How the Stock Market Works...

[BruteForce]

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started Catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

[Blk Mamba]

I couldn't have said it better!!!!!!!!!!!

[dreydin]

lmfao! awesome! xD

[sailsmen]

I don't understand it. Who are the shareholders, the employees and the executives?:confused:

The S&P 500 from 1976-2006, 30 years paid 12.0%.:banana2:

My personal return with Vanguard Mutual Funds 1 year - 20.3% / 3 year - 11.7% / 5 year 17.5%.:D

[Aren Jay]

I do not agree either.

It might be how morons invest, but it is not the stock market.

[Haggis]

HaHa that was so funny, it could only happen in a socialist world.

[BruteForce]

HaHa that was so funny, it could only happen in a socialist world.

Enron was full of commies.

[BruteForce]

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If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

[sailsmen]

People who actually believe the stock market works the way described above may opt out of one of the greatest wealth building mechanisms that half the US population currently participates in.

Investing $1,000 into S&P in 1965 and sold it in 2005 you would have netted $49,000!

Investing $1,000 per year for 45 years @10% per year results in $863,685.80.

As respects Enron and the story above most "scams" operate only when there is greed. I looked into buying Enron, but since I could not understand what they did I did not.

Enron's "scam" was big because of the large number of greedy people that participated. I will never forget an interview with a long time employee who was sueing because she lost everything in her 401K because it was all in Enron.

She described how she was such a dedicated employee that every year when the Mutual Fund Managers would come by they would set up a floor with rented computers emailing each other to give the illusion of trading energy futures. She went into detail about it in a perfectly normal tone!

I hoped she was arrested for fraud and sued by those who were true victims.

[Go Mifuni]

HaHa that was so funny, it could only happen in a socialist world.

It'll be here sooner than you think. :mad2:

[BruteForce]

People who actually believe the stock market works the way described above may opt out of one of the greatest wealth building mechanisms that half the US population currently participates in.

Get a grip! Its a joke. Maybe you've heard of them? Not intended to be a perfect analogy. :rolleyes: Seems I've picked up my own personal set of topic stalkers. I'll be sure to return the favor.

BTW, I am fully invested in the stock market. Have been for decades. I'm especially enjoying the current slide to the bottom. Picking up some relative bargains along the way.

[sailsmen]

If it's only a "joke" then liten up!:D

Based on the above comments I am not the only one who does not get the "joke". Humor is not universal.

[Go Mifuni]

Get a grip! Its a joke. Maybe you've heard of them? Not intended to be a perfect analogy. :rolleyes:

BTW, I am fully invested in the stock market. Have been for decades. I'm especially enjoying the current slide to the bottom. Picking up some relative bargains along the way.

Here's one for ya:

You put 5 monkeys in a room with a small box and hang a bunch of bananas from the ceiling. Every time a monkey climbs on the box to get the bananas, you spray all of them with a fire hose. Soon, none of them will go for the bananas. Replace one of the monkeys, and when he goes for the bananas, the others will beat the crap out of him so they don't get hosed. Swap out another monkey. He goes for the bananas and they beat the crap out of him. The newer monkey joins in the beating because of what happened to him when he went for the bananas. Continue to replace monkeys until none of the originals are left. Every time you add another monkey and they go for the bananas, they will be beaten; even though none of them have any idea why, other than that's the way it's always been.

[BruteForce]

Here's one for ya:

You put 5 monkeys in a room with a small box and hang a bunch of bananas from the ceiling. Every time a monkey climbs on the box to get the bananas, you spray all of them with a fire hose. Soon, none of them will go for the bananas. Replace one of the monkeys, and when he goes for the bananas, the others will beat the crap out of him so they don't get hosed. Swap out another monkey. He goes for the bananas and they beat the crap out of him. The newer monkey joins in the beating because of what happened to him when he went for the bananas. Continue to replace monkeys until none of the originals are left. Every time you add another monkey and they go for the bananas, they will be beaten; even though none of them have any idea why, other than that's the way it's always been.

Still waiting for the punchline. :confused:

[BruteForce]

If it's only a "joke" then liten up!:D

Based on the above comments I am not the only one who does not get the "joke". Humor is not universal.

I guess the other monkeys must have clued you in.

Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe. - Robert Service (1874-1958)

[Go Mifuni]

Still waiting for the punchline. :confused:

It was my attempt, poor as it was, at political satire.

Look at the monkey!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fc-sUtX0Eg&feature=related

[Dr Caleb]

How about futures? "Someone found a fly turd on a pipeline in Alaska, Oil now over $100 a barrel." ;)

[sailsmen]

Looks like initiation in a Frat or some type of social club.

All the monkeys were in a cage so I don't think they clued me in.

Any idiot that gets worn down by a grain of sand in his shoe, btw that can easily be removed, will never make it over the mountain.

[ParkRanger]

If it's only a "joke" then liten up!:D

Based on the above comments I am not the only one who does not get the "joke". Humor is not universal.

Man - for someone who lives near the Big Easy - you are one uptight, wound-up dude! Go to Rick's and chill. BTW that was funny!

[sailsmen]

Thanks I will toast to you!

I looked thru 4 pages of my posts and 25.25% contain subtle satire.

My Subtle Satire quota is 29.51%, so I have some work to do!;)

[sailsmen]

Did you see my Mardi Gras thread?

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/showthread.php?t=41314