CBT
07-29-2009, 06:46 PM
Today I pretty much played hooky from work. I had a 9 a.m. eye appointment (go figure, my company wants to make sure it's inspectors can see what they are inspecting), and didn't feel like going back after it was done. Well I didn't feel like waking Amy up to make me some coffee like I usually do at 5 a.m., so I stopped at the local 7-11 for some. Trust me, coffee is just about all anyone really stops there for, it damn sure isn't for the stimulating conversation. Some little kid was crying cause he busted his ass in the rain trying to run inside and some BIG dude with a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader tattoo on one forearm was trying to make the kid feel better by pointing to a bruise on his leg he said he got when he fell outta his truck earlier that morning. I'm thinking what a shlep, you should have gotten run completely over by your truck for being a Dallas fan, but I didn't say it out loud cause this guy was so big, I think his cheerleader tat was life-sized. Anyway, this snot-nosed cryer and the pedophilic Dallas fan are holding up the line so I'm gazing around, looking out the window, getting turned on at how my Marauder looks all wet, when I see it: A sign in the window I didn't notice cause I went running inside like I was being chased by a hot-dog hungry Haggis and I had the only weiner in town. I pay for my cup o' joe and step outside to burn a Lucky Strike under the eave and out of the rain, and I decide to read this "Have you seen this dog?" sign, except it reads "Have you lost this dog?" and has a picture of it. Hmmm....wheels....slowly.....t urning. I check my pocket for change, **** it, I'll call. I put on my best Christopher Walken accent...
"Hello?"
"Um, yeah, I think you may have found my dog!" (more cowbell!)
"Really, that's great!"
Now I'm thinking I have a 50-50 chance at getting the sex right:
"Yeah my kids accidently let her out."
"Well it's a male."
(Damn, it sure looked like a little ***** in the picture, oops.)
"HAHAHA, just testing ya!", I play it off all smoove. Cause I'm smoove.
"Oh? Well what's his name?"
(Damn again! This lady has played this game before!)
"Errr...Boy. Yeah if you pat your legs and say 'come here boy!' he should come to you right?"
(I hear a somewhat muffled "Come here, ERR-Boy!")
"Well, it must be your dog, he answered!"
(Of course he did you dumb ass, hell I would have walked over if ya did it to me)
"It sure sounds like it might be him lady! But I need to be sure before I leave work so early. When Boy was little he ran under the lawn mower and, well, as gross as this sounds, he lost a testicle."
...SILENCE...
"Soo...well...I don't know about that, we know he's a male..."
"Yeeeeaaaah, but before I leave work so early and fork over the 250 bucks reward, I need to be sure."
"250 bucks reward? Hang on, I got some kitchen cleaning gloves under the sink."
Now at this point I'm thinking please please please God, don't let my 35 cents run out, you bastard!! I'm also doing the pee pee dance and holding my crotch cause...well I don't know why actually. I didn't have to pee. I guess I associate having that much fun with sex or some ****.
"Hello? Still there?!"
"Yes Ma'am."
"Okay I got my gloves on, gonna check now....yeah... I believe there is only one. I think."
"Well there's either 1 or 2, which is it?"
"Well now it actually seems like 2, but, yeah there are 2."
"Nope not him bye!"
CLICK!!
For the low low price of 35 cents, I made some lady fondle dog nadz. I laughed all the way to, and thru, my eye appointment. I'm going back to 7-11 every fricking morning in the hopes that someone puts up a "Did you lose this horse?" sign!!!
"Hello?"
"Um, yeah, I think you may have found my dog!" (more cowbell!)
"Really, that's great!"
Now I'm thinking I have a 50-50 chance at getting the sex right:
"Yeah my kids accidently let her out."
"Well it's a male."
(Damn, it sure looked like a little ***** in the picture, oops.)
"HAHAHA, just testing ya!", I play it off all smoove. Cause I'm smoove.
"Oh? Well what's his name?"
(Damn again! This lady has played this game before!)
"Errr...Boy. Yeah if you pat your legs and say 'come here boy!' he should come to you right?"
(I hear a somewhat muffled "Come here, ERR-Boy!")
"Well, it must be your dog, he answered!"
(Of course he did you dumb ass, hell I would have walked over if ya did it to me)
"It sure sounds like it might be him lady! But I need to be sure before I leave work so early. When Boy was little he ran under the lawn mower and, well, as gross as this sounds, he lost a testicle."
...SILENCE...
"Soo...well...I don't know about that, we know he's a male..."
"Yeeeeaaaah, but before I leave work so early and fork over the 250 bucks reward, I need to be sure."
"250 bucks reward? Hang on, I got some kitchen cleaning gloves under the sink."
Now at this point I'm thinking please please please God, don't let my 35 cents run out, you bastard!! I'm also doing the pee pee dance and holding my crotch cause...well I don't know why actually. I didn't have to pee. I guess I associate having that much fun with sex or some ****.
"Hello? Still there?!"
"Yes Ma'am."
"Okay I got my gloves on, gonna check now....yeah... I believe there is only one. I think."
"Well there's either 1 or 2, which is it?"
"Well now it actually seems like 2, but, yeah there are 2."
"Nope not him bye!"
CLICK!!
For the low low price of 35 cents, I made some lady fondle dog nadz. I laughed all the way to, and thru, my eye appointment. I'm going back to 7-11 every fricking morning in the hopes that someone puts up a "Did you lose this horse?" sign!!!