Women Troubles....

[Rocknthehawk]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear.... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier..'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that knows I'm smarter than her.

[offroadking208]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear.... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier..'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that knows I'm smarter than her.

haha, me thinks repost, but i :lol: anyway. hahaha

[UncleLar]

If you're that smart then you won't go to sleep with both eyes shut.Never,ever underestimate a mad female.Take it from a guy who's been there.
The female of any species is usually more deadly.The female mosquito is the one who sucks blood,both the female praying mantis and spider usually kill and eat the male of their species when he gets lucky and it's the female lions that usually do the hunting and killing of prey. And then there's Lorraina Bobbit, I hope your gf doesn't get inspired by her. Sweet dreams,lol.

[rayjay]

If you're that smart then you won't go to sleep with both eyes shut.Never,ever underestimate a mad female.Take it from a guy who's been there.
The female of any species is usually more deadly.The female mosquito is the one who sucks blood,both the female praying mantis and spider usually kill and eat the male of their species when he gets lucky and it's the female lions that usually do the hunting and killing of prey. And then there's Lorraina Bobbit, I hope your gf doesn't get inspired by her. Sweet dreams,lol.

+1, don't let her near sharp knives for a while. Funny story though. If this in fact true and she uses sex as a tool or weapon, RUN do not walk away from this woman. I've heard those words, unfortunately I was married with 2 children. Thats ex #2.

[Motorhead350]

I could write a MFing book on this subject!

My gf and I have some of these problems too, but turns out I am the opposite in most relationships. I am the one that cannot be pleased. Yes it's true. She will have her time over and over, but sometimes I just say "Well I'm all done here. Goodnight." She will be mad at herself and I say it happens to a lot of guys. ;) I even faked it on two occasions. :lol: She wasn't happy about that when she figued it out.

Ever notice when you have a gf more women are interested in you? I know I do. When times are tough or you are single, the womens (yes womens) can tell and they want nothing to do with you. When you have a gf they all all over you and they call it a tease.

Sometimes I will call up my gf or another friend that is a girl, say something and when I have something important to say I'll stop. Of course they get mad and I say "See how you like a tease."

It almost seems like the more of a jerk I am the more come into my life. Strange isn't it? A few weeks ago a girl in this other band got herself a new boyfriend who got her to START smoking and drinking. I told her that her boy friend is a total stupid f****** c*** and if I see him at a show something will go down. She said it was the most rude thing anyone has ever said to her and it made her upset. One week later she is calling me to say hi and asks if I wanna hangout while he is away! :eek:

They are worse than us!

Even in the bedroom or whereever the fun stuff is done, their minds are worse than ours!!!! They just don't announce it until showtime! Haha showtime sounds good at this hour... if I only had a tv again.

Ok in before the lock and I know this will all be deleted as it may be offensive to a few members and their children. If someone has something to say about men, go right ahead. It doesn't bother me a bit, nothing really does.

[Rocknthehawk]

lol dont worry, this is another tale from the interwebz..... i have learned to never try and understan women

[Motorhead350]

Mine is all true. You can ask her, but she probably doesn't want to talk about these things until the second week of every month.

[UncleLar]

Dom,one of the best ways to get noticed by good looking women is to be seen with a good looking woman,they'll all check you out then.
Is the babe from the other band that started smoking for the dude the same one that was over here with you that night trying out my guitars?
One thing is for sure,we'll never figure out women.

[Rocknthehawk]

haha dom you're a pretty cool cat. i gotta make it out to chicago some time.

[Motorhead350]

Come on out and bring the ThunderBolt. Maybe I'll have my 65 Chevy done and we can cruse or the Marauder would be a good one to go beside ya too.

UncleLar, that girl that was over at your place is a different one, but in the same band. She smoked and drink before, but doesn't anymore. As far as I know it was an "experimental" time in high school, but that's just another lame excuse in my book. We already know smoking and drinking is bad so there is no need for an experiment... it's been done! :shake:

She doesn't do any substances and that's a big plus for me.

She's the best friend I have when it comes to music. We both hate being in 2009 instead of the 40s or 50s when we could have seen Hank Williams Senior or Jerry Lee Lewis at his prime or driven big heavy cars with factory chrome bumpers.

[SC Cheesehead]

If you're that smart then you won't go to sleep with both eyes shut.Never,ever underestimate a mad female.Take it from a guy who's been there.
The female of any species is usually more deadly.The female mosquito is the one who sucks blood,both the female praying mantis and spider usually kill and eat the male of their species when he gets lucky and it's the female lions that usually do the hunting and killing of prey. And then there's Lorraina Bobbit, I hope your gf doesn't get inspired by her. Sweet dreams,lol.

^^^^^^^ +1 ^^^^^^^^

Methinks the young man is treading some deadly ground....;)

[RoyLPita]

The last part of this is pretty much the same as above:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdiZBZQttdE&feature=PlayList&p=F25A09E128F41362&playnext=1&index=23

Lorraina Bobbitt is one of the reasons why I do not trust women much whatsoever.

[Bluerauder]

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that knows I'm smarter than her.
Don't be counting on tomorrow or the day after, either. ;)

That story has been around for awhile ....

[Marauderjack]

Just wait 'til she explains/demontrates HOT FLASHES to ya!!!!:argue::eek::shake:

I can explain if interested!!:rolleyes:

[TAKEDOWN]

Dom is it because they don't know the male G-spot?