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Joe Walsh
05-24-2010, 08:06 AM
OK folks....so I'm driving home on I-95 yesterday evening and I see something up ahead.

It looks like a clean Infinity G35 coupe:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1693-1.jpg

Yep...It is!
But wait....What is that on the front fender? Is it globs of mud???

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1690-1.jpg

OH NO! Say it ain't so!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1692.jpg

OMFG! Genuine glue-on PepBoys Buick port holes:...:eek:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1691.jpg

I can't stand that crap! It ranks up there (down there actually) with fart pipes and 747 rear wings on the trunk.

Here is another guy's view on this disturbing fad:

http://mustangspeed.com/the_port_hole_fad.htm

Post up pictures of nice cars that have been ruined by Buick port holes.
(There are too many Hondas and Toyotas with these atrocities to waste bandwidth on.)

fastblackmerc
05-24-2010, 08:37 AM
They do look like *****.

The sad thing is most don't know that you have to have the correct number of holes.

8 cylinder is 4 per side

6 cylinder is 3 per side

I've seen plenty of CV's & GM's with 3 per side.... must be have the "special" v6 motor....

Blackened300a
05-24-2010, 08:43 AM
They do look like *****.

The sad thing is most don't know that you have to have the correct number of holes.

8 cylinder is 4 per side

6 cylinder is 3 per side

I've seen plenty of CV's & GM's with 3 per side.... must be have the "special" v6 motor....

You are correct. The old Buick "Ventiports" Inspired from planes of the 40s. Its a fad that I wish would remain only on buicks.

Portholes and Ventiports

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/28/1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JPG/250px-1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JPG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JP G)Buick Special or Super Sedan, 1951.

A traditional Buick styling cue dating to 1949 is a series of three or four portholes or vents on the front fender behind the front wheels. The source of this design feature was a custom car (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Custom_car) of Buick stylist Ned Nickles, which in addition had a flashing light within each hole each synchronized with a specific spark plug simulating the flames from the exhaust stack of a fighter airplane. Combined with the bombsight mascot (introduced in the 1940s), the ventiports put the driver at the controls of an imaginary fighter airplane. The flashing light feature was not used by Buick in production, but the portholes remained as nonfunctional ornamentation.
These were originally called "Ventiports" since the suggestion was made that they did allow air flow out of the engine bay (later just "portholes"). Air enters from the grill into the engine bay and is pressurized by the radiator fan, and exits through the ventiports. Ventiports have appeared sporadically on several models since.
Lower cost models were equipped with three portholes, while higher cost models came with four. Often, people would denote their cars as "Four-Holers" or "Three-Holers" to assert the car's class. When the number of portholes was standardized across the entire model line, buyers of the higher cost models complained bitterly that they felt shortchanged. In 2003 they were re-introduced on the Buick Park Avenue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Park_Avenue). After the Park Avenue was discontinued, Buick salvaged the portholes to appear on the new-for-2006 Lucerne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Lucerne). In a break with tradition, the Lucerne's portholes refer directly to engine configuration: V6 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V6) models have three on each side, while V8s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V8) have four on each side.
Modern and edgy compared to the oval ones that adorned Buicks for years, the new ventiports have become a Buick-wide talisman again, showing up on the LaCrosse Super, all models of the popular Enclave and, for 2010, along the inner hood ridges of the redesigned LaCrosse/Allure.

Ralph Sr.
05-24-2010, 08:55 AM
always liked portholes on our 1956 buick cenutry.. back then only cenutrys and roadmasters have the four ports..b/c they came with the most horsepower engine ! rkvette/ralph sr.

gdmjoe
05-24-2010, 08:55 AM
I'm still holding-out for .....

http://www.gdmjoe.com/2007interceptorfendervent.jpg
*2007 Interceptor concept.

SC Cheesehead
05-24-2010, 09:02 AM
I can't stand that crap! It ranks up there (down there actually) with fart pipes and 747 rear wings on the trunk.


They do look like *****..

Al Czervik (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001098/): Oh, this is the worst-looking [mods] I ever saw. What, when you buy a [set of stick-on ports] like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?

Al Czervik (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001098/): Oh, it looks good on you though.

Blackened300a
05-24-2010, 09:05 AM
Al Czervik (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001098/): Oh, this is the worst-looking [mods] I ever saw. What, when you buy a [set of stick-on ports] like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?

Al Czervik (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001098/): Oh, it looks good on you though.

:lol:
http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x141/rewriter42/Caddyshack0.jpg

musclemerc
05-24-2010, 09:05 AM
For some reason they are popular. Why I don't know, I think they are ugly and take away from the vehicle

SC Cheesehead
05-24-2010, 09:06 AM
For some reason they are popular. Why I don't know, I think they are ugly and take away from the vehicle

I'd like a set for my car, but can't find any with the right curve to fit the fenders correctly...;)

Joe Walsh
06-26-2010, 08:49 AM
PART 2:

OK, so I'm cruising around the Baltimore Beltway yesterday and I see a Lincoln up ahead....

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1995.jpg

UH OH!....:shake:

Could it be???

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1994.jpg

AHHHH JEEZ!!!

NOOOOOOOO! ......:eek:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1992.jpg
http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1998.jpg

And to make matters worse...it must be a V6!!!

justbob
06-26-2010, 08:59 AM
I'm still holding-out for .....

http://www.gdmjoe.com/2007interceptorfendervent.jpg
*2007 Interceptor concept.
Now there is one that might tempt my grinder and I....

Black_Noise
06-26-2010, 10:26 AM
I saw some stick on walmart portholes stuck on the rear bumper behind the rear tires going upwards.... Like dirt normally does, on this stupid looking honda owned by some mexicans the other day.

It was so horrible I couldnt stand to look

tbone
06-26-2010, 10:36 AM
I saw one the other day that were put on so crooked that the guy must have had his drunken, paraplegic, blind, amputee uncle stick them on with his dork. OMG it was that awful!

LIGHTNIN1
06-26-2010, 11:03 AM
They use them on the 300C's here. Like has been said, they look great on 56 Buicks and old airplanes but Lexus and BMW's? someone start a fad putting them down the side above the rear wheels would work just as well.:D

Joe Walsh
06-26-2010, 12:28 PM
I saw some stick on walmart portholes stuck on the rear bumper behind the rear tires going upwards.... Like dirt normally does, on this stupid looking honda owned by some mexicans the other day.

It was so horrible I couldnt stand to look


I saw some the other day that were put on so crooked that the guy must have had his drunken, paraplegic, blind, amputee uncle stick them on with his dork. OMG it was that awful!

:rofl:

Post pictures, so we can all laugh at them!

or maybe vomit as we look at the horror!....:puke:

Phrog_gunner
06-26-2010, 01:59 PM
We could make a new website. www.portholesofwalmart.com

boatmangc
06-26-2010, 02:06 PM
I think they sell them here too
.http://www.mulletjunky.com/monday.html

SVT_MERC
06-26-2010, 04:13 PM
They do look like *****.

The sad thing is most don't know that you have to have the correct number of holes.

8 cylinder is 4 per side

6 cylinder is 3 per side

I've seen plenty of CV's & GM's with 3 per side.... must be have the "special" v6 motor....


People are forgetting the '87 Buick GNX, a turbo V6 with 4 vents on each side...

Blackened300a
06-26-2010, 05:30 PM
I guess I have a home work assignment. I plan on posting pics of venti-ports on cars that have ZERO reason for having them. Its huge here in NY. I can;t go more then 10 minute without seeing some POS with them glued on.

Jolly Roger
06-26-2010, 05:53 PM
You guys may snicker but I plan to add 6 holes per hide since my MM will soon have an Allison V-12.
Now run and tell that. LOL.:P

MercNasty
06-26-2010, 06:39 PM
those cheap things are the trash, it makes my stomach hurt when i see those, especially on a nice car. If you are going to do such a thing at least get them cut in like they are supposed to be not the cheap stick on's, who are you fooling.

Joe Walsh
06-26-2010, 06:41 PM
If I am ever in the grips of a PEPBOYS induced stupor, I might glue a set on my Marauder's fenders!...:2thumbs:

Leadfoot281
06-26-2010, 07:33 PM
I have never a set of these...ever.

Just another nice benefit to living out in the sticks. Civilization is over rated. :lol:

Joe Walsh
06-26-2010, 07:47 PM
If I am ever in the grips of a PEPBOYS induced stupor, I might glue a set on my Marauder's fenders!...:2thumbs:

4 portholes of course because I have a V8!

LANDY
06-26-2010, 07:51 PM
i laugh everytime i see those, if you live in a big city or near the hood. you will see those everyday.

Spectragod
06-26-2010, 07:54 PM
Those are spaced so far apart....... they look like crop circles.:lol:


http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_1998.jpg

twin03
06-26-2010, 10:33 PM
Them Baltimore guys do that stuff...

RF Overlord
06-26-2010, 11:24 PM
The square ones on the G35 don't look TOO awful, but the ones on that Lincoln... :puke:

Vortex
06-27-2010, 06:47 AM
They have a big rack of different kinds at Walmart. What a way to ruin a nice Infiniti.

babbage
06-27-2010, 06:58 AM
Real functional port holes were suppose to allow hot air to exit the engine and allow you to keep a cooler engine bay. yeah?

