Hacklemerc
11-02-2007, 12:17 AM
> Some new facts you may not have known about the baddest man on the
> planet.
>
> Some kids p*** their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can p*** his name
> into concrete.
>
> Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck
> Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
>
> Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
>
> Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was
> replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and
> save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
>
> Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
>
> Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
>
> Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm
> escaped and got into the engine.
> We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
>
> If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean
> Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
>
>
> Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
>
> Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating
> pain, the cobra died.
>
> Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the
> possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
>
> Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to
> spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing
> around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
>
> Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck
> Norris will not take sh** from anyone.
>
> Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
>
> Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
>
> When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many
> seconds you have left to live.
>
> If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken
> but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
>
> Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not
> grow on steel.
>
> Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck
> Norris
>
> If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven"
> backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
>
> Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month.
> They bleed for a week as a result.
>
> Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
>
> Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
>
> Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than
> Death can process them.
>
> Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states
> in order to legally wear pants.
>
> Chuck Norris is the only person on the
> planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
>
> Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
>
> Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never
> f**s up.
>
> A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the
> park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly
> killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find
> bigger, better nuts than that.
>
> Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw
> Brett Favre even further.
>
> Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
>
> Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
>
> Chuck Norris keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. Nobody ever
> asks him for his ID.
>
> Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
>
> Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And
> then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Chuck Norris is.
> planet.
>
> Some kids p*** their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can p*** his name
> into concrete.
>
> Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck
> Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
>
> Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
>
> Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was
> replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and
> save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
>
> Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
>
> Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
>
> Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm
> escaped and got into the engine.
> We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
>
> If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean
> Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
>
>
> Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
>
> Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating
> pain, the cobra died.
>
> Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the
> possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
>
> Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to
> spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing
> around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
>
> Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck
> Norris will not take sh** from anyone.
>
> Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
>
> Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
>
> When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many
> seconds you have left to live.
>
> If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken
> but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
>
> Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not
> grow on steel.
>
> Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck
> Norris
>
> If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven"
> backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
>
> Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month.
> They bleed for a week as a result.
>
> Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
>
> Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
>
> Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than
> Death can process them.
>
> Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states
> in order to legally wear pants.
>
> Chuck Norris is the only person on the
> planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
>
> Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
>
> Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never
> f**s up.
>
> A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the
> park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly
> killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find
> bigger, better nuts than that.
>
> Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw
> Brett Favre even further.
>
> Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
>
> Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
>
> Chuck Norris keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. Nobody ever
> asks him for his ID.
>
> Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
>
> Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And
> then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Chuck Norris is.