Your computer skills.....

[gonzo50]

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
If you skip any, you have to read the last one!
Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!




============================== ===

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...
===============



Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....


===============


Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


===============


Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


===============


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


============== =


Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


===============


Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.


===============


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK !
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


===============


Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?


== =============


Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.


===============


Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


===============


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


===============


Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


===============


A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."


===============


And last but not least.......

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

[Mad4Macs]

If you go here (with my log in);

http://www.csd.toshiba.com/cgi-bin/tais/su/su_sc_domLog.jsp

Here (with my log in);
http://warrantypartsdirect.dell.com/us/Program/index.asp

Here (with my log in)
https://h20198.www2.hp.com/us/

Or Sony... or IBM (now Lenovo) or Gateway or eMachine and a few others...
you might, eventually, wonder why I only own Apple Macs

[MM2004]

I believe it.

Supporting 210 people; it is never a dull moment.

Mike.

[Mad4Macs]

That's what amazes me the most....
People whine that a Mac costs (on average) $50-$100 more than a low end PC... yet in Michigan, we have THREE TECHS supporting EIGHT THOUSAND MACS.
In Texas???
ONE TECH IN HOUSTON
ONE TECH IN SAN ANTONIO
ONE TECH IN AUSTIN and
ONE TECH IN BRYAN/COLLEGE STATION.
We also support PC clones in these markets... and it takes 3 to 5 TIMES the same support staff.
Care to guess whether a Dell costs less than an Apple now?
Not at our salaries ;)
Me, I quit caring years ago. Those who certify BOTH platforms go Mac. Those that only know Windows... choose Windows. And make my company rich.
:lol:

[Local Boy]

Now thats really funny! Especially the last one. Thanks for the laugh.

[BK_GrandMarquis]

I just had someone last week come to me and asked why the wireless wasn't working.

I asked her if she has wireless at home or has the security settings set on the laptop.

She asked "What's that? My boss said you can use it anywhere. Just turn it on and it will connect." :eek: :mad2:

He supposed to use the laptop every once in awhile but it needed about 50 Windows patches. :mad: :shake:

[dwasson]

Tech support people all know that the "L" in user is silent.

[GreekGod]

If you go here (with my log in);

http://www.csd.toshiba.com/cgi-bin/tais/su/su_sc_domLog.jsp

Here (with my log in);
http://warrantypartsdirect.dell.com/us/Program/index.asp

Here (with my log in)
https://h20198.www2.hp.com/us/

Or Sony... or IBM (now Lenovo) or Gateway or eMachine and a few others...
you might, eventually, wonder why I only own Apple Macs

I tried to log in with your log in "Mad4Macs" and got this message:

Login was not successful. Please try again.

So, I need your password to log in!

[Mad4Macs]

I tried to log in with your log in "Mad4Macs" and got this message:

Login was not successful. Please try again.

So, I need your password to log in!

Hell, even I rely on Mac OS X's Keychain to remember all that crap ;)

[GreekGod]

Hell, even I rely on Mac OS X's Keychain to remember all that crap ;)

Well, I wish I knew how to use "keychain" on my Mac! I never heard of it. Must be an auto-fill?

[BruteForce]

never mind. better to leave it alone.

[MM2004]

I told a problem user their machine had the "ID-Ten-T" error, and needed their machine for a few hours to fix it.

:D

Mike.

[KillJoy]

I told a problem user their machine had the "ID-Ten-T" error, and needed their machine for a few hours to fix it.

:D

Mike.


DOH!!!

Stupid users keep me employeed ;)

Think about it.

KillJoy

[magindat]

I told a problem user their machine had the "ID-Ten-T" error, and needed their machine for a few hours to fix it.

:D

Mike.

Is that anything like a keyboard-chair interface error?

I've got about 200, as well. I have a few who I have to remote periodiaclly so that I can spell/type their own name for them.

[magindat]

Tech support people all know that the "L" in user is silent.

That's the best one ever!!!!

[GreekGod]

If you go here (with my log in);

http://www.csd.toshiba.com/cgi-bin/tais/su/su_sc_domLog.jsp

Here (with my log in);
http://warrantypartsdirect.dell.com/us/Program/index.asp

Here (with my log in)
https://h20198.www2.hp.com/us/

Or Sony... or IBM (now Lenovo) or Gateway or eMachine and a few others...
you might, eventually, wonder why I only own Apple Macs

Still waiting for your password so I can use your login.

[Hotrauder]

You young bastages may forget that a great many folks who are using computer equipment felt that they were high tech when taugh touch typing on manual typewriters. A lot of us will never get the level that you folks had in jr. high school. That and the Vidio Professor is a money grubbing crook who will never have a useful, beyond start button program and will never ever stop sending lessons(?) and billing for them. A small time Time-Life scammer:stupid: IMHO. dennis

[dwasson]

It is so cool to be called young again.