AConvertedChevy
06-27-2010, 07:03 AM
I had these on my first car..... a 91 Caprice
I thought it was cool then and I still don't think it looks too bad on that car...
http://i50.tinypic.com/2qkv41t.jpg

BUT.. 99.9% of the stick on portholes look so stupid it makes my day

the best is when you see the guys with them lining up the hood like ported racing stripes :lol:

PhastPhil
06-27-2010, 05:56 PM
During the time frame that Buick originally used Vantiports / portholes, Buick did offer a six cyclinder engine, they were all eights. They were straight eights until 1953. 1953 was the only year that Buick offered a straight eight and a V-8. The Special was the low end model had a straight eight and got three portholes. The Super was the middle level model and got three portholes and a V-8 with a 2bbl. carb. The top of the line was the Roadmaster. It got four protholes and a V-8 with a 4bbl. carb.
So basically, those idiots with three portholes on their late model cars are telling the world that their fancy car is really just a cheaper model. Or at least it is not as good as a Buick Roadmaster !

LeoVampire
06-28-2010, 10:44 AM
Here you go one with the port holes that is a 6 cylender.

21509

21510

21511

PhastPhil
06-28-2010, 12:47 PM
What makes you think that is a six ? The spark plugs are on the other side and should be under a cover, but the wires and distributor would be visible. It does look small, but Buick had two straight eights. Usally a 248 cu. in. in the smaller series, and a 320 cu. in. in the larger series. The cubic inches varied in different years.

PonyUP
06-28-2010, 12:50 PM
I've decided I am putting portholes on my headboard

Joe Walsh
06-28-2010, 01:16 PM
I've decided I am putting portholes on my headboard

That way she'll know whether you got a 6 or an 8 under the hood....:P

ChiTownMaraud3r
06-28-2010, 01:17 PM
I found the best one out there one time...

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r255/HomeyG745i/0314000145.jpg

PonyUP
06-28-2010, 01:19 PM
That way she'll know whether you got a 6 or an 8 under the hood....:P
Well it will be to make her think I have an 8, meanwhile it's really a 4 banger

^^^^^every pun listed above is intended

Joe Walsh
06-28-2010, 01:43 PM
Part 3:
OK, so I park over at the mall and head in to the food court for lunch.
When I come out to my car I find this....this....this....thing parked right next to me!
I don't even have to look for these automotive abortions...they find me!

Nothing says "Kwality" like Goth portholes on a POS Honda:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2011.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2009.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2015.jpg

When you have a POS Honda you need to protect the orange peel, dented & chipped paint job with a POS bra:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2010.jpg


Check out the fully "chromed" Reynold's Wrap door handles:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2013.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2012.jpg

Joe Walsh
06-28-2010, 01:46 PM
Looks like the Honda 'tard and the Grand Am 'tard went to the same aisle in PepBoys...or as they say: "Great 'tards think alike!"

justbob
06-28-2010, 02:10 PM
I would get you some shots from up my way but my current SD card can only hold 2000 pics. Sorry Joe.

Joe Walsh
06-28-2010, 03:16 PM
I would get you some shots from up my way but my current SD card can only hold 2000 pics. Sorry Joe.

Delete some of the porn and you'd have room on that SD card!!...:P

justbob
06-28-2010, 03:20 PM
Delete some of the porn and you'd have room on that SD card!!...:P
Thats scary! You actually DO know me! LOL Is it really that obvious??:o

PonyUP
06-28-2010, 03:22 PM
Bob, the sgtranger standing behind you at the bank can figure that your camera is loaded with porn. I mean you see a four foot tall chubby chick and start panting like a st Bernard.

justbob
06-28-2010, 03:24 PM
SO! :D Back to portholes............:alone:

PonyUP
06-28-2010, 03:30 PM
Yes, I am buying Yugo and putting on portholes, In fact I submit that we nationally change the word azzhole to porthole

SVT_MERC
06-28-2010, 04:11 PM
1st and last gen. T-birds had 2 sets of port holes on them..... the ones on the fenders, and the port hole windows.

http://www.4wheelz.net/makes/images/ford/2002_ford_thunderbird01_bc8b_i m.jpg

http://www.seriouswheels.com/pics-1950-1959/1955-Ford-Thunderbird-American-Graffiti-2.jpg

magindat
06-28-2010, 04:32 PM
Harley Earl was the father of the portholes on Buicks. I'm sure he turns in his grave every time a package of that garbage is sold.

Phrog_gunner
06-28-2010, 04:37 PM
The TBird fenders don't count as portholes, they aren't round. Same with Vettes.

SVT_MERC
06-28-2010, 04:40 PM
Windows on the birds still count as port holes though.

Joe Walsh
07-15-2010, 01:26 PM
Part 4:

Saw this earlier today, Toyota Celica....must be a 6 cylinder!

I was in the Marauder, but I figured that he would 'whup' me with that badazz Celica!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2094.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2095.jpg

Joe Walsh
08-19-2010, 05:40 AM
Part 5:

Coming up to a red light yesterday and I see a nice MazdaSpeed 6:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2284.jpg

Ahhh JEEZ!
Not another decent car ruined by the haphazard application of PepBoys Portholes!...:puke:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2282.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2283.jpg

Vortex
08-19-2010, 06:26 AM
Those Walmart stickons are horrible.

Pat
08-19-2010, 11:10 AM
Leo Vampires post shows a 1949 Buick Super Sedanette, It's an inline eight. The Special Sedanette has rectangler port holes.

JoeBoomz
08-20-2010, 03:49 PM
Hilarious thread, thanks for the laughs! :D


My favorite was the Wal-Mart "spinner" hubcaps that came out a few years ago. Seeing the Neons driving around with those on was so funny it was definately a distraction to safe driving. They looked like little beanie hats but for your wheels.

Joe Walsh
08-20-2010, 07:51 PM
Part 6:

More motoring mayhem....I didn't know that late model Chryslers had port holes??...:dunno:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2292.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2293.jpg

At least they aren't the 'Goth' style port holes....:o

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2294.jpg

Hack Goby
08-21-2010, 08:23 AM
http://www.mercurymarauder.net/gallery/data/500/medium/dreamcruise_2010_063.JPG Yes they were portholes at the dream cruise...

FudPucker
08-21-2010, 01:28 PM
That's a decent car too. How embarrassing. Makes ya want to stop in front of him, get out of your car and shake your head while laughing hysterically!

He probably thinks he got a 20hp boost from putting em on there too. :lol:

FudPucker
08-21-2010, 01:54 PM
That's a decent car too. How embarrassing. Makes ya want to stop in front of him, get out of your car and shake your head while laughing hysterically!

He probably thinks he got a 20hp boost from putting em on there too. :lol:

guspech750
08-21-2010, 06:43 PM
I have always liked gloryholes too............oh damn. Wrong holes. Carry on.

Phrog_gunner
08-21-2010, 06:49 PM
I have always liked gloryholes too......

That way you don't have to face the guy you......nm.

dakslim
08-22-2010, 07:53 AM
I have always liked gloryholes too............oh damn. Wrong holes. Carry on.

I KNEW that you'd get T-Gunner's attention but also thought CBT would respond too!:eek:

guspech750
08-22-2010, 08:38 AM
I KNEW that you'd get T-Gunner's attention but also thought CBT would respond too!:eek:
Casey's busy in Chi town with family. Just saw him Friday night. If you know what I mean:cool:

dakslim
08-22-2010, 09:21 AM
Casey's busy in Chi town with family. Just saw him Friday night. If you know what I mean:cool:

How's that Cubs, Chisox bet doing?????:confused: What will Casey have to do????:eek:

guspech750
08-22-2010, 10:31 AM
How's that Cubs, Chisox bet doing?????:confused: What will Casey have to do????:eek:
He paid me $80 Friday night for the Sox winning the series and had Justbob take a picture for proof.

Joe Walsh
08-25-2010, 08:23 AM
Part 7:

I pull in to the Royal Farm store for some gas and a soda and I see this well kept Lincoln:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2295.jpg

But....wait.....OH NO!

Poor Linclon LS....:shake:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2297.jpg

Note: The silver Buick at the pumps that has "Buick" Portholes....LOL!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2298.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2299.jpg

Leadfoot281
08-25-2010, 12:13 PM
I think a quick way to kill this trend is to always comment to the owners of these cars, "Hey, nice Buick!". Follow that up with, "My Dad just totally loves his Buick".

If they get pissy about it (and most anyone under the age of 30 will) just point at the port holes, shrug and walk away.

Three months ago I was sitting under a freeway over pass waiting out a tornado and got started BS'ing with a guy that pulled in with a new Buick crossover. I mentioned that my Dad really liked his Buicks and he literally winced. This guy clearly didn't want to be driving an 'old mans car'. As much as he said he liked his car, I'll bet he's traded it off by now.

You can sell a young mans car to an old guy but you can't sell an old mans car to a young guy.

Joe Walsh
08-25-2010, 12:21 PM
I think a quick way to kill this trend is to always comment to the owners of these cars, "Hey, nice Buick!". Follow that up with, "My Dad just totally loves his Buick".

If they get pissy about it (and most anyone under the age of 30 will) just point at the port holes, shrug and walk away.

