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Tom Doan
04-12-2007, 04:36 PM
Dear MM.net, some one asked if I would post my notes from China here for your reading fun.
DISCLAIMERS:
1. I am an old China hand and been going there for 20 years, the change is great.
2. These are personal letters to MY friends, not written for you, if you do not like what I wrote, stop reading.
3. I am a white bread, cracker, redneck, hillbilly,bigot, racest, homophobe poorly educated, can't spell, can't type, that made good by working harder than the Chinese for the last 27 years, that built a international company of 160 repairpeople around the world that wanted to work for me because of the way I treat EVERYONE.
4. My hand talent is genetic but it was the military that got my head out out of my ass and showed me the way.
5. I'm a German trained surgical instrument maker, by the best that are dead now, I have a big ego in my field, it aint braging if you can do it.
Now some storys that some friend liked, if you do I have some more for your reading fun. Tom


Dear Gang,
Well the temp is back to 38c everyday, can't see the sun from the
smog so we're back to breathing soup. Got 60 hours of rain from
typhoon "Matsa", I asked my guard Tang if they ever got hit by
typhoons here, "no" was his answer. I had been following the storm
from the nightly news and started to look up the track on the web, and
told him that the weekend looked like a wash to me because this storm
was heading right for us. Friday it was close, and the sky was pretty
with the cloud waves going by every hour and the breeze picking up
which felt good. I am used to the sky filling in and drizzle and the
wind steadily increasing. I was on the phone with Julie from JDM
Engineering when we got slammed with rain and the wind jumped to
60kts. One minute I'm looking at stars and the next sideways rain, and
stayed that way for the duration till Monday morning with a slow
tapering off. A front was blocking the NW track of the storm so it
blew apart on top of us. It really wasn't much, more like a
Nor'easter to every one that lives on the east coast, and the rain was
enough to clean up this delta town. We are 50 miles in land with the
river splitting the city, when the wind blows and it is dry the dust
covers the place and it looks dingy.
I was talking to my dad about typhoons VS hurricanes and the ones he
has been through, the longer fetch of the warm Pacific can get the
winds much higher, but "Matsa"was just a little sneeze.I heard from
Pete Loevinger that Eric his brother is still digging out from the
blow that hit Tallahassee, maybe he has some pics? Drop Pete a note if
you want to see the video clip we made of "Alex" hitting Hatteras with
the highest wind ever recorded north of 35 lat. for a hurricane.
I am still idol here in the "workers paradise", I encourage anyone
that thinks this is the way the USA should be to visit China to see
where you would fit into the grand scheme of things. Resistance is
futile. Any job that can be done by one can be done by many.
Resistance is futile. Your pay is not important, every thing is free.
Resistance is futile. The cradle to grave nanny state is at work
here. Resistance is futile. Have a couple of drinks take some Valium
and then your minds right to become a china man,resistance is futile.
Leadership will get you shot, no leaders, no one can be blamed for
failing. Resistance is futile. I am tired of getting hit for being the
tallest nail, "hey I got an idea" BANG. With no ownership of anything
no one cares about anything. But it is strange
to see what is restricted, and frustrating to use the computer to look
things up. When I look at the MSM news page and try to read the story
many news items are censored. The restrictions are in everyday life
but you overlook them until they apply to you and then I get mad .Talk
about your real commie pinkos, the daily news at 7 pm interrupts all
programing and is leftest to say the least.
My tools have been in customs for 6 weeks now,each week a new
special exception is found, "hey I got an idea" how about you make a
list of all the problems and I clear them up at one time, BANG.
Resistance is futile. Why should I help you when I can show the boss
how good I am at being a slow bureaucrat. I think I'll tell them the
container is full of bird flu vaccine then we'll watch the little
bastards jump.
Held an Engineering meeting this morning about a part I've never
made before, blank expressions looking at me, what are the problems?
Blank expressions, here are 10 ways to make the part, blank
expressions. OK..... hey you little" #$!!%&*!!'s", the Japs make a
better part, now they start a bull session and we make some progress,
Had the same problem at MSI, really have to piss them off to get
something other than what they think you want to hear. Good to be able
to swear in Chinese. My problem with speaking now is everyone teaches
me in a different dialect, so I have not progressed in any one far
enough to make sense to anyone, I should just go to school.
I finally got my AC to work with the help of Tang the guard working
the controlls inside while I leaned out the window and played with the
compressor unit. I ran it all night long and slept better but woke up
to find all the paint on the ceiling cracked, hope it stays up and
doesn't chip off
The Asians must be really thankful for the quality of the US meat at
the Korean Korner market 'cause the stuff I eat is USDA grade Z scrap
junk the wouldn't make it to the pet food market.
The food is good but I am already dreaming of a cheeseburger, there
is very little meat in any dish and have seen 1 chicken leg shredded
so fine as to disappear in a bowl loaded with veggies that was their
way of chicken in garlic sauce. I get the most meat in the morning
eating my dumplings. Lunch cost .40 and is rice with cabbage and your
choice of one scoop of the daily stir fry, most of the time I couldn't
tell you what it is but it is good tasting most of the time. For
dinner one of the young machinist comes over and cooks for the Warden,
Guard and me, he is from Sechwan so the food is hotter than hell. Our
kitchen is the size of our bathroom with a small two burner stove set
up for the wok and everything gets cooked in it, the rice cooker blew
up last night when the cord shorted out, the Guard was pulling the
plug out when it blew with a big blue flash which the Warden thought
was hilarious, but no rice tonight.Here is a repeat of my ShangHai List:

1. It is so hot and steamy that a shower makes you dryer.

2. Coffee and tea do nothing compared to biting your breakfast
dumpling and having hot oil shoot up your nose.

3. The answer to any question asked is yes.

4. All taxi's are required to have the suspensions removed.

5. Just because you are in the correct lane going in the right
direction doesn't mean that some one else can't be in your lane going
in the opposite direction.

6.The left turn arrow means free for all, for all lanes, in all directions.

7. If you think it tastes bad now just wait till we pickle it.

8. If it casts a shadow it is edible.

9. If it tastes good do not ask what it is.

10. The Chinese have better teeth than the British.But not by much.

11. Crime is not permitted, and there is only one punishment,and your
family has to pay the government back for the bullet.

12. All the little kids are cute. Hide your money.

13. Whoever's bumper is one inch ahead of the yours has the right of way.

14. Whoever's bigger has the right of way till there is a coolie on a
peddle trike with no brakes carrying 10 tons of stuff piled 20 feet
high and 20 feet wide with bamboo outriggers with 3 coolies pushing,
he has absolute power and can disregard all traffic lights.

15. You will see something made out of bamboo everyday that is new to you.

16. The fastest way to lose weight is to have eaten "something bad".

17. The best beer is .75 cents for 650 ml.

Love to all, TOM

chicago_cop
04-12-2007, 04:53 PM
Dear MM.net, some one asked if I would post my notes from China here for your reading fun.
DISCLAIMERS:
1. I am an old China hand and been going there for 20 years, the change is great.
2. These are personal letters to MY friends, not written for you, if you do not like what I wrote, stop reading.
3. I am a white bread, cracker, redneck, hillbilly,bigot, racest, homophobe poorly educated, can't spell, can't type, that made good by working harder than the Chinese for the last 27 years, that built a international company of 160 repairpeople around the world that wanted to work for me because of the way I treat EVERYONE.
4. My hand talent is genetic but it was the military that got my head out out of my ass and showed me the way.
5. I'm a German trained surgical instrument maker, by the best that are dead now, I have a big ego in my field, it aint braging if you can do it.
Now some storys that some friend liked, if you do I have some more for your reading fun. Tom


