CBT
02-18-2010, 12:07 PM
Well I posted the last one for critique, here's the next. Comments welcomed as always!
The assassination of Mahmoud Al-Mabhouh
On Jan 20th, 2010 a top official in Hamas by the name of Mahmoud Al-Mabhouh was killed in Dubai, UAE. Hamas has accused Israel’s secret service Mossad of orchestrating the attack. Israeli response to these accusations is the same as it always is: Israel never responds, never confirms, and never denies that they track down terrorists and break it off in their asses.
Let’s go back in history and try to understand why Israel is so quick to call down the thunder with the realness on fake assed Ninjas when they are messed with. First, the Egyptians had them all making bricks a couple thousand years ago, and that did not sit well with Moses. So, he picked up his snake stick and said “We don’t have to leave, but we can’t stayeth here.” , and led them out of that area, and the long version can be found in the Book of Exodus, I need to keep this story to two pages.
Flash forward to 1948, the State of Israel was born. (Good job, Moses!) Things were relatively peaceful in and around Israel, despite the Muslims constantly badgering the Israeli’s that they "need to get the Hell out of Jerusalem". The Islamic claim to Jerusalem is redonkulous. They claim Muhammad flew from Mecca on a magic horse on his way to Heaven, and made a brief pit-stop in Jerusalem, and therefore it is holy to the Muslims. We all know this is fake because winged horses overslept and didn’t make in to the Ark in time for departure. Plus, there were no mosques in Jerusalem in 632 C.E. at the time of Muhammad’s death. Jerusalem was at that time a Christian occupied city. They would have picked up on a flying horse entering their airspace and scrambled the “Alert Camels” and laid down a good old fashioned air to air Judeo-Christian welcome.
Moving on, now it is May 1967. Israel is surrounded by the mobilized armies of Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, and Jordan. (Picture Mayberry surrounded by Compton, Oakland, Detroit, and the ATL.) While they are all bouncing up and down in their low riders and talkin’ **** about who is going to be first in line when they do this drive by, Israel broke out the Dead Sea Scroll of Whoop Ass and broke the seal, biblical style. They preemptively struck, destroying almost all of the Egyptian air force while it was on the ground. Then they turned east and destroyed the Jordanian air force, (proving Air Jordans ain’t all that.) followed by the Syrian air force. But wait! There’s more! In an incredible act of accidental stupidity, Iraq stuck its head out of the trailer and asked “Wassaaaaaaaaaaaap?”, and promptly had their air force smashed as well. Then the REAL ass kicking started. The Israeli ground forces (not to be out done by fighter jocks with cool nick names like Kosher and Shlomo) took a drag off of their cigarette, said “call”, threw down a Royal Flush, and proceeded to scoop the Sinai Peninsula, the Gaza Strip, the West Bank, eastern Jerusalem, and the Golan Heights off the poker table. Then, they punched the dealer in the face just for dramatic affect and walked away. Israel not only threw 5 countries a beating at the same time, they took away their toys before they kicked them out of the sandbox. All this happened in 6 days. On the 7th day, they rested, in accordance with prophecy.
Now it’s 1972. Munich, Germany. Islamic extremist members of Black September, a faction of the PLO, take members of the Israeli Olympic team hostage, and killed 11 of them before the ordeal was over. After only 3 days of everyone else in the world trying to figure out who was behind it and what actions were going to be taken, Israel said “screw this” and bombed Syria and Lebanon. That was just to let off some steam before the actual retaliation started. 40 days later, 35 terrorists suspected of having anything to do with the Munich Massacre started dying of mysterious causes like receiving 18 gunshot wounds in a hotel lobby, bomb-rigged telephones taking their heads off when they answered a ringing phone, and explosives laden vehicles spontaneously detonating when one of them happened to walk by.
The name of the operation alone spelled epic win, it was called Operation Wrath of God. Yeeeeaaaaaaah, booooooooyeeeeee!! Supposedly, the operation was run by Mossad’s assassination unit, the Kidon. Kidon is Hebrew for “Bayonet”. So basically, the Wrath of God is being carried out by bayonet. Yeah, that’s how they roll. It wouldn’t surprise me if they all drove Marauders, that’s about the only vehicle that can contain the awesome amount of bad assery possessed by a Mossad agent. So it would not surprise me to learn that Mossad is in fact behind the assassination of this scumbag terrorist. I hope when they killed him they quoted some awesome **** from scriptures like “Vengeance is mine; I will repay; sayeth the Lord. Romans 12:19, BIAAAAAATCH!!!”
There are 2 great movies that cover everything I’ve mentioned; The Ten Commandments, starring Moses, and Munich, starring Eric Bana. Also, you can read the bible, there is more killing and more cursing in that than in my story, though, so be warned.