Three months ago I was sitting under a freeway over pass waiting out a tornado and got started BS'ing with a guy that pulled in with a new Buick crossover. I mentioned that my Dad really liked his Buicks and he literally winced. This guy clearly didn't want to be driving an 'old mans car'. As much as he said he liked his car, I'll bet he's traded it off by now.

You can sell a young mans car to an old guy but you can't sell an old mans car to a young guy.

That's why I waited until I was 43 years old to buy a Marauder...:P

Hey, I just noticed the matching Buick in the backround of my pictures!
Check out the silver Buick at the pumps.

Joe Walsh
08-27-2010, 03:10 PM
PART 8:

Hey! Is that a Toyota with Buick Portholes?!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2312.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2313.jpg

"I can't afford a set of $15 Walmart faux chrome hubcaps, but I can afford a set of $9 fake Buick Portholes!
Yeah...now It's lookin' good!".....:2thumbs:"

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2314.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/-1.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2316.jpg

Someone help me out here...is that a Toyota Terdcel, a Craprolla, or a Smelica?
The owner is probably wishing that they had the 'unintended acceleration' problem common to the newer Toyotas.

Pat
08-28-2010, 03:24 AM
Buick Portholes, or more accurately, Ventiports, were the idea of Buick designer Ned Nickles in l948. He was inspired by the exhaust flames of fighter planes of the time so he cut holes in the side of his Roadmaster convertible and installed amber lights. The lights were attached to the distributor for power so that when a cylinder fired an amber light would flash giving the impression of a powerful engine with exhaust flames.


The rest is history. Ironic, a little bling and portholes became an icon for Buick.



Info gleaned from August 2010 edition of Motor Trend magazine.

MMarauder03
09-03-2010, 11:06 AM
Too bad they aren't getting the Universal Pimp Edition portholes! Man those things are Saweeeeeet! :rolleyes:

http://www.showtrix.com/inc/sdetail/10466

White Knuckles
09-03-2010, 03:25 PM
I hope these go the way of the "crown" air fresheners that used to be in back windows of every other car in Atlanta.

LIGHTNIN1
09-03-2010, 03:40 PM
Too bad they aren't getting the Universal Pimp Edition portholes! Man those things are Saweeeeeet! :rolleyes:

http://www.showtrix.com/inc/sdetail/10466


I was at Autozone yesterday and it had been a while since I checked out their custom or pimpmobile accessory section but there they were,several different versions of the portholes. I think I will start off with a hood ornament from showtrix. Portholes will have to wait.

tbone
09-03-2010, 03:43 PM
I hope these go the way of the "crown" air fresheners that used to be in back windows of every other car in Atlanta.

How about the stupid "Baby on Board" sign craze of the 80's?

Joe Walsh
09-11-2010, 06:44 PM
Part 9: M series Buick!

I'm cruising up I-95 this morning when I see a 3 series BMW with those lame ricer Altezza tail lights:
("I want my BMW to look like a Lexus IS250!"....:rolleyes:)

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2444.jpg

But......WAIT.....is that really?......NO WAY!.......OMFG!....:awe:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2445.jpg

BuickMW Douchebag shot off on the exit ramp once he saw me trying to take pictures while doubled over the Marauder's steering wheel, convulsing in laughter!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2446.jpg

fastblackmerc
09-12-2010, 04:48 AM
Joe, be careful laughing while driving can be dangerous!

Joe Walsh
09-14-2010, 03:01 PM
PART 10:

Driving over to Columbia, Md. on Route 175 today and I see this beauty up ahead:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2461.jpg

The owner must be an aerodynamics engineer because they are utilizing the rear window ventvisor to double as an aid to downforce above 40 mph!
INGENIOUS!!!....:bows:
Plus, The back half 'RatRod' paint job is very original!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2462.jpg

I can only think of two scenarios that would result in this placement and arrangement of the infamous Buick Portholes:

Scenario #1: "Let's do 4 bong hits, drink 4 shots of Tequila, then go mod our Honda!"

Scenario #2: "I just did a hit of acid and nowww I'm placing the Buick Portholes on my Honda's m-e-l-t-i-n-g fenderrrrr!"

I've completely eliminated the "These would look good on the Honda, especially if they looked like they were falling off !" scenario.

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2463.jpg

Pardon the blurry photo as I could not hold my camera still because I was laughing so hard!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2464.jpg

:hmmm:

I'm wondering if the wisps of smoke are supposed to look like they are coming out of the Buick Portholes...
closely imitating a Honda V-Tec engine as it expires???

tbone
09-14-2010, 03:09 PM
This is hands down the winner of the port hole contest!

Skinner
09-14-2010, 06:52 PM
Night-Rider light bars in the grille...

License plate frames with the lights chasing each other...

Chrome exhaust tips (secured with a set screw)...

Big crown air fresheners...

And who could forget the self-adhesive door lock anti-scratch-with-my-key-while-I-try-to-insert-said-key-while-drunk-and-I-can't-see-in-the-dark thingies with the Playboy bunny logo...

(I removed four of the above 'mods' from my first car ('79 Camero) before it left the seller's driveway. I left them with him and a look on his face that would make you think he watched me kick a stray puppy)

But now...I see Buick-inspired self-adhesive port holes...they're everywhere... I love it.

DEFYANT
09-14-2010, 07:02 PM
Thanks a lot Joe. Before this thread, I never noticed such non-sense! But now, I am just as offended by these stupid stick on vent holes that I find myself criticizing the real things on Buicks!

THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!

TWINSCRW
09-15-2010, 08:35 PM
I thought you might enjoy this for a chuckle.... or possibly make you throw up a little.
http://detroit.ebayclassifieds.com/cars/detroit/2001-crown-victoria/?ad=4739597&msg=OUT_OF_AREA

Joe Walsh
09-16-2010, 07:01 AM
This is hands down the winner of the port hole contest!

As 'tbone' noted, I was sure that the POS-melting-fender-portholed Honda would be the "No-Contest" winner in the :puke: Buick Porthole competition.

Hold the presses! We have a strong challenger:

Part 11:

I've always thought that the original Chevy Avalanche was the ugliest truck ever made.
(The Aztec is a small SUV so it doesn't qualify as a truck.)
In fact I call them the: "Avalanche of cheap plastic parts"

Now I know why I feel that way:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2430.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2434.jpg

"Hey Bubba! I glued on the fake hood scoops,
the faux chrome gas cap door,
bolted on the mileage killing windshield visor,
and the Ricer taillights,
added the chrome window ventvisors,
and then stuck on the Buick Port holes.....
I just need one more accent to make 'er look right...."

:hmmm:

"I got it!"

"Ima bolt a dead chicken on the front of the grille!"

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2433-1.jpg

This picture says it all:
V V V V V V V V V V V V

* Note how fitting all 3 signs are.....

Also check out the 2 pidgeons making a dive bombing run on the truck in revenge of their fallen chicken brother.

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2431-1.jpg

LIGHTNIN1
09-16-2010, 07:07 AM
HA! HA! That is a good one Joe. The only thing missing ai the set of bull horns on the front. And I agree the Avalanche to me wins the ugliest truck ever made award.

Joe Walsh
09-16-2010, 07:10 AM
HA! HA! That is a good one Joe. The only thing missing is the set of bull horns on the front. And I agree the Avalanche to me wins the ugliest truck ever made award.

LOL....I forgot to check if it had the Bull balls on the rear trailer hitch...

CBT
09-16-2010, 08:51 AM
Thread is full of awesome! Love the changes you make to thier plates, lol.

Joe Walsh
09-16-2010, 11:42 AM
Thread is full of awesome! Love the changes you make to thier plates, lol.

I'll post more as I see, and photograph them.

(I can only witness and capture a limited amount per week as my eyes are assaulted/hurt by them!)

Go2GuyFL
09-18-2010, 06:38 PM
Nice job, Joe. I've tried to snap a few shots and post up for you; however, phone on BlackBerry not that great:
- green older refrigerator box style Lincoln town car with 22" rims, faux ventiports and reflective 22" decal on trunk lid
- ventiports on a Lexus
and then finally,
- 3-axle van in Charlotte, NC during MV8 for sale $6900

Joe Walsh
11-02-2010, 04:57 AM
PART 12: FAIL!

My stepson found this hapless Mustang in a local parking lot and shot a few pictures of it.
He knows how I cringe whenever I see a 'modded' mess!
Technically these are not Buick port holes...but they serve the same function:
They destroy the car's looks!
http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/MexicanMustang3.jpg


The owner is obviously a chick magnet based on the twin chrome truck mudflap nudies on the back.
I'm not sure WTF is hanging from the rear valence....:dunno:
I think that Pooh Bear is checking out the single exhaust!


http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/MexicanMustang1-1.jpg


All the 'mods' are generating SO MUCH HP that the hood needs to be strapped down.

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/MexicanMustang2-1.jpg


AHHHHH!...This explains it all!...."Si!!"
(Note the safe and sound cracked windshield....yeah, that'll pass inspection.)
http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/MexicanMustang.jpg

CBT
11-02-2010, 08:38 AM
Nice, was it for sale?! Do want!!

LIGHTNIN1
11-02-2010, 10:37 AM
Amazing, even a custom windshield with fake cracks in it. Sign me up.

duhtroll
11-02-2010, 11:30 AM
You are all missing the point.

