Man laws

[TiTo35]

MAN LAWS

Lets make a list of Man Laws.
You know...stuff that should be or shouldnt be common sense to MEN.


I must be bored at work...:rolleyes:


Disclaimer: Women dont get offended, you all control all the other stuff. :D

[Blackmobile]

MAN LAWS

Lets make a list of Man Laws.
You know...stuff that should be or shouldnt be common sense to MEN.


I must be bored at work...:rolleyes: Gotta be the rain...


Disclaimer: Women dont get offended, you all control all the other stuff. :D

Don't go to bed mad at your wife, she's got what youy want....end of story.

[TiTo35]

Yea we can stamp that ^^^

[justbob]

IzO1mCAVyMw

[BAD MERC]

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella
It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".(e) When she is using her teeth.
Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! (b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! (c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!" We hope this clears up any confusion, The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.

[TiTo35]

Heeeeeey..1 at a time!

[justbob]

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!That list was freaking awesome!!!!!!!!!

[MERCMAN]

never take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time

[TiTo35]

SO umm...what happened to the other post?

[J D]

Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
Point of Order!

I object the 26th law on the grounds of coolness precedent set by the 1970 Orbit Orange GTO; a '70 challenger and of course the '69 Charger "General Lee"!

Also as an addendum I propose striking brown from the list as well as the inherent utility of the color, as well their power of anti-femininity as no woman would ever purchase a car of such manly influence. The color of the working guy's car or conversely the carefree mudbogger.

[TiTo35]

Point of Order!

I object the 26th law on the grounds of coolness precedent set by the 1970 Orbit Orange GTO; a '70 challenger and of course the '69 Charger "General Lee"!

Also as an addendum I propose striking brown from the list as well as the inherent utility of the color, as well their power of anti-femininity as no woman would ever purchase a car of such manly influence. The color of the working guy's car or conversely the carefree mudbogger.

I like how you brought this to our attention...Motion passed...:beer:

[BAD MERC]

Point of Order!

I object the 26th law on the grounds of coolness precedent set by the 1970 Orbit Orange GTO; a '70 challenger and of course the '69 Charger "General Lee"!

Also as an addendum I propose striking brown from the list as well as the inherent utility of the color, as well their power of anti-femininity as no woman would ever purchase a car of such manly influence. The color of the working guy's car or conversely the carefree mudbogger.


Yeah, but those cars had Bees, Judges, flags or stripes which ARE cool and negate nerdiness.

[4rgone]

Unless the box is casually pointed in your direction. NEVER touch another mans fries.

[Jimimac43]

My response to Blackmobiles statement at the top of the page is " They all come from the factory with one of those!" Hers isn't the only one in town. Using sex as leverage doesn't work on me, ask my 1st 2 wives!!!

[Blackmobile]

My response to Blackmobiles statement at the top of the page is " They all come from the factory with one of those!" Hers isn't the only one in town. Using sex as leverage doesn't work on me, ask my 1st 2 wives!!!

I stand by my rule, via the amendment, "It's cheaper to keep her"