CBT
06-08-2007, 05:43 PM
LOS ANGELES, California -- Paris Hilton was sent back to jail today, the judge who put her in jail for violating her reckless-driving probation ordered her back into custody after she was released by Sheriff Lee "Thunderpants" Baca.
The Office of Lee Baca stated that Pairs Hilton did visit the Sheriff after midnight on Wednesday, but also stated the sexual encounter that followed was "in no way related to her release, and Thunderpants is a nickname she bestows on all her male aquantinces."
Realizing he had missed important T.V. coverage when Paris was first sent to jail, the Rev. Al Sharpton arrived and announced "I'm Rev. Al Sharpton, and I have arrived." Upon being informed that Paris was white, he shouted "Guilty! Sharpton, out.", over his shoulder as he left.
While Paris' aroma therapist and dog masseuse was telling the crowd of Paris' medical conditions (which included 'acute home sickness' and 'nervous flatulance') a scuffle broke out between what appeared to be 2 female corrections officers arguing about who gets to conduct the body cavity search this time. Onlookers were shocked and disgusted as the 2 women tore each others clothes off in the fight, revealing them to be Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres.
"I havn't seen this many people throw up at once since someone yelled 'Lunch is over!' backstage at a Victoria Secrets lingerie shoot.", said Dirk 'Thunderpants' Snodgrass.
The Office of Lee Baca stated that Pairs Hilton did visit the Sheriff after midnight on Wednesday, but also stated the sexual encounter that followed was "in no way related to her release, and Thunderpants is a nickname she bestows on all her male aquantinces."
Realizing he had missed important T.V. coverage when Paris was first sent to jail, the Rev. Al Sharpton arrived and announced "I'm Rev. Al Sharpton, and I have arrived." Upon being informed that Paris was white, he shouted "Guilty! Sharpton, out.", over his shoulder as he left.
While Paris' aroma therapist and dog masseuse was telling the crowd of Paris' medical conditions (which included 'acute home sickness' and 'nervous flatulance') a scuffle broke out between what appeared to be 2 female corrections officers arguing about who gets to conduct the body cavity search this time. Onlookers were shocked and disgusted as the 2 women tore each others clothes off in the fight, revealing them to be Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres.
"I havn't seen this many people throw up at once since someone yelled 'Lunch is over!' backstage at a Victoria Secrets lingerie shoot.", said Dirk 'Thunderpants' Snodgrass.