Ladyhawke
09-19-2009, 09:28 PM
Number One Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing
in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light
in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
but the
cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested
the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
Idiot Number Five of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner
moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Idiot Number Six of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ). We recently
had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to
request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing
in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light
in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
but the
cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested
the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
Idiot Number Five of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner
moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Idiot Number Six of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ). We recently
had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to
request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~