View Full Version : The reason Marty is still single...
Marty and I went out for an 'adult beverage' when he was in Atlanta. I made note of some of his 'pick-up lines" he used...the boy has just got NO game...
1. "What's your sign?"
The epitome of cheese, this line, which has been around since the Beatles came to America, ranks as the very worst line in dating history. The fact that it's still in use says a lot about the decay of our society's standards and the glaring desperation of some singles.
2. "Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"
Maybe this was funny around 1910 or 1915 — back when the telephone was a novel appliance. It does not inspire smiles now, only scared and doomed looks.
3. "You must be a broom because you're sweeping me off my feet."
Maybe your dad used this one on your mom and for nostalgia's sake, you're bringing it out again. Nostalgia does not get you dates, only pity.
4. "Do you have a licence? Because you're driving me crazy."
Caution! Watching too many stupid teen movies impairs your judgement. This probably sounded clever to the person who swiped it from an Annette and Frankie beach party flick.
5. "I gotta thirst and baby, you look like my Gatorade."
Generally, comparing potential dates to food or drinks is not a winning move.
6. "Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here."
Maybe angels like this one, real women don't.
7. "Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers."
Prayer is something that anyone who uses this tacky line desperately needs.
8. "Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas."
This line is popular with both men and women who think references to Santa are cute and charming, which are qualities that they never possess personally.
9. "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"
:puke::puke:
10. "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"
A personal favorite, this one takes a certain amount of arrogance as well as delusion, to pull off.
MAD-3R
11-21-2003, 09:42 AM
Ohh thats just...
Funny.
Haggis
11-21-2003, 09:58 AM
LMAO,
TAF you need to educate him next time. Now I know why that Amish girl was laughing at him at the Hershey meet. http://smilies.sofrayt.com/1/c0/laugh.gif
MapleLeafMerc
11-21-2003, 10:02 AM
:lol:
I have GOT to see you two in action some day!
LincMercLover
11-21-2003, 10:02 AM
LOL! You know how hard Sammy woulda laughed in my face if I tried to pick her up using one of those lines! :lol:
Bigdogjim
11-21-2003, 10:35 AM
Not that Marty needs me or anyone else to defend him....
For some of guy Marauders and wife's don' t mix!
So maybe its just some nautral defense mode that "kicks" in when he sees a women?
:lol: :):):)
Agent M79
11-21-2003, 10:51 AM
One of my favorites...
11. "You must be tired cause you been running through my mind all night!"
Dr Caleb
11-21-2003, 10:58 AM
12. Nice pants. How did you get into them? How do I?
Dr Caleb
11-21-2003, 10:59 AM
13. You realize, you're turning down a guy with over 10 million. . . . Club Z points. . .
Haggis
11-21-2003, 11:03 AM
14. That dress looks real pretty on you. It will even look prettier on the floor next to my bed.
Marty, you are a disgrace to the rest of us super stud, chick magnet lawyers!:baaa:
(Don't tell Dawn I said that!)
martyo
11-21-2003, 11:31 AM
Yawn......
For this I got out of my sick bed??
MAD-3R
11-21-2003, 11:32 AM
15. I would love to buy you breakfast. Should I call you or nudge you?
16. Your legs are perfect-- feet on one end and heaven at the other!
jgc61sr2002
11-21-2003, 04:27 PM
TAF - Lucky for you Marty is under the weather. You are a tuff act to follow.:D
martyo
11-21-2003, 04:32 PM
Originally posted by jgc61sr2002
TAF - Lucky for you Marty is under the weather. You are a tuff act to follow.:D
Yep, following Todd is like following the ponies, and we all know what you get if you follow the ponies!!!
Dr Caleb
11-21-2003, 04:44 PM
From:
To: undisclosed-recipients: ;
Subject: Love Note
Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 09:32:59 -0700
I shall seek and find you...
I shall take you to bed and control you...
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan...
I will make you beg for mercy.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you...and you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu
:)
Take warm rum, melt in butter, add cinnamon and nutmeg to taste. Take 2, call me in the morning,
vaderv
11-21-2003, 05:29 PM
Not to put too big a damper on your fun TAF but... He's still single because he is smarter than the rest of us married men or women. Marriage is sooooooo damned confining.
SILVERMARAUDER
11-21-2003, 05:54 PM
17. hey baby, the word of the day is legs
lets go to my house and spread the word.:pimp:
martyo
11-21-2003, 06:01 PM
Originally posted by vaderv
Not to put too big a damper on your fun TAF but... He's still single because he is smarter than the rest of us married men or women. Marriage is sooooooo damned confining.
Amen brutha!
:D
woaface
11-21-2003, 07:26 PM
18. You must be a visa because you're everywhere I want to be
woaface
11-21-2003, 07:31 PM
http://www.linesthataregood.com/ This is great! :DBut nothing I would use...Ya'll gotta learn from the pro here:pimp:
woaface
11-21-2003, 07:36 PM
AHH! EVEN WORSE!
19. You make my software turn to hardware! :lol:
CRUZTAKER
11-21-2003, 08:52 PM
Sorry you're feeling under the weather Marty...hope you turn it around soon. And as long as we're at it, (and Petro gonna love this one)
20. (give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
This probably would have worked for me back in the day :P
Patrick
11-21-2003, 08:54 PM
Thanks Todd!!!! Like these people here needed a reason to get started on sumptin!!! Still like #18!!!!!!!!!!:beer:
TripleTransAm
11-21-2003, 10:03 PM
21. Hey baby, sit on my face and I'll guess your weight... and eat the difference. :cool:
SILVERMARAUDER
11-22-2003, 07:38 AM
22. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.:pimp:
GodOSpeed
11-22-2003, 10:23 AM
23."Those must be astronaut pants... Cause they are out of this world!"
CRUZTAKER
11-22-2003, 11:26 AM
24. I've got a 13 second Marauder, a full tank of gas, and a cold six pack of molson xxx......
Scratch that...that one actually worked!
SILVERMARAUDER
11-22-2003, 11:54 AM
25. Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.
RCSignals
11-22-2003, 04:30 PM
Hmm, Todd (Al) the "Married with Children" guy is trying to give current pick up line advice to Marty? :eek:
:lol:
martyo
11-22-2003, 06:31 PM
Originally posted by RCSignals
Hmm, Todd (Al) the "Married with Children" guy is trying to give current pick up line advice to Marty? :eek:
:lol:
Scary, isn't it????
Judging by the length of this thread...I'm not the only one trying to help the poor guy out....
Marty's favorite this week...
26. "Hi...I'm Marty OOOO:puke:....
martyo
11-22-2003, 06:46 PM
Todd, my friend, all I have to say is:
martyo
11-22-2003, 06:46 PM
Need I say more?????
:lol:
Bigdogjim
11-22-2003, 10:03 PM
Originally posted by TAF
Judging by the length of this thread...I'm not the only one trying to help the poor guy out....
Marty's favorite this week...
26. "Hi...I'm Marty OOOO:puke:....
Hey! Thats what friends are for...:) :) :P :P :P
Haggis
11-24-2003, 10:30 AM
I had a roommate when I was in the Army stationed in Germany. One night while at the nightclub he went up to different women and asked:
27. Do you swallow?
I take no credit nor any blame for the orgin of this line. After many repeated attempts, let us just say "If at first you don't suceed try try again". He received 1 slap in the face, a couple of "NO", a few fingers gestures and some "Ich nicht verstain" (I do not understand) and one "YES".
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.