of whom are safely confined to a gulag on Castro Street.

Clint Eastwood retired from acting to become the Mayor of Carmel, California, where he spends his days sipping whiskey and pistol-whipping Mexicans.

California is impervious to terrorist attacks because the noxious fumes from the hippies quickly render them unconscious.

Even though it's only a single state, California has the 7th largest economy in the world, 90% of which comes from the sale of breast implants.

Arnold Schwarzeneggar won California's special recall election in 2003 by running on the slogan of "I will crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation of the girly men!"

California produces 17 million gallons of wine each year, which is enough to get Mike Poore drunk 340 million times... if Mike were the kind of froo-froo sissy-pants who actually drank wine, that is.

Fallbrook, California is known the Avacado Capital of the World, a fact about which nobody outside the city gives a damn.

California became the 31st state on September 9th 1850 after winning it's independence from Mexico by defeating them in a brutal game of tiddlywinks.

California is famous for it's many elite golf courses, including Palm Springs, Pebble Beach, and No Blacks or Women.

In 1906, the city of San Francisco was razed to the ground by fires and earthquakes. Fortunately the local homosexual population was able to Queer Eye it back together in a matter of days.

The major newspaper in the San Francisco Bay Area is the San Francisco Chronicle, renowned as the only newspaper to get more facts wrong than the New York Times.

California's high-tech industry relies on a huge population of migrant workers to harvest the silicon grown here.

The first person to receive a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame was Joanne Woodward in 1960. The last person was SpongeBob Squarepants.

Pauley Shore is still waiting.

Ronald Reagan was elected to two terms as Governor of California in exchange for his promise not to make a sequel to "Bedtime for Bonzo".

That wraps up the California edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go watch a Michael Moore Movie... THIS SUCKS!

[dwasson]

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting - yet completely useless, and probably untrue - information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we're taking a trip to the state that habitually refers to Canada as "our neighbor to the west" - New York. So let's get started...

New York became the 11th state on July 26th, 1788 and was originally called New Amsterdam. Before the final name change, it was variously known as Not New Jersey, Whaddyalookinat, and Hookerland.

New York City's most famous landmark, the Statue of Liberty, is constructed out of copper and eventually turned green due to pollution from coal burning factories. If you sc***** off the corrosion, you'd find that the statue was actually pink, completely naked, and originally titled "The Statue of Yowza!"

Vassar College, in Poughkeepsie, New York, was orginally founded as a women's college in 1861. Its motto is "Where women go to feel smart between evenings of drunken table dancing".

The 1969, the Woodstock Music Festival was held on Max Yasgur's farm in Bethel, New York. It reportedly took Mr. Yasgur over 2 years to get that hippie smell out of his manure pit.

Dairy farming is New York's #1 agricultural activity. The state's 18,000 dairy farms have a milk-producing capacity nearly that of Dolly Parton.

In 1807, the world's first steamboat, the Clermont, made its maiden voyage between New York City and Albany. It was during this trip that the phrase "are we there, yet?" was first coined.

The state tree of New York is the billboard

In 1899, the Kosher wine industry was started by Sam Shapiro in New York City. Before that, Jews drank nothing but the fermented blood of Palestinian babies. Or so I've heard.

New York City has 722 miles of subway track. Most of it heavily stained with wino vomit.

"Wizard of Oz" author L. Frank Baum was born in Chittenago, New York. His famous tale was loosely based on the lives of Al and Tipper Gore, as most great American stories are.

The New York Post - founded in 1803 by Alexander Hamilton - is America's oldest continually-published newspaper. Its first headline was "Jefferson Has No Exit Strategy For Barbary Coast Pirate Quagmire".

John Babcock of New York City invented the stationary rowing machine in 1869 as a less-smelly alternative to the then-popular exercise fad of riding a dead horse.

The first railroad in America ran the 11 miles between Albany and Schenectady, NY. The slow, primitive train ride carried few passengers, since riding a dead horse between the towns was nearly as fast.

New York City was the first capital of the United States. George Washington took his oath of office there in 1789, beginning the city's long and cherished tradition of gullibly trusting lying politicians.

Every November, New York City's Empire State Building plays host to the Boy Scouts' annual Urban Camp-out, allowing scouts to earn the elusive Drunk Rolling and Crack Procurement merit badges.

During the war of 1812, meatpacker Sam Wilson of Troy, New York, stamped "U.S. Beef" on the products he sent to the troops. This was popularly interpreted as - and began the legend of - Uncle Sam, although the letters actually stood for "urine soaked".

Don't make that face at me. Urine contains a plethora of natural preservatives.

Actor Humphrey Bogart was born in New York City in 1899. Little known fact - in the movie "Casablanca", he never said "Play it again, Sam." What he actually said was "AOL sends spam", one of the most prescient lines in cinematic history.

Jell-O was invented in Rochester, New York in 1897. Mostly as a way to help dispose of the mountains of dead horses that people didn't ride any more.

Marshmallows were also invented in Rochester. They stopped being manufactured there in 1984 after the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man destroyed the city.

For obvious reasons, bumper-to-bumper warranties for cars sold in New York City do NOT cover the horn.

Gennaro Lombardi opened America's first pizzeria in New York City in 1895. Slices of the original pie are still being sold there today, or at least that's what it tastes like.

Locals don't complain about it, though, since New Yorkers wouldn't know good pizza if it jumped up and stuffed their noses full of pepperoni.

On July 28th, 1945, a B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building. The pilot wasn't Muslim, just really stupid, which isn't technically the same thing.

Joseph C. Gayetty of New York City introduced toilet paper to the world in 1857, causing sales of The New York Times to plummet.

Camera inventor George Eastman was born in Waterville, NY in 1854. His device was second only to the creation of the internet in revolutionizing the pornography industry.

The Erie Canal was built in New York, which proved that you could get a decent day's labor out of the Irish, provided you convinced them that all their whiskey was buried 'just a little bit further West...'

New York was the first state to require license plates on automobiles, which featured the motto, "Get out of my way, jackass!"

Famed for his numerous, heartwarming Saturday Evening Post covers, painter Norman Rockwell was born in New York City. The secret to his technique was looking out the window of his Hell's Kitchen apartment and then painting the exact opposite of what he saw.

New York City is world-famous for its cultural diversity. While walking even a single block, a tourist can expect to be cursed at in over 40 different languages.

Contrary to the popular myth, local Indians did NOT sell the island of Manhattan for $24 worth of beads and trinkets. It was actually lost during an inexplicable run of bad luck at a Coney Island sidewalk game of 3-Card-Monte.

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That wraps up the New York edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go earn some merit badges.