mm.owner
11-14-2007, 10:55 AM
WHO IS JACK SCHITT
For some time, many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt.
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in a more informed way.
(Maiden names are in parenthesis).
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, a fertilizer magnate and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc., married O. (Mi) Schitt.
They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe (Moore) Schitt.
The couple produced a whole lot of Schitt kids, a brood of six:
the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt,
Giva Schitt,
Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt and
Holie Schitt.
But alas, after being stuck together for 15 years, the Schitt's marriage went down the toilet and in the end, the Schitt's marriage was wiped from the annals of City Hall.
Happily, Noe Schitt later married Sid Sherlock, and because she wanted to keep her previous name, she then became known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Later, Jack supported Albrawno Branze for a seat on the Sewer Council.
The 'Schitt For Branze' committe won a landslide victory, though stained by a sloppy, mud slinging campaign.
Anyway, against his parent's objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb (Bunee) Schitt, a high school dropout.
And Dip Schitt married Loda (Krappe) Schitt, and they produced a little turd of a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Giva Schitt and Fulla Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers, Nuttin and Watt, in a dual ceremony.
The wedding was announced in the newspaper as the 'Schitt-Happens Nuptials'.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Meanwhile, Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to leave his mark on the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa (Asse) Schitt.
Holie Schitt, being a very active little Schitt and seeing what her bigger Schitt's did with their lives, remains single.
She retired from an all female roller derby team, whose roster read, 'Schitt: Kicker'.
She now enjoys competitive skiing and, as one recent headline noted, 'Schitt Flows Downhill'.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
For some time, many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt.
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in a more informed way.
(Maiden names are in parenthesis).
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, a fertilizer magnate and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc., married O. (Mi) Schitt.
They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe (Moore) Schitt.
The couple produced a whole lot of Schitt kids, a brood of six:
the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt,
Giva Schitt,
Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt and
Holie Schitt.
But alas, after being stuck together for 15 years, the Schitt's marriage went down the toilet and in the end, the Schitt's marriage was wiped from the annals of City Hall.
Happily, Noe Schitt later married Sid Sherlock, and because she wanted to keep her previous name, she then became known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Later, Jack supported Albrawno Branze for a seat on the Sewer Council.
The 'Schitt For Branze' committe won a landslide victory, though stained by a sloppy, mud slinging campaign.
Anyway, against his parent's objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb (Bunee) Schitt, a high school dropout.
And Dip Schitt married Loda (Krappe) Schitt, and they produced a little turd of a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Giva Schitt and Fulla Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers, Nuttin and Watt, in a dual ceremony.
The wedding was announced in the newspaper as the 'Schitt-Happens Nuptials'.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Meanwhile, Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to leave his mark on the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa (Asse) Schitt.
Holie Schitt, being a very active little Schitt and seeing what her bigger Schitt's did with their lives, remains single.
She retired from an all female roller derby team, whose roster read, 'Schitt: Kicker'.
She now enjoys competitive skiing and, as one recent headline noted, 'Schitt Flows Downhill'.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt