CBT
06-18-2007, 09:46 PM
Washington (CBT) - Gunfire erupted today around the White House as thousands of bird watchers and duck hunters clashed.
The two groups had gathered after hearing that an ellusive 'lame duck', last seen around 1860, was nesting in the White House.
"It was total mayhem.", said Richard "Swallow" Offtens, a member of the North American Man/Bird Lovers Association. "We were all trying to find the most advantageous spot for the viewing and these duck hunters with thier long barreled weapons just started man handling us out of the way. Knocked my Kashi bar right out of my limp wristed hand."
"That's a bald faced lie", said Billy Ray "Thunderpants" Joe Bob Jones from his duck blind in the middle of the Reflecting Pool, "one o' them fruitloops started swingin thier bi-nocklers at one of us, yelling 'AFLACK!' loud as all get out, and tryin to stick granola bars in our gun barrels."
Police are not sure who fired the first shot, or if shots were actually fired.
"We are trying to confirm reports that the "shots" were actually the sound of numerous Volkswagon vans backfiring as the second wave of birdwatchers arrived from the Woodstock chapter of N.A.M./B.L.A."
All seemed to have calmed down, then someone from the birdwatchers yelled "Do you fellas really like duck meat?", and a hunter yelled back "Well Hell yeah", and the birdwatcher grabbed his crotch and said "Then duck down here and get you some!", flaring up the clash again.
More on this as the situation unfolds.
The two groups had gathered after hearing that an ellusive 'lame duck', last seen around 1860, was nesting in the White House.
"It was total mayhem.", said Richard "Swallow" Offtens, a member of the North American Man/Bird Lovers Association. "We were all trying to find the most advantageous spot for the viewing and these duck hunters with thier long barreled weapons just started man handling us out of the way. Knocked my Kashi bar right out of my limp wristed hand."
"That's a bald faced lie", said Billy Ray "Thunderpants" Joe Bob Jones from his duck blind in the middle of the Reflecting Pool, "one o' them fruitloops started swingin thier bi-nocklers at one of us, yelling 'AFLACK!' loud as all get out, and tryin to stick granola bars in our gun barrels."
Police are not sure who fired the first shot, or if shots were actually fired.
"We are trying to confirm reports that the "shots" were actually the sound of numerous Volkswagon vans backfiring as the second wave of birdwatchers arrived from the Woodstock chapter of N.A.M./B.L.A."
All seemed to have calmed down, then someone from the birdwatchers yelled "Do you fellas really like duck meat?", and a hunter yelled back "Well Hell yeah", and the birdwatcher grabbed his crotch and said "Then duck down here and get you some!", flaring up the clash again.
More on this as the situation unfolds.