Dear Gang,
Well the temp is back to 38c everyday, can't see the sun from the
smog so we're back to breathing soup. Got 60 hours of rain from
typhoon "Matsa", I asked my guard Tang if they ever got hit by
typhoons here, "no" was his answer. I had been following the storm
from the nightly news and started to look up the track on the web, and
told him that the weekend looked like a wash to me because this storm
was heading right for us. Friday it was close, and the sky was pretty
with the cloud waves going by every hour and the breeze picking up
which felt good. I am used to the sky filling in and drizzle and the
wind steadily increasing. I was on the phone with Julie from JDM
Engineering when we got slammed with rain and the wind jumped to
60kts. One minute I'm looking at stars and the next sideways rain, and
stayed that way for the duration till Monday morning with a slow
tapering off. A front was blocking the NW track of the storm so it
blew apart on top of us. It really wasn't much, more like a
Nor'easter to every one that lives on the east coast, and the rain was
enough to clean up this delta town. We are 50 miles in land with the
river splitting the city, when the wind blows and it is dry the dust
covers the place and it looks dingy.
I was talking to my dad about typhoons VS hurricanes and the ones he
has been through, the longer fetch of the warm Pacific can get the
winds much higher, but "Matsa"was just a little sneeze.I heard from
Pete Loevinger that Eric his brother is still digging out from the
blow that hit Tallahassee, maybe he has some pics? Drop Pete a note if
you want to see the video clip we made of "Alex" hitting Hatteras with
the highest wind ever recorded north of 35 lat. for a hurricane.
I am still idol here in the "workers paradise", I encourage anyone
that thinks this is the way the USA should be to visit China to see
where you would fit into the grand scheme of things. Resistance is
futile. Any job that can be done by one can be done by many.
Resistance is futile. Your pay is not important, every thing is free.
Resistance is futile. The cradle to grave nanny state is at work
here. Resistance is futile. Have a couple of drinks take some Valium
and then your minds right to become a china man,resistance is futile.
Leadership will get you shot, no leaders, no one can be blamed for
failing. Resistance is futile. I am tired of getting hit for being the
tallest nail, "hey I got an idea" BANG. With no ownership of anything
no one cares about anything. But it is strange
to see what is restricted, and frustrating to use the computer to look
things up. When I look at the MSM news page and try to read the story
many news items are censored. The restrictions are in everyday life
but you overlook them until they apply to you and then I get mad .Talk
about your real commie pinkos, the daily news at 7 pm interrupts all
programing and is leftest to say the least.
My tools have been in customs for 6 weeks now,each week a new
special exception is found, "hey I got an idea" how about you make a
list of all the problems and I clear them up at one time, BANG.
Resistance is futile. Why should I help you when I can show the boss
how good I am at being a slow bureaucrat. I think I'll tell them the
container is full of bird flu vaccine then we'll watch the little
bastards jump.
Held an Engineering meeting this morning about a part I've never
made before, blank expressions looking at me, what are the problems?
Blank expressions, here are 10 ways to make the part, blank
expressions. OK..... hey you little" #$!!%&*!!'s", the Japs make a
better part, now they start a bull session and we make some progress,
Had the same problem at MSI, really have to piss them off to get
something other than what they think you want to hear. Good to be able
to swear in Chinese. My problem with speaking now is everyone teaches
me in a different dialect, so I have not progressed in any one far
enough to make sense to anyone, I should just go to school.
I finally got my AC to work with the help of Tang the guard working
the controlls inside while I leaned out the window and played with the
compressor unit. I ran it all night long and slept better but woke up
to find all the paint on the ceiling cracked, hope it stays up and
doesn't chip off
The Asians must be really thankful for the quality of the US meat at
the Korean Korner market 'cause the stuff I eat is USDA grade Z scrap
junk the wouldn't make it to the pet food market.
The food is good but I am already dreaming of a cheeseburger, there
is very little meat in any dish and have seen 1 chicken leg shredded
so fine as to disappear in a bowl loaded with veggies that was their
way of chicken in garlic sauce. I get the most meat in the morning
eating my dumplings. Lunch cost .40 and is rice with cabbage and your
choice of one scoop of the daily stir fry, most of the time I couldn't
tell you what it is but it is good tasting most of the time. For
dinner one of the young machinist comes over and cooks for the Warden,
Guard and me, he is from Sechwan so the food is hotter than hell. Our
kitchen is the size of our bathroom with a small two burner stove set
up for the wok and everything gets cooked in it, the rice cooker blew
up last night when the cord shorted out, the Guard was pulling the
plug out when it blew with a big blue flash which the Warden thought
was hilarious, but no rice tonight.Here is a repeat of my ShangHai List:

1. It is so hot and steamy that a shower makes you dryer.

2. Coffee and tea do nothing compared to biting your breakfast
dumpling and having hot oil shoot up your nose.

3. The answer to any question asked is yes.

4. All taxi's are required to have the suspensions removed.

5. Just because you are in the correct lane going in the right
direction doesn't mean that some one else can't be in your lane going
in the opposite direction.

6.The left turn arrow means free for all, for all lanes, in all directions.

7. If you think it tastes bad now just wait till we pickle it.

8. If it casts a shadow it is edible.

9. If it tastes good do not ask what it is.

10. The Chinese have better teeth than the British.But not by much.

11. Crime is not permitted, and there is only one punishment,and your
family has to pay the government back for the bullet.

12. All the little kids are cute. Hide your money.

13. Whoever's bumper is one inch ahead of the yours has the right of way.

14. Whoever's bigger has the right of way till there is a coolie on a
peddle trike with no brakes carrying 10 tons of stuff piled 20 feet
high and 20 feet wide with bamboo outriggers with 3 coolies pushing,
he has absolute power and can disregard all traffic lights.

15. You will see something made out of bamboo everyday that is new to you.

16. The fastest way to lose weight is to have eaten "something bad".

17. The best beer is .75 cents for 650 ml.

Love to all, TOM

Very Funny. I can relate. spent many months in Beijing, and some in Shanghi. I especially like caterpilar Fungus, and Duck feet. I also like the old Audi's with the big red wave for a hood ornaments that were made there.