The assassination of Mahmoud Al-Mabhouh
On Jan 20th, 2010 a top official in Hamas by the name of Mahmoud Al-Mabhouh was killed in Dubai, UAE. Hamas has accused Israel’s secret service Mossad of orchestrating the attack. Israeli response to these accusations is the same as it always is: Israel never responds, never confirms, and never denies that they track down terrorists and break it off in their asses.
Let’s go back in history and try to understand why Israel is so quick to call down the thunder with the realness on fake assed Ninjas when they are messed with. First, the Egyptians had them all making bricks a couple thousand years ago, and that did not sit well with Moses. So, he picked up his snake stick and said “We don’t have to leave, but we can’t stayeth here.” , and led them out of that area, and the long version can be found in the Book of Exodus, I need to keep this story to two pages.
Flash forward to 1948, the State of Israel was born. (Good job, Moses!) Things were relatively peaceful in and around Israel, despite the Muslims constantly badgering the Israeli’s that they "need to get the Hell out of Jerusalem". The Islamic claim to Jerusalem is redonkulous. They claim Muhammad flew from Mecca on a magic horse on his way to Heaven, and made a brief pit-stop in Jerusalem, and therefore it is holy to the Muslims. We all know this is fake because winged horses overslept and didn’t make in to the Ark in time for departure. Plus, there were no mosques in Jerusalem in 632 C.E. at the time of Muhammad’s death. Jerusalem was at that time a Christian occupied city. They would have picked up on a flying horse entering their airspace and scrambled the “Alert Camels” and laid down a good old fashioned air to air Judeo-Christian welcome.
Moving on, now it is May 1967. Israel is surrounded by the mobilized armies of Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, and Jordan. (Picture Mayberry surrounded by Compton, Oakland, Detroit, and the ATL.) While they are all bouncing up and down in their low riders and talkin’ **** about who is going to be first in line when they do this drive by, Israel broke out the Dead Sea Scroll of Whoop Ass and broke the seal, biblical style. They preemptively struck, destroying almost all of the Egyptian air force while it was on the ground. Then they turned east and destroyed the Jordanian air force, (proving Air Jordans ain’t all that.) followed by the Syrian air force. But wait! There’s more! In an incredible act of accidental stupidity, Iraq stuck its head out of the trailer and asked “Wassaaaaaaaaaaaap?”, and promptly had their air force smashed as well. Then the REAL ass kicking started. The Israeli ground forces (not to be out done by fighter jocks with cool nick names like Kosher and Shlomo) took a drag off of their cigarette, said “call”, threw down a Royal Flush, and proceeded to scoop the Sinai Peninsula, the Gaza Strip, the West Bank, eastern Jerusalem, and the Golan Heights off the poker table. Then, they punched the dealer in the face just for dramatic affect and walked away. Israel not only threw 5 countries a beating at the same time, they took away their toys before they kicked them out of the sandbox. All this happened in 6 days. On the 7th day, they rested, in accordance with prophecy.
Now it’s 1972. Munich, Germany. Islamic extremist members of Black September, a faction of the PLO, take members of the Israeli Olympic team hostage, and killed 11 of them before the ordeal was over. After only 3 days of everyone else in the world trying to figure out who was behind it and what actions were going to be taken, Israel said “screw this” and bombed Syria and Lebanon. That was just to let off some steam before the actual retaliation started. 40 days later, 35 terrorists suspected of having anything to do with the Munich Massacre started dying of mysterious causes like receiving 18 gunshot wounds in a hotel lobby, bomb-rigged telephones taking their heads off when they answered a ringing phone, and explosives laden vehicles spontaneously detonating when one of them happened to walk by.
The name of the operation alone spelled epic win, it was called Operation Wrath of God. Yeeeeaaaaaaah, booooooooyeeeeee!! Supposedly, the operation was run by Mossad’s assassination unit, the Kidon. Kidon is Hebrew for “Bayonet”. So basically, the Wrath of God is being carried out by bayonet. Yeah, that’s how they roll. It wouldn’t surprise me if they all drove Marauders, that’s about the only vehicle that can contain the awesome amount of bad assery possessed by a Mossad agent. So it would not surprise me to learn that Mossad is in fact behind the assassination of this scumbag terrorist. I hope when they killed him they quoted some awesome **** from scriptures like “Vengeance is mine; I will repay; sayeth the Lord. Romans 12:19, BIAAAAAATCH!!!”
There are 2 great movies that cover everything I’ve mentioned; The Ten Commandments, starring Moses, and Munich, starring Eric Bana. Also, you can read the bible, there is more killing and more cursing in that than in my story, though, so be warned.