Where's that 'Butt Hurt' form?

[CBT]

At 2:00 today I had a full physical. FULL. Physical. I knew what was going to happen, and thankfully, he saved it for last. I don’t think I would have allowed the Doctor to touch my ear, nose, throat, or take my blood pressure after the prostate exam. So, after all that and a reflex exam of the arms and knees, he says “drop ‘em.” Now I’m not the shy type but I don’t drop trou in front of strange men (sober) all the time, so I was a little nervous. I was trying to get a guesstimate of his hand size while he was writing down my info, and let me tell you, I think not only could he palm a basketball, I think he could palm a 255/50/18! He tells me to lean over the exam table and relax. Hey guess what doesn’t happen when you lean over an exam table buck naked? Relaxation! So I go ahead and do it while he turns in the chair to put his gloves on and then he turns back to me and says “I mean lean over the exam table facing AWAY from me.” I go “Sorry, I don’t do this every day.” (That’s what she said!) Yeah, I was leaned back chillin’ like a cowboy against a bar who just ordered a shot and was scoping out the crowd, hell I didn’t know. For all I know they could go through the front nowadays, sheesh. So I remove my…..self….from his immediate facial area and lean over, grudgingly, and say to myself “Self, think happy thoughts!” So I immediately thought of my MM.net homies, and the first thing I thought of was justbob yelling “It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again!” which caused me to snicker. So I tried to get that thought out of my head and for some reason I thought of Dom’s pink sock story. I almost passed out on my feet. So I brace myself and as I’m trying to relax KA-POW! he jumps right in and starts looking for the Lost Colony of Virginia or something! I have hurt my arse on an inflatable white water raft and a mountain bike, so judging by the feeling, he was using BOTH to try and find that lost colony. So while he’s, I don’t know, looking for Atlantis, I figure I’ll sing a song in my head to make the time go by. Friggin ‘Tiny Dancer’ by Elton John was the first song that came to mind so I grit “Nononono!” through my teeth and Doc says, “Almost done” and BLAMMO! pulls back like he’s trying to start a damn chainsaw or something. I saw stars. They were pretty and bright. So he says “Good to go!” and I stand up and he tells me blah blah blah cholesterol is good blah blah blah heart rate good, etc. etc. and stands up. So like I said, I don’t know exactly what the protocol for saying thanks is after a situation like this, by I knew damn good and well I wasn’t about to shake the hand that just violated me, so I went for the chest bump. He wasn’t feelin’ it. He stepped back, looked down at my underwear, and handed me my copy of the paperwork and walked out. I almost yelled “Oh, you’re just going to leave a brother hangin’?!” But I didn’t think he would find that very humorous. So I put my clothes back on and waddled to the men’s room to curl up on the floor and cry, but the floor was wet. Probably from the last guys tears. I cleaned up and went to check out, trying to think of something manly to say as I handed them my paperwork and I think I said something like “Well time to go finish my roof” or something to that affect. Then I walked (bowlegged) out to the Marauder and called guspech750 and said “Hey! A guy just stuck his finger up my butt!” I think he was ready to fly down here.
It was a good day today.

[guspech750]

Doc. Do I have to leave? I feel so at home. Yes Casey, you do.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSbgJlAFkg1T 4GYIbCiTQ0-32PrtQ8X7Ai9Z57RSWjtz4V2IRI&t=1&usg=__i1f8aIjWgh-Eaiivn-saGccZ5yI=

[Phrog_gunner]

You knew what was going to happen, yet you still didn't make an appointment with the WOMAN Dr? thsilly thsailor.....

[Motorhead350]

I forgot about the pink sock!

In before the lock!

:lol:

[CBT]

This is something all men will have to deal with. :(

[justbob]

THAT WAS AS FUNNY AS THE OLD HALAS THE CAT STORIES!!!! THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (AT YOUR EXPENSE)

I should share this on Facebook!!:)

[guspech750]

Funny thing is. He said on my voice mail that he was going to make an appointment for next Monday for a what Casey calls "A reexamination." Sounds fishy to me.

[CBT]

Yeah REAL funny! Getting :censor: man-handled! I was naked and alone. And naked.



THAT WAS AS FUNNY AS THE OLD HALAS THE CAT STORIES!!!! THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (AT YOUR EXPENSE)

I should share this on Facebook!!:)

[CBT]

Funny thing is. He said on my voice mail that he was going to make an appointment for next Monday for a what Casey calls "A reexamination." Sounds fishy to me.
The thought of immediately asking for a second opinion did cross my mind.

[guspech750]

Yeah REAL funny! Getting :censor: man-handled! I was naked and alone. And naked.
You were not alone. You were with another manhttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex011.gif

[CBT]

You were not alone. You were with another manhttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex011.gif

Give me my 80 dollars back.

[guspech750]

This thread is fun!!!

[Mr. Man]

I warned you not to order the lobster on your date with the doctor. Word on the street has you going back tomorrow for a follow up probe. Hope you took your mothers advice and wore clean underwear this time.:D

[CBT]

I warned you not to order the lobster on your date with the doctor. Word on the street has you going back tomorrow for a follow up probe. Hope you took your mothers advice and wore clean underwear this time.:D

I shoulda wore my yellow ones with the :) face.

[LANDY]

that was too funny!
im not looking foward to my 40th birthday.

[Mr. Man]

I shoulda wore my yellow ones with the :) face.
Yeah... yellow ones with the face on them...that's why they're yellow:D

[CBT]

I'm having after effects. When I rip ass, it sounds like someone is twisting a handfull of bubblewrap. PopopopopopoPOW!

[Mr. Man]

Happy face underwear man now has a mohawk

[justbob]

This thread will NEVER die!!

[DOOM]

this is something all men will have to deal with. :(

thats what she said!

[DOOM]

I'm having after effects. When I rip ass, it sounds like someone is twisting a handfull of bubblewrap. PopopopopopoPOW!

OMG!!! :eek:

WTF!!! :shake:

[justbob]

I'm having after effects. When I rip ass, it sounds like someone is twisting a handfull of bubblewrap. PopopopopopoPOW!
So what your saying is Mike did this to you right before I showed up the other night?? You were making the EXACT SAME SOUNDS!!!:shake:

[CBT]

And it smells like when I take off my oil filler cap.

[CBT]

So what your saying is Mike did this to you right before I showed up the other night?? You were making the EXACT SAME SOUNDS!!!:shake:
It must have been those 47 shish-ka-justbobs I ate.

[bobsawyer7]

Just wait till you turn 50 and need to get your first Colonoscopy.:eek:


This is something all men will have to deal with. :(

[DOOM]

You should have drove home with your heated seats on!

The heat would have relaxed your butt muscles.

[CBT]

You should have drove home with your heated seats on!

The heat would have relaxed your butt muscles.
I don't have heated seats! Or butt muscles. I don't even have a butt. :(
My butt is so flat and his finger was so big, I half expected him to tell me what I had for lunch. Last week.

[Phrog_gunner]

I was trying to get a guesstimate of his hand size while he was writing down my info, and let me tell you, I think not only could he palm a basketball, I think he could palm a 255/50/18!

Hot Dog down a hallway....

[burtreynolds]

Welcome to the club of those that have recieved the "Finger." Did you have that dirty feeling like you had just been "manhandled" prison style? Because that's all that comes to mind when I have to have my physicals. I try to thank the physician each time but I feel kind of like I am thanking a rapist...

[Mr. Man]

I don't have heated seats! Or butt muscles. I don't even have a butt. :(
My butt is so flat and his finger was so big, I half expected him to tell me what I had for lunch. Last week.
Since you were facing away from him are you sure it was his finger:eek::D

[MMARAUDER]

OMG I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. lol leaning backwards hahahahha wow good times

[Bigdogjim]

Never ever "drop'em" in the doctors exam room!

PS: Sis he have Johnny Mathis music playing?

[Motorhead350]

Hot Dog down a hallway....

Wow I haven't heard that one in a while!

[jus4kix03MM]

That was too funny......... Thanks for sharing, i think.:D

[PonyUP]

I have video of Casey's exam, and Case, it's wrong that you were thinking of Bob during that exam. Between that and his Lady Gaga fetish and some of the picture messages I get from you guys, I'm beginning to wonder about the two of you and why I'm not included in the reindeer games

tBsIcRZBh3A

[CBT]

I have video of Casey's exam, and Case, it's wrong that you were thinking of Bob during that exam. Between that and his Lady Gaga fetish and some of the picture messages I get from you guys, I'm beginning to wonder about the two of you and why I'm not included in the reindeer games

tBsIcRZBh3A

Here's a typical chat between me and Bob:

Bob - "Hey Case, were your parents bakers?"
Me - "No. Why?"
Bob - "Cause you got nice buns."
*Awkward silence*
Me - "Um. Thanks."
Bob - "REAL nice."

