MERCMAN
09-07-2003, 12:19 PM
ARE NORTHERNERS "BLUE-NECKERS"
By now, I'm sure you have heard all the Redneck jokes.
Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins:
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF...
You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!
You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.
You don't know what a Moon Pie is.
You've never had an RC Cola.
You have never, ever eaten okra, fried OR boiled.
You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
You have no idea what a polecat is.
You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
You don't have bangs.
You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. (Not to even mention duct tape!)
The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on ramp to the highway.
You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
The furthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
You call binoculars "opera glasses."
You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
You don't know what applique is.
You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billie Jean, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Mary Alice, etc.)
You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
You can do your laundry without quarters.
None of your fur coats are homemade.
By now, I'm sure you have heard all the Redneck jokes.
Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins:
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF...
You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!
You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.
You don't know what a Moon Pie is.
You've never had an RC Cola.
You have never, ever eaten okra, fried OR boiled.
You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
You have no idea what a polecat is.
You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
You don't have bangs.
You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. (Not to even mention duct tape!)
The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on ramp to the highway.
You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
The furthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
You call binoculars "opera glasses."
You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
You don't know what applique is.
You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billie Jean, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Mary Alice, etc.)
You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
You can do your laundry without quarters.
None of your fur coats are homemade.