These cars do not have fake or real portholes. They have obviously been recently freed from the Matrix.

Dangit, you jerks! I had never noticed these on cars before and now, thanks to you, I see them everywhere and I want to stab myself in the eyes with a rusty spork.

PurdueRifleman
11-02-2010, 02:10 PM
One of my clients had the trifecta going on the other day with his 2007 Dodge Ram

-Chrome Truck Nuts
-Fake hood scoop accented with...
-stick on port holes from Autozone!

The guy was also a serious prick. Coincidence, I think not!

Leadfoot281
11-02-2010, 03:02 PM
Finally seen a set of these for the first time just a few days ago. They were on a 2000 or so Chevy Monte Car-slow with probably 20" rims.

Yuck.

secretservice
11-12-2010, 08:42 AM
As requested. :D
http://i918.photobucket.com/albums/ad21/secretservicemusclecars/BrownCounty096.jpg
http://i918.photobucket.com/albums/ad21/secretservicemusclecars/BrownCounty095.jpg

Blackened300a
11-12-2010, 09:05 AM
As requested. :D

I don't remember asking for them! :rolleyes:

Really?, did you purchase them and say to yourself, Wow wow wee wow, these would look realllllly spiffy on my vehicle gosh darn it!!!! :banana2::cool4:

You happen to finish your vehicle off with a set of Yosemitite Sam BACK OFF mudflaps and the brat sticker peeing on your least favorite car brand or sports team? :shake: :D

CBT
11-12-2010, 09:15 AM
That's it, I'm going to start taking pics of the rolling turds around here that have them.

secretservice
11-12-2010, 10:24 AM
That's it, I'm going to start taking pics of the rolling turds around here that have them.

It could be a sport around here.

secretservice
11-12-2010, 10:40 AM
I hate to throw some poor mm.net member under the bus, but I bumped into this car right here on the site. Sorry, but I must do this for your own good, poor soul.
http://i918.photobucket.com/albums/ad21/secretservicemusclecars/marauderportholes.jpg

Blackened300a
11-12-2010, 10:53 AM
I hate to throw some poor mm.net member under the bus, but I bumped into this car right here on the site. Sorry, but I must do this for your own good, poor soul.
http://i918.photobucket.com/albums/ad21/secretservicemusclecars/marauderportholes.jpg

Instead of bumping into it, try getting a running start and ramming it.

Rockettman
11-12-2010, 10:57 AM
Hey...if the person can enjoy looking at that...uh...thing sitting in the driveway, then he should be hiding under the bus!
:puke:

secretservice
11-12-2010, 11:12 AM
Hey...if the person can enjoy looking at that...uh...thing sitting in the driveway, then he should be hiding under the bus!
:puke:

It could be worse. At least you can easily remove the wheels and stick on garbage. This is much more permanent.
http://www.carclassifiedsbystate.com/15/2003/mercury/marauder/standard/saint-louis/29825127/585/index.html

Rockettman
11-12-2010, 11:17 AM
^^^ good god! I can't even comment on that one.

secretservice
11-12-2010, 11:27 AM
^^^ good god! I can't even comment on that one.

Sad. Just sad.

Joe Walsh
11-12-2010, 01:31 PM
Are they re-making the Green Hornet movie??

Because with that ride Kato would get killed pretty quickly!

fastmerc03
11-17-2010, 02:48 PM
Found this uhh F150 in the parking lot today

http://i974.photobucket.com/albums/ae223/danmn13/porthole.png

Joe Walsh
11-17-2010, 02:50 PM
Found this uhh F150 in the parking lot today

http://i974.photobucket.com/albums/ae223/danmn13/porthole.png

I've heard of "murdered out" cars...but a "chromed out" truck??...:puke:

CBT
11-17-2010, 03:23 PM
I've heard of "murdered out" cars...but a "chromed out" truck??...:puke:
Hey! Gay cowboys need trucks too ya know.

fastmerc03
11-17-2010, 04:42 PM
I've heard of "murdered out" cars...but a "chromed out" truck??...:puke:

Go to a cattle show and you will be surprised at the amount of chromed out trucks haha
Too much money and not enough taste at some of those events lol

Joe Walsh
07-16-2011, 02:42 PM
Part 13:
Poorly prepped Panther!
Last night I saw this outside.....you guessed it.......WalMart!!!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/PortholedGrandMarquis.jpg

More hideous Port Holes....only this time it's a poor Panther!

droppointalpha
07-16-2011, 04:25 PM
First, a thanx to you friendly guys for helping get a new owner straight on a minor issue. Appreciate it.

Second, I'm glad someone else notices these too... although where I live, half of the owners of such sad travesties are gentlemen of a 'hood' persuasion... or at least believe they are. I never liked fake accents or detailing of any kind... something which looks like that which it is not annoys me greatly.

And yet, I must admit when my '94 Buick Century (drive 380mi to work car-less than 50k mi on it so far) finally gets up there and I need it no longer for the task, I fully intended to do alittle conversion work which included venting the engine compartment (actually doing so, not this fake mess) as the steam engine will be jacketed to hold heat but I do not need the rest of the compartment cooking at 180-something degrees...

So, I put forward the question. Real, actual venting of the engine compartment is fine (if tastefully done) or always ugly? (note such venting will be of some size so as to keep good flow and would not be in this silly 'porthole' arrangement which I find insulting as a merchant mariner)

Papillon
07-16-2011, 06:44 PM
^^^ WELCOME TO THE SITE DROPPOINTALPHA!!!! Make sure you check out the Marauderville 9 thread and hopefully make it to the event!

As far as port holes, I think we saw the WORST yesterday - It was a Dodge Magnum with lambo doors, chrome trim eeeeeeverywhere, about 5 or 6 port holes on each side of the car, green, blue and orange LED headlights that changed color in sync to the "ice cream truck" music he had playing!!!! :shake:

I wanted to take pics & video but Paul wouldn't let me. :depress: Lol

Baaad GN
07-16-2011, 09:13 PM
Geeeeeeeeeez I don't know if I should mention this, when I purchased a car for my wife in 1987 I talked to my friends at GM to see if I could get some REAL GNX vents, note I called them vents not port holes and they fixed me up with some real ones. I know my car is not a GNX and the only part I used from it is the vents and I like them on my Grand National. Please note I'm an Old white guys so I don't know what you young men would call me! Hmmm maybe I don't want to know!! LOL

Joe Walsh
07-17-2011, 06:13 AM
Geeeeeeeeeez I don't know if I should mention this, when I purchased a car for my wife in 1987 I talked to my friends at GM to see if I could get some REAL GNX vents, note I called them vents not port holes and they fixed me up with some real ones. I know my car is not a GNX and the only part I used from it is the vents and I like them on my Grand National. Please note I'm an Old white guys so I don't know what you young men would call me! Hmmm maybe I don't want to know!! LOL

Totally different thing....

First off, your car is actually a Buick! (and a nasty one at that!)
Second, those GNX vents are nice looking....not some faux chrome Pep Boys stick on ports.

SC Cheesehead
07-17-2011, 11:17 AM
Still waiting to see the pix of your car with 'em installed, Joe... ;)

cpe6
07-17-2011, 11:40 AM
They are horrible on the incorrect vehicle and to make matters worse some people dont use the correct amount for a V6 or V8.

Baaad GN
07-17-2011, 01:45 PM
I never knew there was a correct amount. but ya Joe it is a buick, the only thing I have to do yet is make them real by cutting a hole into engine compartment, they now make a kit to do that.

Go2GuyFL
07-17-2011, 06:17 PM
Saw a car with the faux ports afixed to the DOORS!!! Hope to find it again so I can post a pic ... three to a side.

Joe Walsh
07-17-2011, 06:20 PM
Saw a car with the faux ports afixed to the DOORS!!! Hope to find it again so I can post a pic ... three to a side.

So.....:hmmm:.......the front doors were obviuosly V6 powered!

BTW: Please post your picture of the aformentioned abortion.

Shaijack
07-17-2011, 09:35 PM
You guys made me feel bad. I used a hole cutter to do my MM. I forgot and put 5 on each side. Can I cover the fifth hole with tape or something???

Vostok
07-17-2011, 11:08 PM
You guys made me feel bad. I used a hole cutter to do my MM. I forgot and put 5 on each side. Can I cover the fifth hole with tape or something???

lol ^^^^^^ :lol:

Joe Walsh
07-18-2011, 05:59 AM
You guys made me feel bad. I used a hole cutter to do my MM. I forgot and put 5 on each side. Can I cover the fifth hole with tape or something???

Naw....you're OK.....Just pretend that you have a V10 Buick.

fastblackmerc
07-18-2011, 06:05 AM
You guys made me feel bad. I used a hole cutter to do my MM. I forgot and put 5 on each side. Can I cover the fifth hole with tape or something???

Yes you can... Duck tape comes in red, black, silver or blue.....

SC Cheesehead
07-18-2011, 06:21 AM
Yes you can... Duck tape comes in red, black, silver or blue.....

You can fix ANYTHING if you've got a hammer, vice grip, and the aforementioned tape...

http://listsoplenty.com/pix/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Duct-tape-car-repair.jpg

Shaijack
07-18-2011, 08:17 AM
I need Blue and Black. Thanks.

Joe Walsh
07-18-2011, 08:28 AM
Yes you can... Duck tape comes in red, black, silver or blue.....

Just remember to put the duct tape over the 5th hole.....not the 2nd hole!....:eek:

droppointalpha
07-21-2011, 12:26 PM
size is big... but they're so small...

http://i853.photobucket.com/albums/ab91/droppointalpha/2011-07-20_13-34-52_423.jpg

http://i853.photobucket.com/albums/ab91/droppointalpha/2011-07-20_13-35-16_780.jpg

Go2GuyFL
10-02-2011, 06:42 PM
Not faux; rather, real Buick port holes.

Mr. Man
10-02-2011, 09:41 PM
Not faux; rather, real Buick port holes.
Is it still packing the six under the bonnet?

Go2GuyFL
10-09-2011, 08:14 AM
I didn't get to talk with the owner.

Joe Walsh
03-23-2012, 05:41 PM
Well folks....I apologize for not keeping you updated on recent "Port Hole' sightings.
I've got a few doozies that I will post over the next few days.
( I don't want to spill all the beans in one post!)

PART 14:

Hey Jake!
This Mopar owner said that he was hunting for a Black Marauder with "DOOM" plates.
He wants to crush you in a race!
Judging by the 4 Portholes and the V6 badges, I think that he has the perfect sleeper!
Watch out for this bad azz Charger....saw him in Beltsville this week.

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4452.jpg

I think that is a chrome Trans Am air duct to vent all that heat from the engine compartment!....errrrr........ lower door!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4451.jpg

Nothing strikes more fear than a Mopar 3.5L oil burning V6!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4453.jpg

MOTOWN
03-23-2012, 05:56 PM
:click::toss:

DOOM
03-24-2012, 08:24 AM
Well folks....I apologize for not keeping you updated on recent "Port Hole' sightings.
I've got a few doozies that I will post over the next few days.
( I don't want to spill all the beans in one post!)

PART 14:

Hey Jake!
This Mopar owner said that he was hunting for a Black Marauder with "DOOM" plates.
He wants to crush you in a race!
Judging by the 4 Portholes and the V6 badges, I think that he has the perfect sleeper!
Watch out for this bad azz Charger....saw him in Beltsville this week.

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4452.jpg

I think that is a chrome Trans Am air duct to vent all that heat from the engine compartment!....errrrr........ lower door!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4451.jpg

Nothing strikes more fear than a Mopar 3.5L oil burning V6!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4453.jpg


Uh oh!!! :hide:

Go2GuyFL
03-24-2012, 06:57 PM
This post begs the following questions:
- How many packs of faux ports did the owner buy? I always thought they came in sets of three. That would provide nine ports.
- If so, what did the owner do with the spare? Assuming there are eight currently affixed.

Odinson
04-24-2012, 12:39 PM
Great thread. One thing to add. I actually like these portholes. Might even be able to install the originally intended fire effect, with the gas pedal. :)

http://jonvolk.smugmug.com/Video/Mustang/14004269_mPt7h#!i=1097185004&k=8LGRA&lb=1&s=A (http://jonvolk.smugmug.com/Video/Mustang/14004269_mPt7h#%21i=1097185004&k=8LGRA&lb=1&s=A)

Nah on second though, I don't even like this one. LOL.

Joe Walsh
04-24-2012, 12:51 PM
Great thread. One thing to add. I actually like these portholes. Might even be able to install the originally intended fire effect, with the gas pedal. :)

http://jonvolk.smugmug.com/Video/Mustang/14004269_mPt7h#!i=1097185004&k=8LGRA&lb=1&s=A (http://jonvolk.smugmug.com/Video/Mustang/14004269_mPt7h#%21i=1097185004&k=8LGRA&lb=1&s=A)

Nah on second though, I don't even like this one. LOL.

Now THAT is a badazz porthole!

Though it would do serious damage to your groin while leaning on the fender to tune the engine!

Mr. Man
04-24-2012, 07:17 PM
Well folks....I apologize for not keeping you updated on recent "Port Hole' sightings.
I've got a few doozies that I will post over the next few days.
( I don't want to spill all the beans in one post!)

PART 14:

Hey Jake!
This Mopar owner said that he was hunting for a Black Marauder with "DOOM" plates.
He wants to crush you in a race!
Judging by the 4 Portholes and the V6 badges, I think that he has the perfect sleeper!
Watch out for this bad azz Charger....saw him in Beltsville this week.

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4452.jpg

I think that is a chrome Trans Am air duct to vent all that heat from the engine compartment!....errrrr........ lower door!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4451.jpg

Nothing strikes more fear than a Mopar 3.5L oil burning V6!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4453.jpg
Guess he/she doesn't realize 6 cyl cars came with 3 ports per side not 4 :shake:

Haggis
04-25-2012, 05:09 AM
I think that is a chrome Trans Am air duct to vent all that heat from the engine compartment!....errrrr........ lower door!

That's for the after White Castle run.

Joe Walsh
04-26-2012, 01:47 PM
Guess he/she doesn't realize 6 cyl cars came with 3 ports per side not 4 :shake:

Yeah, but 4 portholes = more power!

(Just like V-Tec stickers)

Joe Walsh
05-04-2012, 09:15 PM
......................

Joe Walsh
05-04-2012, 09:18 PM
PART 15:

The Teutonic Trifecta of Terrible Turds!

UH OH......An Audibortion!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4492.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4493.jpg



OH NO....Say it aint so!?!?!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4449.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4450.jpg



NICE MERCEDES ML500!!!

SWEET RIMS...BUT WAIT!?


NO!!!!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4462.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4460.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4461.jpg


How could someone buy such nice rims then wreck the vehicle with Buick Portholes on a friggin' Mercedes???......:eek:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4463.jpg

ChiTownMaraud3r
05-04-2012, 10:49 PM
LOL....I forgot to check if it had the Bull balls on the rear trailer hitch...



http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_2430.jpg



You can actually see the sack hanging off the back of the truck in this pic Joe. :up:

Joe Walsh
05-23-2012, 03:10 PM
PART 16:

DING DING DING DING!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

We have a winner!!!.......errrr......... LOSER!!!

Lamborghini, Ferrari and Jaguar best beware of this awesome ride.

Feast your eyes on this V12 Toyota.....LIMITED!!

(Limited brain function by the owner....no doubt!)


http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/2012-05-04_11-52-04_732.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/2012-05-04_11-48-36_795-1.jpg

Looks like he might have a misfire on cylinder #8

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/2012-05-04_11-48-55_876.jpg

Fosters
05-23-2012, 03:58 PM
. .

Bluerauder
05-23-2012, 05:01 PM
Feast your eyes on this [B]V12 Toyota!

I miscounted. Thought it was a V-14 for a second !! ;)

Joe Walsh
05-23-2012, 08:01 PM
Looks like he's got another parts truck coming to supply him with a fresh porthole for that broken one on the driver side... Serious bidness!

LOL!
Good eye....the owner of this badazz V12 Toyota was in the Advance Auto Parts store perusing more stick-on bling items to purchase!


I miscounted. Thought it was a V-14 for a second !! ;)

Actually based on the number of portholes glued on his fenders.....I think that he is only packing a V11.

IwantmyMMnow!
05-23-2012, 08:09 PM
PART 16:

DING DING DING DING!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

We have a winner!!!.......errrr......... LOSER!!!

Lamborghini, Ferrari and Jaguar best beware of this awesome ride.

Feast your eyes on this V12 Toyota!






Looks like he might have a misfire on cylinder #8

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/2012-05-04_11-48-55_876.jpg

It's a hybrid V12....

CBT
05-24-2012, 05:09 AM
LMAO!! Joe, how you find these crap mobiles?!

Ozark Marauder
05-24-2012, 08:36 AM
http://www.ls1gto.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=31 835&d=1143334478

WOW..........a 6 cylinder GTO

OZ

Rockettman
05-24-2012, 08:45 AM
Up to 10 pages!
It amazes me (and makes me bust out laughing), how popular these stick-ons are.
I couldn't use them; even as a joke!
Great thread for entertainment.

IwantmyMMnow!
05-24-2012, 08:59 AM
Get yours before they're sold out!!! Many styles to choose from...

http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=buick+portholes

I'm gonna buy like 50 of 'em and line 'em up just above the body trim...V50 biatches!!!

Mr. Man
05-24-2012, 09:19 AM
Better explanation of the Buick portholes

VentiPorts
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/28/1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JPG/220px-1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JPG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JP G) http://bits.wikimedia.org/static-1.20wmf3/skins/common/images/magnify-clip.png (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JP G)
Buick Special or Super Sedan, 1951.


A traditional Buick styling cue dating to 1949 is a series of three or four vents on the front fender behind the front wheels. The source of this design feature was a custom car (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Custom_car) of Buick stylist Ned Nickles, which in addition had a flashing light within each hole each synchronized with a specific spark plug simulating the flames from the exhaust stack of a fighter airplane. Combined with the bombsight mascot (introduced in 1946), VentiPorts put the driver at the controls of an imaginary fighter airplane. The flashing light feature was not used by Buick in production, but VentiPorts remained as nonfunctional ornamentation.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/96/Fedora_boy_1952.jpg/220px-Fedora_boy_1952.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fedora_boy_1952.jpg) http://bits.wikimedia.org/static-1.20wmf3/skins/common/images/magnify-clip.png (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fedora_boy_1952.jpg)
1949 Buick with VentiPorts (1952).


