Best opening line for a story

[Master]

I just heard a story last week that got me thinking: What is the best way to start a story such that the listeners knew it could only get worse?

IE:
"So, I look out the window, and I KNOW I had left the car in park"
or
"Now, remember when I tell you this: a hovercraft doesn't have brakes and the tensile strength of a 12 year old oak tree is..."
or
"Keep in mind, my girlfriend TOLD me she was going to be out of town for the weekend"

Any favourites you would like to share?

[Blk Mamba]

"This is No Sh**", just means it's a lie.

[Master]

Yup. Dead give away.

[MERCMAN]

My personal favorite,,"It was a dark and stormy night". 2nd place? "Zack told me to bring my car over so he could wrench on it".:rofl:

[ChiTownMaraud3r]

^ HAAA, "So keep in mind, Zack TOLD us he was a pro.."

[Blk Mamba]

This is no Sh**

[SC Cheesehead]

This is no Sh**

Redneck version, "Hey, ya'll ain't gonna believe this..."


SCCH

[Aren Jay]

BANG!

What is all this sticky stuff?












(on a side note i just noticed this is my 1987 post. That is the squarefeet of the house I'm looking at (considering buying) tomorrow.

Cool

Maybe a good omen.

[QWK SVT]

One of my friends has a habit of starting stories with: "So, I woke up sleeping on the front lawn, this morning..." and they are ALWAYS classics.

He lives alone, so it's not his wife/parents kicking him out, it's his ridiculous drinking habit, which get's him into homer Simpson-esc type scenarios.:beer:


(on a side note i just noticed this is my 1987 post. That is the squarefeet of the house I'm looking at (considering buying) tomorrow.

Cool

Maybe a good omen.

I think you look way to much into things :D

[cyclopsram]

Sorta like the Hoff from the Knight Rider string of posts elsewhere on this forum. He wakes up on the lawn from time to time too.

[arejayesss]

"I'm surprised I'm still here to tell you this story, but...."

[Aren Jay]

One of my friends has a habit of starting stories with: "So, I woke up sleeping on the front lawn, this morning..." and they are ALWAYS classics.

He lives alone, so it's not his wife/parents kicking him out, it's his ridiculous drinking habit, which get's him into homer Simpson-esc type scenarios.:beer:



I think you look way to much into things :D


I'm a Philosopher of course I really look into things. Having a good memory helps although after two weeks when I laugh at someones joke when something pops up that is just like it and they all stare at me like I'm from Pluto. Which is funny in itself as one girl in my Highschool english class back in 1985 said to me once that I was from planet Pluto. Again funny considering Charon and Pluto are not considered planets anymore. And everytime in my Astronomy Class back in 1988 whenever someone would talk of Pluto I would remember back to when I was a kid and I would always get the Disney dog character Pluto confused with Goofy such that I thought Pluto was a goofy planet. Nobody did call me Goofy though so I was always happy.

[Aren Jay]

It was not dark or storm it was grey, everything turned grey it just seemed that the grey stretched on and on, everywhere grey, grey, grey, grey, it was everywhere this stuff, this grey stuff.

[Hacklemerc]

I work woth a fellow LEO who starts some of his reports with this classic line "So there I was minding my own business when..." I've seen them turned in and approved by supervisors like that. It amazes me everytime.

[Aren Jay]

Hear is a true story a guy I was taking a computer class with told me,
Perhaps it will help:

He woke up after a night on the town, he had a pounding headache and some moron had his music on way too loud. It was about 8:30 am and his had a major hangover. He got dressed, wandered out into the hall of his apartment, listening but not sure where the music was coming from, He took the stairs down a level, the music echoing everywhere, pounding in his head getting worse, he checked the floor below the music was getting louder. But not on this floor. He was ready to wring the neck of the moron who was pounding out the tunes. He had to get ready for work, is was now monday but he couldn't do anything with all this loud music. Next floor down it still is louder, he couldn't belive how someone could be such an Idiot. Finally in the lobby and the music is right outside. He wanders outside and can't believe it. There parked on the lawn with the drivers door open, stereo on full blast, some rock radio station, is his car.

He didn't know how he got home but at that point he realized he had a drinking problem.

[Tom Doan]

"As I stuffed another magazine in the my rifle"

[offroadkarter]

"so there i was, watching my porn, when guess who happens to walk in....."

[KillJoy]

First off, she SAID she was 18.....

:D

KillJoy

[Blk Mamba]

"As I stuffed another magazine in the my rifle"


Very Good!!!!!!!!!!!