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View Full Version : Shanghai blab No.2



Tom Doan
04-13-2007, 06:54 AM
Please read disclaimer in the blab No. 1 before starting this one.

Dear Gang,
Thank you for the messages, they are my link to the home land. Now
to answer some questions you have asked. I am doing much of the same
thing that MSI did but this is a better managed group and the boss man
is a technician and we have a herd of engineers, instead of repairs we
are manufacturing the total endoscopy system from light source to the
objective lens.
No I have not lost any weight, I have gotten fatter, the high carb
and starch diet along with the beer is the norm here, even when I am
stuffed I am hungry in 4 hours, it is the same for everyone here. I
lost weight like I was hooked to a vacuum cleaner when I was sick.
They tell me the water is OK but after running my reverse osmosis
water filter at work and looking at the filters I will not have ice or
drink the water, it smells moldy. The beer is the same price as soda
or bottled water so you know I'm sticking with the beer, TsingTao is
50 cents for 700ml and is the best German beer around. I drink tea all
day and there is no Bourbon so beer is it. Please do not send me
anything that can't go in an envelope, customs is a nightmare.

DOCTOR, HEAL THY SELF....
Last week I'm eating ShangHai fish heads, the cities favorite dish,(
it's the front half of the fish so there is more than just the head),
when I get a bone stuck in my throat, I cough it up and it has impaled
my adenoid on one side and jabbing my eustachian tube on the other and
I can't get it to move. I ask Tang (my guard) what to do and he says
no problem, just snort some vinegar till the bone dissolves....let me
tell you how to be wide awake when need be, kinda like too much wasabi
on your last piece of sushi. So now a week later I have a sinus
infection and am taking Amoxicillin which is a common situation for
me.
Everyone here is concerned about White Devils well being, Tang
wants me to go to a hospital to get scoped and see my innerds, there
are 151 hospitals to choose from, now to find one that has a
sinuscope.... I smile and ask him where can we might find a rigid
arthroscope........ He looks at me with the smirk of enlightenment, we
are the dumbest bunnies to come down the pike, WE WORK IN A ENDOSCOPE
FACTORY. Next week coming to an e-mail down load to you, "Fantastic
Voyage" up Tom's nose.

HE'S GANNON, I'M JOE FRIDAY

I have been patient, filling out my special exception customs forms
and waiting each week for THE CALL. I asked the executive secretary do
you think I could go and see the shipping container that holds my
tools? "Why not, no harm in looking" she said, an afternoon of phone
calls and the inspection was set for the next morning. Call me a
little kid on Chrismas Eve, I had trouble sleeping, the customs people
had me conditioned and right where they wanted my mind, we controll
your fate.
First stop our customs broker, three hours of document review, felt
like I was refinancing my house, no sweat, next stop customs. Get to
the bonded compound, my eyes pop out, the building next to it is huge
and says Nordson Powder Coating. People the commies have pulled my
butt through the knot hole backwards over my Nordson powder coating
equipment I'm bringing in, since February every week they have
reqested all information on this stuff, advertising, catalog
descriptions, specs, usage descriptions, prior customers, importation
documents from other companies, it got so bad I was recycling paper
work already submitted because I was out of new info for them. I
grabbed the customs group and said we are going to pay a visit to
Nordson NOW! No no, can not drop in on a company unannounced in China
they said, BS I replied, this is an American company and they are
going to buy us lunch and be happy for the pleasure, your going to see
service after the sale done our way. I know how this company works
after 20 years of dealing with them. I told the receptionist that the
container out the window had 20k worth of their equipment in it, boom,
we are in like Flynn, with lunch and a full lab demo for the
unknowing.
Next it was inside the compound, the only container sitting there
was mine, sit down with an inch of paper work and the sign off book,
the officials come in full of authority and review their section and I
see the big red chop of the inspectors sign off, "This is completed,
not my problem" see next man, so It went. I looked through the book
and saw page after page of signed off inspectors, I knew how it was
going to end, after 9 inspectors had been through the paper work every
thing was ready for the Grand Pooba and had been ready for weeks. I
was a victim of "nobodies fault, welcome to workers paradise". More
phone calls and my hopes are high , I'm going to get my stuff today.
My fault for for not *****ing enough.
Enter the gods, in full regalia, a nice old man, (good cop), mean
young guy, (bad cop). Old man seaks little English, starts reviewing
the list and says time to open the box, every thing gets spread out on
the floor in a mixed up mess, and the command for all to stand on one
side and move and touch a box only on command. Mean cop is calling out
stuff he wants to see and inspect, any double talk and he holds up his
hand to stop and we start again. I can tell the Chinese don't like him
and he is busting their butts. I find all that is asked for and in two
hours they are satisfied and they like my equipment, it is back to the
office, we are dripping.
They sign the paper work, page by page, then bad cop gives me the
thumbs up, smiles and says in perfect English " If you would learn to
speak Chinese , you will make a million dollars, you have good
equitment and a good idea", I am stunned ,the whole time the guy was
listening to me to see if we are trying to pull a fast one on them.

Next Episode: ShangHai Chicken


Love to all, Tom