They were called VentiPorts because the 1949 sales brochure noted that VentiPorts helped ventilate the engine compartment. The suggestion was made that they allowed air flow out of the engine bay. Air entered from the grill into the engine bay and was pressurized by the radiator fan, and exited through the VentiPorts. And possibly that was true in early 1949, but sometime during the model year they became plugged. VentiPorts have appeared sporadically on several models since and are currently featured on three of the four current Buick models.
When introduced, the number of VentiPorts (three or four) denoted the size of straight-eight engine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straight-eight_engine) installed. Since displacement differences in straight-eight engines resulted in more dramatic differences in engine length than on V8s, the Buick Roadmaster (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Roadmaster) (which was the only model at this time with the larger engine) needed a longer chassis in front of the cowl to accommodate the larger engine. Thus an extra VentiPort also corresponded directly to the necessary extra length in front. After the more compact V8 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V8) replaced the straight-eight engine in 1953 this difference in chassis length was no longer needed. Nevertheless, the convention remained. Consequently, when the Buick Century (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Century), which shared the Buick Special (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Special)'s smaller body, was reintroduced in 1954, it also received four VentiPorts to denote its engine's greater displacement. However, in 1955, the Buick Super (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Super), which shared Roadmaster's larger body, was promoted from three to four VentiPorts despite having the smaller displacement engine. In turn, the Buick Invicta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Invicta) which took the place of the Buick Century in 1959, and consequently had the smaller body with the larger displacement engine, was demoted from four to three VentiPorts on introduction. Thus the number of VentiPorts came to denote body size rather than engine size. VentiPorts appeared on all Buicks from 1949 through 1957, and on most Buicks (notable exceptions include the Buick Wildcat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Wildcat), the Buick Riviera (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Riviera) and the Buick Centurion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Centurion)) from 1960 through 1981.
In 2003 VentiPorts were re-introduced on the Buick Park Avenue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Park_Avenue). After the Park Avenue was discontinued, Buick salvaged the VentiPorts to appear on the new-for-2006 Lucerne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Lucerne). Consistent with the tradition that held from 1949 through 1954, the Lucerne's VentiPorts refer directly to engine size: V6 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V6_engine) models have three on each side, while V8s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V8_engine) have four on each side.
Modern and edgy compared to the oval ones that adorned Buicks for years, the new VentiPorts have become a Buick-wide talisman again and are currently featured in one form or another on the Lucerne, the popular Enclave and, for 2010, along the inner hood ridges of the redesigned LaCrosse.

Joe Walsh
05-24-2012, 07:14 PM
Better explanation of the Buick portholes

VentiPorts
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/28/1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JPG/220px-1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JPG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JP G) http://bits.wikimedia.org/static-1.20wmf3/skins/common/images/magnify-clip.png (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1951_Buick_Eight_Sedan.JP G)
Buick Special or Super Sedan, 1951.


A traditional Buick styling cue dating to 1949 is a series of three or four vents on the front fender behind the front wheels. The source of this design feature was a custom car (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Custom_car) of Buick stylist Ned Nickles, which in addition had a flashing light within each hole each synchronized with a specific spark plug simulating the flames from the exhaust stack of a fighter airplane. Combined with the bombsight mascot (introduced in 1946), VentiPorts put the driver at the controls of an imaginary fighter airplane. The flashing light feature was not used by Buick in production, but VentiPorts remained as nonfunctional ornamentation.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/96/Fedora_boy_1952.jpg/220px-Fedora_boy_1952.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fedora_boy_1952.jpg) http://bits.wikimedia.org/static-1.20wmf3/skins/common/images/magnify-clip.png (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fedora_boy_1952.jpg)
1949 Buick with VentiPorts (1952).


They were called VentiPorts because the 1949 sales brochure noted that VentiPorts helped ventilate the engine compartment. The suggestion was made that they allowed air flow out of the engine bay. Air entered from the grill into the engine bay and was pressurized by the radiator fan, and exited through the VentiPorts. And possibly that was true in early 1949, but sometime during the model year they became plugged. VentiPorts have appeared sporadically on several models since and are currently featured on three of the four current Buick models.
When introduced, the number of VentiPorts (three or four) denoted the size of straight-eight engine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straight-eight_engine) installed. Since displacement differences in straight-eight engines resulted in more dramatic differences in engine length than on V8s, the Buick Roadmaster (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Roadmaster) (which was the only model at this time with the larger engine) needed a longer chassis in front of the cowl to accommodate the larger engine. Thus an extra VentiPort also corresponded directly to the necessary extra length in front. After the more compact V8 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V8) replaced the straight-eight engine in 1953 this difference in chassis length was no longer needed. Nevertheless, the convention remained. Consequently, when the Buick Century (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Century), which shared the Buick Special (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Special)'s smaller body, was reintroduced in 1954, it also received four VentiPorts to denote its engine's greater displacement. However, in 1955, the Buick Super (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Super), which shared Roadmaster's larger body, was promoted from three to four VentiPorts despite having the smaller displacement engine. In turn, the Buick Invicta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Invicta) which took the place of the Buick Century in 1959, and consequently had the smaller body with the larger displacement engine, was demoted from four to three VentiPorts on introduction. Thus the number of VentiPorts came to denote body size rather than engine size. VentiPorts appeared on all Buicks from 1949 through 1957, and on most Buicks (notable exceptions include the Buick Wildcat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Wildcat), the Buick Riviera (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Riviera) and the Buick Centurion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Centurion)) from 1960 through 1981.
In 2003 VentiPorts were re-introduced on the Buick Park Avenue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Park_Avenue). After the Park Avenue was discontinued, Buick salvaged the VentiPorts to appear on the new-for-2006 Lucerne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buick_Lucerne). Consistent with the tradition that held from 1949 through 1954, the Lucerne's VentiPorts refer directly to engine size: V6 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V6_engine) models have three on each side, while V8s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V8_engine) have four on each side.
Played out and lame compared to the oval ones that adorned Buicks for years, the new VentiPorts have become a Buick-wide talisman again and are currently featured in one form or another on the Lucerne, the popular Enclave and, for 2010, along the inner hood ridges of the redesigned LaCrosse.....
as well as any ubiquitous POS driven by numbskulls who love to waste money on Walmart stick-ons..

There.....fixed it for ya!!!....:2thumbs:

IwantmyMMnow!
05-24-2012, 07:30 PM
Joe....I get the feeling that you're not a big fan of stick-on portholes...yes?

:lol:

marauder410
05-24-2012, 09:35 PM
are you serious noone likes the portholes damn i thought they were in style i just put four on each side of my car for v-8 i love them :rolleyes: :bs:;):P:D:puke::lol:

Mr. Man
05-24-2012, 10:35 PM
There.....fixed it for ya!!!....:2thumbs:
Well knowing what slang LaCrosse means in French-Canada one could extrapolate that the portholes may actually glory holes:D

Joe Walsh
05-25-2012, 05:34 PM
Well knowing what slang LaCrosse means in French-Canada one could extrapolate that the portholes may actually glory holes:D

Reminds me of this SNL commercial:

6Qe_-MrKaoU

RF Overlord
05-26-2012, 10:17 AM
Buick port holes belong on Buicks.

Roadwarrior
05-27-2012, 04:03 AM
Buick port holes belong on Buicks.
:agree: with the previous statement.

Go2GuyFL
05-27-2012, 05:33 AM
Appears this hauler increased capacity by improving engine breath ability ...
29359
29360

Bluerauder
05-27-2012, 06:09 AM
Can we change the title of this thread to "Buick VentiPorts" ???

Pat
06-09-2012, 07:40 PM
We are looking at purchasing a new Buick Lacrosse and the first thing I noticed is that the port holes or as Charlie says, "Ventiports" are on top of the hood and not readily visible from the side.

Heresy, I say. It was never intended to hide the ports, in fact they were to be highly visible even with lights, synced to each cylinder firing.

Besides, the Buick hide a port, as it should be called, are not really separate ports but a three bagger, one 3 bag per side.

What is the matter with Buick, no sense of history?

The car will prolly cost north of 36K and I'll have to go to Wal-Mart to buy six ports three for each side. Wonder if the dealer will install them, gratis, if I link it to the purchase.

http://img.autoholics.org/i/2012-buick-lacrosse.jpg

Go2GuyFL
06-15-2012, 04:13 PM
Three today!
29627
29628
29629

Comin' in Hot
06-16-2012, 03:25 AM
I can't figure out if this guy is entering the Dakar Rally or going ghetto cruisin' due to the Toyota decals and the fender and C pillar portholes. With such a limited edition 4 x 4 as stated on the C pillar, I'm questioning if this vehicle is too valuable for either use?
http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b335/Witman40/228c3129.jpg

Go2GuyFL
06-18-2012, 09:47 AM
Here's one today ...
29657

Joe Walsh
09-07-2012, 06:47 PM
Three today!
29627
29628
29629


I can't figure out if this guy is entering the Dakar Rally or going ghetto cruisin' due to the Toyota decals and the fender and C pillar portholes. With such a limited edition 4 x 4 as stated on the C pillar, I'm questioning if this vehicle is too valuable for either use?
http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b335/Witman40/228c3129.jpg


Here's one today ...
29657

GAG!!!....COUGH!!!....SPEW!!!

:puke:

Wow those are hideous!

PART 17:

I couldn't get in front of this guy to get a picture of his awesome glued on "venti-ports"....his V-Tec was just to powerful for my 3.sl0w Ranger!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/001.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/002.jpg

DWSTANG67
09-07-2012, 07:28 PM
I'm still holding-out for .....

http://www.gdmjoe.com/2007interceptorfendervent.jpg
*2007 Interceptor concept.

If they built the interceptor i would have bought one, but looking at fords lineup i doubt you will ever see something like that.

I seen it at Carlise my son and myself were checking it out.

DWSTANG67
09-07-2012, 07:45 PM
There was some cars were ports did look good


remember the 1987 GNX

http://i1104.photobucket.com/albums/h322/DWSTANG67/S87GNX.jpg

Mr. Man
09-07-2012, 10:21 PM
There was some cars were ports did look good


remember the 1987 GNX

http://i1104.photobucket.com/albums/h322/DWSTANG67/S87GNX.jpg
Um it's a Buick, hence the portholes:shake: No cookie for you 2 months:D

tbone
09-08-2012, 12:41 AM
I had an '86 Regal stolen out of my driveway back in '92. I had major plans for that V6 Coupe because of the timeless body style......
I came of age when the Grand National was sitting on dealer showrooms and I could afford it after finishing college. The body style is nothing short of OMG gorgeous! The thing that held me back from buying it was the guages. I mean, a speedo and a gas guage and nothing else? And rather plain guages as well. It just did not fit the performance and exterior of the car. Guys I knew did a guage conversion, but why GM did not do a guage package like on the Cutlass's of the time and before that is beyond me......My girlfriends '79 Cutlass had better guages.....

Joe Walsh
09-22-2012, 12:41 PM
PART 18:

Holy Chrome Tack-ons Batman!!!!

I saw this badazz Chevy the other evening:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4996_zps7adf26a4.jpg

I think that the monster chrome wheel well guards forced the crooked application of the Buick Portholes:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4995_zps16075050.jpg

guspech750
09-22-2012, 01:58 PM
Holy Chrome Tack-ons Batman!!!!

I saw this badazz Chevy the other evening:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4996_zps7adf26a4.jpg

I think that the monster chrome wheel well guards forced the crooked application of the Buick Portholes:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_4995_zps16075050.jpg

Maybe they are actually functional.




;)


Sent from my iPhone

4.10's + Eaton swap = Wreeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom

Go2GuyFL
10-21-2012, 02:41 PM
This truck had so much junk stuck to it besides the faux venti ports. Below rear quarter panel 4x4 decals were also chrome played 4x4 stick ons.

31711

ajdereicup
10-21-2012, 03:28 PM
This threads full of good laughs

Go2GuyFL
10-27-2012, 03:14 PM
Seen in Jacksonville's Town Center yesterday ...
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/12/10/28/9a6yzyqa.jpg
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/12/10/28/ujubazud.jpg

Go2GuyFL
11-11-2012, 03:53 PM
Seen in Palm Coast, FL leaving Walmart ...
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/12/11/12/6u3erygu.jpg

Mr. Man
11-11-2012, 04:01 PM
Saw a Maserati Quattroporte today with the 3 vent holes. I'd buy it anyway :cool:

Go2GuyFL
11-13-2012, 06:32 AM
Palm Coast Wal-Mart must be making lotsa money ...http://img.tapatalk.com/d/12/11/13/e8y2ysab.jpg

Rockettman
11-14-2012, 10:00 AM
Saw a Maserati Quattroporte today with the 3 vent holes. I'd buy it anyway :cool:

That's the "faster" model :P

JBFTech
12-20-2012, 05:51 PM
32345
AND hood pins...


Sent from my SR-71 using Tapatalk

Joe Walsh
12-22-2012, 02:27 PM
PART 19:

Saw this beauty outside.....you guessed it!

WALMART!

Nothing says cool German quality like a BMW with goth portholes!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5122.jpg

Owner is a tad bit confused, as all portholes should be on one side of a car with an inline 6 cylinder....:shake:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5123.jpg

Joe Walsh
01-09-2013, 05:02 PM
PART # 20:

You guys thought that the previously posted V12 TerdYOTA was badazz....

Take a look at this road rocket!

He's packin' a V6 under the hood and a V6 in the trunk!!!!........:eek:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5117.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5118.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5121-1.jpg

He obviously has a misfire on #6 in the front engine!!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5120.jpg

The rear wing IS REQUIRED for such a HIGH horsepower car!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5119.jpg

Black Dynamite
01-09-2013, 05:09 PM
Well that's one way to upgrade to AWD. And the rear wheel steering would make for same rad crabbin' when you're cruisin for the babes.

Go2GuyFL
01-09-2013, 08:34 PM
PART # 20:You guys thought that the previously posted V12 TerdYOTA was badazz.... Take a look at this road rocket!

Must be used as a bank robb'n getaway car ... missing hub caps on driver's side. Police will get two opposing descriptions from bystanders.

rocky
01-09-2013, 09:23 PM
Spotted this at Walmart a while back32583


Sent from my iPhone 5

Go2GuyFL
01-10-2013, 03:10 AM
This is the showpiece of a local mobile detailer ... Lambo doors on a Charger:

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/01/10/u3e5ury8.jpg

Cheeseheadbob
01-10-2013, 07:58 AM
I guess this is an example of the über rare "backward drift car" judging from the direction of the radical flames...:D Oh, and nice dual spots!
http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=32 583&d=1357791790


Spotted this at Walmart a while back32583


Sent from my iPhone 5

rocky
01-10-2013, 09:58 AM
I guess this is an example of the über rare "backward drift car" judging from the direction of the radical flames...:D Oh, and nice dual spots!
http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=32 583&d=1357791790

There is a lot going on with this one, he must have a field day at autozone


Sent from my iPhone 5

RichardP
01-11-2013, 09:27 AM
http://imageshack.us/a/img29/932/24867147470813076606372.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/29/24867147470813076606372.jpg/)



A friend's versa

ajdereicup
01-11-2013, 10:07 PM
Friends don't let friends put Buick holes on nonbuicks:D

RichardP
01-12-2013, 12:06 PM
Friends don't let friends put Buick holes on nonbuicks:D
I failed him,I know it.:puke:

JoeBoomz
02-15-2013, 07:27 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/16/yjuqe7yh.jpg

Holey Honda Pilot, batman!

L.Mark
02-15-2013, 07:53 PM
I had the oval ones on my '95 Fleetwood Brougham. Technically in the Buick family. Even went junkyard hunting for real ones. I thought they looked good, still do. But only on certain older big cars. My Mark V has 3 Delerosa designed vents behind the front wheels. Wouldn't put the ports on the Marauder, but if the right one came along(non plastice stickem) I'd consider it.

Ladyhawke
02-15-2013, 08:01 PM
I had the oval ones on my '95 Fleetwood Brougham. Technically in the Buick family. Even went junkyard hunting for real ones. I thought they looked good, still do. But only on certain older big cars. My Mark V has 3 Delerosa designed vents behind the front wheels. Wouldn't put the ports on the Marauder, but if the right one came along(non plastice stickem) I'd consider it.

Turn in your Man Card.

L.Mark
02-15-2013, 08:08 PM
Can't :D...........................m y wife has it in her purse:depress:

J-MAN
02-16-2013, 04:56 AM
Can't :D...........................m y wife has it in her purse:depress:

I hate that. Do you have to beg her for it if you go out with the guys? :(

L.Mark
02-16-2013, 09:19 PM
Hell no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sneak in when she's asleep and get it

Go2GuyFL
02-18-2013, 06:36 PM
Two from Daytona Beach ...

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/19/yneregu6.jpg

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/19/qa7uvu9u.jpg

Mebot
02-19-2013, 07:01 AM
man those eyelashes are hideous

Sent from my handheld Zack Morris iShoe 4S.

CBT
02-19-2013, 07:04 AM
I'm not seeing the problem here. Me likey.


Two from Daytona Beach ...


http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/19/qa7uvu9u.jpg

Joe Walsh
02-19-2013, 07:36 AM
Two from Daytona Beach ...

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/19/yneregu6.jpg

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/19/qa7uvu9u.jpg

Those turds don't have port holes....:dunno:

They should be posted in my other thread, "Automotive Abortions"

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/showthread.php?t=78363

This thread is for 'Tards like this:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5207_zpse72c7406.jpg

I think that the guy towing the trailer in the right side of the picture was attempting to drag that Civic to the junkyard!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5210_zpsc8a5fc63.jpg

Obviously this turd Honda is packin' a slant 6.....:shake:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5208_zps53dd8b36.jpg

IwantmyMMnow!
02-19-2013, 08:03 AM
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/19/yneregu6.jpg


I'm not seeing the problem here. Me likey.

***Fixed***

CBT
02-19-2013, 08:04 AM
I'd rather have the 2 egg mcmuffins and the trailer than that piece of crap.

Joe Walsh
02-19-2013, 08:18 AM
I'd rather have the 2 egg mcmuffins and the trailer than that piece of crap.

LOL

Yep....Can't imagine being fated to drive a Honda Civic.........:shake:......... especially one adorned with glued on Buick portholes, and especially considering that it was their choice!

Go2GuyFL
02-21-2013, 12:27 PM
Those turds don't have port holes....:dunno:

They should be posted in my other thread, "Automotive Abortions"

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/showthread.php?t=78363

Sorry, Joe! Got carried away seeing the eyelashes as stick-ons.

boatmangc
03-02-2013, 05:50 AM
Genesis Baby!!!!!
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h9/boatmangc/IMG_2510_zps712ac9ab.jpg

http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h9/boatmangc/IMG_2509_zps063d6e6c.jpg

L.Mark
03-04-2013, 01:50 AM
at least he could have angled the portholes to match the sweep of the car....:rolleyes:

Go2GuyFL
03-15-2013, 03:44 AM
Caught this one as the driver was weaving between lanes ...

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/03/15/4u3e9ydu.jpg

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/03/15/8usu8usy.jpg

JBFTech
03-15-2013, 04:22 AM
33281

At work yesterday

CBT
03-15-2013, 05:15 AM
On the door, WINNING !!



Caught this one as the driver was weaving between lanes ...

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/03/15/4u3e9ydu.jpg

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/03/15/8usu8usy.jpg

Black Dynamite
03-15-2013, 10:49 AM
33281

At work yesterday


Oh dear God..... I can't say as I blame them. If I were stuck driving the abomination that is the Windstar I'd try anything I could to zazz it up a bit too.

boatmangc
04-14-2013, 04:49 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/04/15/enynu8ad.jpg

I don't think there are any more bolt or glue on options left available for this one


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Mebot
04-20-2013, 10:26 AM
saw this today parked near the Leesburg Flower & Garden show
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/04/21/nadysupa.jpg



sent from space

License2Bill
04-20-2013, 11:03 AM
I don't have a picture of it yet, but there's an Infiniti G35 coupe around me that has them stuck on and they're crooked to boot!

IwantmyMMnow!
04-20-2013, 11:08 AM
saw this today parked near the Leesburg Flower & Garden show

sent from space

Looks like someone got their tax refund money and put it to good use...not...

Mebot
04-20-2013, 11:16 AM
Looks like someone got their tax refund money and put it to good use...not...

I liked the skull symbol on the bottom bumper....

but thats about it

sent from space

rocky
04-25-2013, 08:29 AM
33943
On a X5?



Sent from my iPhone 5

JBFTech
04-25-2013, 11:16 AM
33944
Must be an EcoBuick F-150!

IwantmyMMnow!
04-25-2013, 11:30 AM
33944
Must be an EcoBuick F-150!

OMG...that's just *$*%&ing stupid. The owner should have their license revoked and be made to watch the below clip for 3 straight days....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aELcXyjpts

RF Overlord
04-25-2013, 02:18 PM
Repeat after me: "Portholes belong on Buicks."

"ONLY!"

SC Cheesehead
05-06-2013, 12:01 PM
Check out the spiffy portholes on the REAR of this Chicago TV news van... :shake:

J-MAN
05-06-2013, 12:57 PM
Check out the spiffy portholes on the REAR of this Chicago TV news van... :shake:

Chicago? More likely gun ports. :uzi:

bill64
05-06-2013, 01:02 PM
Check out the spiffy portholes on the REAR of this Chicago TV news van... :shake:
I bet the vents are functional on that. My 08' f250 has vents on the fenders and a lot of people think that they are just gimmicks untill i show them that they are real!!

Krytin
05-06-2013, 01:28 PM
Check out the spiffy portholes on the REAR of this Chicago TV news van... :shake:

Those are cable connections - hoods are to deflect rain water.

RF Overlord
05-06-2013, 01:35 PM
^^^what Krytin said^^^

They could also be actual vents for some of the electronics inside.

SC Cheesehead
05-06-2013, 01:47 PM
Chicago? More likely gun ports. :uzi:


I bet the vents are functional on that. My 08' f250 has vents on the fenders and a lot of people think that they are just gimmicks untill i show them that they are real!!


Those are cable connections - hoods are to deflect rain water.


^^^what Krytin said^^^

They could also be actual vents for some of the electronics inside.

Well finally, some FUINCTIONAL portholes! :D

rocky
06-21-2013, 02:09 PM
34856
In our shop


Sent from my iPhone 5

RF Overlord
06-21-2013, 02:14 PM
It's kinda obvious this one was meant as a joke, like the Police Interceptor badge I put on my lawnmower.

It's the nitwits who put them all over their Nissan Altimas who are wack.

Joe Walsh
02-23-2014, 07:26 PM
I haven't kept up with my Buick Port Hole sightings for some time....so here goes another round of crappy looking $h*tboxes!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5858_zps66af93d9.jpg (http://s984.photobucket.com/user/JoeJWalsh/media/IMG_5858_zps66af93d9.jpg.html)

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5856_zps776ed3a1.jpg (http://s984.photobucket.com/user/JoeJWalsh/media/IMG_5856_zps776ed3a1.jpg.html)

TOTAL coolness is only achieved by slanting the portholes....

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5857_zps8302227a.jpg (http://s984.photobucket.com/user/JoeJWalsh/media/IMG_5857_zps8302227a.jpg.html)

This rolling turd tried to hide behind a sign support post....but I still got a picture of the POS!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5852_zpsa6e42ecd.jpg (http://s984.photobucket.com/user/JoeJWalsh/media/IMG_5852_zpsa6e42ecd.jpg.html)

Flame stickers add 25 HP!
x3 = +75HP!!!

Don't forget....IT is a 'LIMITED'....:bows:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5853_zpseb172d8f.jpg (http://s984.photobucket.com/user/JoeJWalsh/media/IMG_5853_zpseb172d8f.jpg.html)

But!!!.....The stick-on hood scoop is worth 100HP.

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_5854_zpsa469fba2.jpg (http://s984.photobucket.com/user/JoeJWalsh/media/IMG_5854_zpsa469fba2.jpg.html)

2mercs
02-28-2014, 06:46 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/03/01/edy6ysur.jpg

Sent from my toaster using tapatalk

Mebot
03-06-2014, 04:43 PM
I'm not really sure what to make of this so that's why I'm posting these pics on this thread.

but I saw this vehicle on the way home today.
Looks like a Chevy S-10 pickup with Corvette rear tail lights in the back

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/03/07/3u3yvy9a.jpg
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/03/07/qy3equ2y.jpg
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/03/07/bunuza9y.jpg

Black Dynamite
03-06-2014, 05:23 PM
Weird... Why not put the lights in the roll pan?

L.Mark
03-06-2014, 05:30 PM
I'm not really sure what to make of this so that's why I'm posting these pics on this thread.

but I saw this vehicle on the way home today.
Looks like a Chevy S-10 pickup with Corvette rear tail lights in the back

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/03/07/3u3yvy9a.jpg
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/03/07/qy3equ2y.jpg
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/03/07/bunuza9y.jpg

wow:(...I've seen those kits for the full size Silverado of years gone by but not..in/on the tailgate...

Pat
03-16-2014, 05:52 AM
On Yahoo today is an article about the l951 Buick concept car, Harly Earl's personal car, the man who invented port holes. But no port holes on this one. I think they came in 1949. This car is amazing. Must read the article.
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTERqMmVLYmi A6RsmcWXLhR-NaTLpjJTqbwnkNOR5mO1zqI_velbdP P9PE (https://www.google.com/url?q=http://oldcarandtruckpictures.com/Buick/buick1950-1959.html&sa=U&ei=eJ4lU9izMMfK2AXlioA4&ved=0CEUQ9QEwDA&usg=AFQjCNGX2CouRdSqxyEK0AjaTL Am5oEgEQ)

GODFATHER
03-22-2014, 09:31 AM
i sure would like to have the money they make off these things ...its a ghetto fad :argue:

L.Mark
03-23-2014, 12:28 AM
On Yahoo today is an article about the l951 Buick concept car, Harly Earl's personal car, the man who invented port holes. But no port holes on this one. I think they came in 1949. This car is amazing. Must read the article.
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTERqMmVLYmi A6RsmcWXLhR-NaTLpjJTqbwnkNOR5mO1zqI_velbdP P9PE (https://www.google.com/url?q=http://oldcarandtruckpictures.com/Buick/buick1950-1959.html&sa=U&ei=eJ4lU9izMMfK2AXlioA4&ved=0CEUQ9QEwDA&usg=AFQjCNGX2CouRdSqxyEK0AjaTL Am5oEgEQ)


The 51 LeSabre was at the Kentucky State Fair a couple years back and wasn't roped off. Damn near got in the car. She need a cosmetic restoration though...was really cool being able to see AND touch this car...one of my favorite show cars...

License2Bill
04-25-2014, 07:35 AM
Hyundai suffering from the same affliction as the other cars in the thread. Owner is some punk that thinks he's cool, talks the talk but can't walk the walk. 38130

junior
04-25-2014, 09:51 AM
Don't know if someone already mentioned it, but most of those cars have transverse mounted motors...wouldn't that mean the portholes should be on the hood or grille or better yet dashboard?

Pat
04-25-2014, 11:48 AM
^^^^you are correct^^^^.

JoeBoomz
04-26-2014, 09:03 AM
That Hyundai has more port holes than cylinders. Hilarious.