CBT
06-14-2007, 08:55 PM
(Detroit) - In a last ditch attempt to revamp thier public image and revitalize thier sagging, droopy, lop-sided and wrinkly sales, Bill Ford announced stunning changes at FoMoCo.
"I asked the employees to submit new vehicle names and I would pick the best ones", said Bill. "Unfortunately, I was so stoned I didn't realize I was asking the employees of a Denny's at 3 a.m., but I'm a man of my word so it looks like our new line up will include a new SUV, the Lincoln Airbiscuit, a new sub-sub compact, the Ford Brefas Sampler, and a retro-Econoline van, the Orgasmatron."
As outrageous as that sounds, the shake up in the Boardroom is equally shocking. Said Bill, "In my 'top down' management approach, the Board of Directors, BOD for short, is now two people. Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba. In further keeping with my 'top down' approach, they will appear at all show rooms 'top down'. Cha-CHING! Also, Quinten Tarrantino will be making all our commercials from now on."
Asked if there was any truth to the rumor that the Marauder was being brought back, Bill "Thunderpants" Ford had this to say, "Yes, it is true, but it will only be offered as a 2 door convertible, with the same engine as the new Shelby Cobra KR. We are going with truly space aged technology in the manufacturing this time. One thing we will be using is 'blame retardant' paint. Basically, anytime you are in an accident or pulled over for speeding, it will never be your fault. Ever. I think it will sell."
So do we Bill, so do we.:beatnik:
"I asked the employees to submit new vehicle names and I would pick the best ones", said Bill. "Unfortunately, I was so stoned I didn't realize I was asking the employees of a Denny's at 3 a.m., but I'm a man of my word so it looks like our new line up will include a new SUV, the Lincoln Airbiscuit, a new sub-sub compact, the Ford Brefas Sampler, and a retro-Econoline van, the Orgasmatron."
As outrageous as that sounds, the shake up in the Boardroom is equally shocking. Said Bill, "In my 'top down' management approach, the Board of Directors, BOD for short, is now two people. Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba. In further keeping with my 'top down' approach, they will appear at all show rooms 'top down'. Cha-CHING! Also, Quinten Tarrantino will be making all our commercials from now on."
Asked if there was any truth to the rumor that the Marauder was being brought back, Bill "Thunderpants" Ford had this to say, "Yes, it is true, but it will only be offered as a 2 door convertible, with the same engine as the new Shelby Cobra KR. We are going with truly space aged technology in the manufacturing this time. One thing we will be using is 'blame retardant' paint. Basically, anytime you are in an accident or pulled over for speeding, it will never be your fault. Ever. I think it will sell."
So do we Bill, so do we.:beatnik: