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View Full Version : Will Chuck Norris Blend?



ckadiddle
01-30-2008, 09:18 AM
http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?type=unsafe&video=chuck

Watch the video to see if Chuck will blend......

jimlam56
01-30-2008, 10:23 AM
Now that right there is funny!

OneBADLsE
01-30-2008, 10:26 AM
:lol: hahahahh!

ts-pa
01-30-2008, 10:31 AM
That is hilarious!

hot-rauder
01-30-2008, 11:10 AM
Its a repost, yet still absolutely hilarious.

BruteForce
01-30-2008, 11:10 AM
Table top wood chipper! :lol:

ckadiddle
01-30-2008, 11:23 AM
I think my favorite was the iphone.

freakstatus
01-30-2008, 11:23 AM
LOL. Who thinks of this stuff??!

Go Mifuni
01-30-2008, 11:27 AM
http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?type=unsafe&video=chuck

Watch the video to see if Chuck will blend......

When Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norris. :D

hot-rauder
01-30-2008, 11:49 AM
When Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norris. :D


> Some new facts you may not have known about the baddest man on the
> planet.
>
> Some kids p*** their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can p*** his name
> into concrete.
>
> Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck
> Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
>
> Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
>
> Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was
> replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and
> save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
>
> Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
>
> Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
>
> Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm
> escaped and got into the engine.
> We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
>
> If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean
> Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
>
>
> Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
>
> Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating
> pain, the cobra died.
>
> Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the
> possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
>
> Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to
> spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing
> around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
>
> Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck
> Norris will not take sh** from anyone.
>
> Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
>
> Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
>
> When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many
> seconds you have left to live.
>
> If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken
>but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
>
> Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not
> grow on steel.
>
> Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck
> Norris
>
> If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven"
> backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
>
> Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month.
> They bleed for a week as a result.
>
> Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
>
> Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
>
> Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than
> Death can process them.
>
> Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states
> in order to legally wear pants.
>
> Chuck Norris is the only person on the
> planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
>
> Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
>
> Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never
> *****s up.
>
> A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the
> park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly
> killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find
> bigger, better nuts than that.
>
> Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw
> Brett Favre even further.
>
> Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
>
> Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
>
> Chuck Norris keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. Nobody ever
> asks him for his ID.
>
> Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
>
> Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And
> then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Chuck Norris is.

ckadiddle
01-30-2008, 12:24 PM
LOL. Who thinks of this stuff??!
They are advertisements for the BlendTec blender line of products. I'd run out and buy one, but they cost as much as Marauder mods. :burnout:

Go Mifuni
01-30-2008, 12:26 PM
> > Chuck Norris is the only person on the
> planet that can kick you in the back of the face.


I can't see my keyboard through the tears!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

God wanted to create the world in ten days, Chuck Norris only gave him six. :D

arejayesss
01-30-2008, 12:30 PM
They are advertisements for the BlendTec blender line of products. I'd run out and buy one, but they cost as much as Marauder mods. :burnout:

If you really want a high quality blender, go with VitaMix. 3 year warranty, mucho HP (we like that) etc.. etc.. Be ready to spend about $400 give or take. Let me know, I'll start taking orders...........oh wait I'm not a supporting vendor, nevermind:o

hot-rauder
01-30-2008, 12:33 PM
I can't see my keyboard through the tears!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

God wanted to create the world in ten days, Chuck Norris only gave him six. :D

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he does not push himself up. He pushes the world down.:D

Chuck Norris sued NBC, apparently he had already copyrighted his right and left leg, "Law& Order".


Kids sleep with Superman Pajamas on. Superman sleeps with Chuck Norris pajamas.

The boogey man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris every night.:D:D

Go Mifuni
01-30-2008, 12:34 PM
If you really want a high quality blender, go with VitaMix. 3 year warranty, mucho HP (we like that) etc.. etc.. Be ready to spend about $400 give or take. Let me know, I'll start taking orders...........oh wait I'm not a supporting vendor, nevermind:o

My wife broke her Vitamix. Broke the spindle right off the shaft. I drilled out the shaft, now I'm trying to locate a reverse-thread tap and bolt to fix it.

hot-rauder
01-30-2008, 12:43 PM
My wife broke her Vitamix. Broke the spindle right off the shaft. I drilled out the shaft, now I'm trying to locate a reverse-thread tap and bolt to fix it.


I'm a machinist. I can probably grab one from the shop, and meet up with you.

Go Mifuni
01-30-2008, 12:52 PM
I'm a machinist. I can probably grab one from the shop, and meet up with you.

That would be great.
It's a 1/4 28, left hand thread. I'll need to borrow a tap too.

hot-rauder
01-30-2008, 12:55 PM
That would be great.
It's a 1/4 28, left hand thread. I'll need to borrow a tap too.

I'm out on Workman's Comp right now, but will be in the shop tomorrow for some design proceduers.... i will see what we have then.

1/4-28 reverse thread. ha! they couldnt make it easy with a 1/4-20(most standard size of all) :P

Go Mifuni
01-30-2008, 12:57 PM
I'm out on Workman's Comp right now, but will be in the shop tomorrow for some design proceduers.... i will see what we have then.

1/4-28 reverse thread. ha! they couldnt make it easy with a 1/4-20(most standard size of all) :P

If it was easy, anyone could do it, right? Chuck could probably do it in his sleep lol.

hot-rauder
01-30-2008, 01:06 PM
If it was easy, anyone could do it, right? Chuck could probably do it in his sleep lol.

chuck norris doesnt sleep, he waits

Go Mifuni
01-30-2008, 02:00 PM
chuck norris doesnt sleep, he waits

While he waits then. :sleepy::eek: lol

Blackened300a
01-30-2008, 03:16 PM
Enough about Chuck Norris!!!

hot-rauder
01-30-2008, 03:19 PM
Enough about Chuck Norris!!!

never enough about chuck norris


http://www.darkplanet.co.uk/yoda/chuck_norris.jpg

Go Mifuni
01-30-2008, 03:27 PM
never enough about chuck norris


http://www.darkplanet.co.uk/yoda/chuck_norris.jpg

I think the beard is a prosthesis. Nice hair though. :D

Go Mifuni
01-30-2008, 03:28 PM
I think the beard is a prosthesis. Nice hair though. :D

Why does Chuck Norris need uzis?

hot-rauder
01-30-2008, 03:40 PM
it provides false hope... they think they can beathim because he ahs uzis... thenwhen he driops them and kicks, well the fight is over.

Chuck Norris does not wear condoms. There is NO protection from Chuck:D

ckadiddle
01-31-2008, 08:13 AM
Chuck doesn't need Uzis. His bulging pectoral muscles have a much higher kill rate than Uzis.

Go Mifuni
01-31-2008, 08:36 AM
Chuck doesn't need Uzis. His bulging pectoral muscles have a much higher kill rate than Uzis.

Who would win in a fight; Chuck Norris' bulging pecs, or Patrick Swayze's firm, uplifting buttocks? :lol:

hot-rauder
02-08-2008, 09:44 AM
Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Chuck Norris". But Chuck Norris was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".

Dinsaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

ts-pa
02-08-2008, 09:50 AM
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Although a very morbid thought, that was funny.

Go Mifuni
02-08-2008, 09:53 AM
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."



:rofl::rofl::rofl:

ckadiddle
02-08-2008, 12:06 PM
Chuck Norris's secret identity is Jack Bauer. On his days off he goes drinking dressed in his Kiefer Sutherland disguise.

crabby125
02-09-2008, 06:37 AM
Chuck Norris doesnt call it sex if the woman survives.

Blk Mamba
02-09-2008, 03:48 PM
Chesty Puller could kick Chuck Norris' Ass!!!!!!!!!!!!

TiTo35
02-14-2008, 07:09 PM
Does Chuck drive a Marauder???

ts-pa
07-05-2008, 03:30 PM
Hey they are on sale at $400 now! What a bargain :)