[PonyUP]

Here's a typical chat between me and Bob:

Bob - "Hey Case, were your parents bakers?"
Me - "No. Why?"
Bob - "Cause you got nice buns."
*Awkward silence*
Me - "Um. Thanks."
Bob - "REAL nice."

Follow up conversation
Casey: did you lick the D's yet
Bob: What are D's?
Casey (Pointing down): D's Nuts

[Egon Spengler]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg077QQet-g
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Lg077QQet-g?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Lg077QQet-g?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[knine]

Soooooooooo many things to quote. I'll have sigs for months with this.

[rayjay]

Uhm, you saw an amatuer, wait till you see the real thing. A urologist... :eek:

[CBT]

Uhm, you saw an amatuer, wait till you see the real thing. A urologist... :eek:
Holy crap, why? What's the worst a urologist could do? My innocence has already been taken :bigcry:

[rayjay]

Holy crap, why? What's the worst a urologist could do? My innocence has already been taken :bigcry:

It gets worse, believe me, the horror... I dread my yearly :bigcry:

[CBT]

Well I "took the Browns to the Super Bowl" a few minutes ago for the first time since my ordeal yesterday. When I went to wipe I jumped and yelled "Redlight! Redliiiiiight!" and then remembered it was my hand. I think I have a little bit of post traumatic stress going on down there.

[Krytin]

The problem is when you realize that BOTH of his hands are on your shoulders!



The humping bannanas are too much!!

[ckadiddle]

Holy crap, why? What's the worst a urologist could do? My innocence has already been taken :bigcry:


Holy crap, why? What's the worst a urologist could do? My innocence has already been taken :bigcry:


Welcome to your over 40 y.o. physical exam. My GP has big hands too. :(

I would have taken a dozen prostate exams in order to skip the urologist pulling my urethral stent out. There is a very real reason that you are unconscios when they put in that stent from the kidney to the bladder.

I was fully conscious and aware when it was removed. :eek: Try laying as still as possible while a man tries to grab the bottom end of the stent in the bladder with a telephone pole that has a telescope and a floodlight duct-taped to the end of it. At least he was honest and told me prior to "entry" that "this is going to hurt some". It was the longest ninety seconds of my life.

[CBT]

Welcome to your over 40 y.o. physical exam. My GP has big hands too. :(

I would have taken a dozen prostate exams in order to skip the urologist pulling my urethral stent out. There is a very real reason that you are unconscios when they put in that stent from the kidney to the bladder.

I was fully conscious and aware when it was removed. :eek: Try laying as still as possible while a man tries to grab the bottom end of the stent in the bladder with a telephone pole that has a telescope and a floodlight duct-taped to the end of it. At least he was honest and told me prior to "entry" that "this is going to hurt some". It was the longest ninety seconds of my life.

It's going to take more than one man to treat ME that way!

[CBT]

I'm still trying to figure out how it devolved into 'Showtime at The Asspollo', I went in for re-occurring lower back pain. :confused: Next thing I know I'm starring in a bad re-make of a cross between The Crying Game and Brokeback Mountain. Matter of fact, I think he's actually an Acupuncturist. Or a :censor: coal miner. Helloooooooooo down there!!

[rayjay]

Get used to it. Said exam is now part of your year once over. :rolleyes:

[CBT]

Get used to it. Said exam is now part of your year once over. :rolleyes:
Oh heeeeeeeeeeeell no. No, Sir.

[Egon Spengler]

I hear it only hurts the first time and then becomes quite pleasurable. ummm soo I've heard!!!

[Mr. Man]

Here's a typical chat between me and Bob:

Bob - "Hey Case, were your parents bakers?"
Me - "No. Why?"
Bob - "Cause I was just wondering how you became such a masterbaker."
*Awkward silence*
Me - "Um. Thanks."
Bob - "REAL nice."

This is the way Bob tells it:D

[Ken]

Well I "took the Browns to the Super Bowl" a few minutes ago for the first time since my ordeal yesterday..:banana2::banana2:: banana2:YAY! THE BROWNS FINALLY MADE IT TO THE SUPER BOW... (oh... never mind...) :corner:

[PonyUP]

Awww, thats too bad about your post traumatic ass syndrome, you may have developed a complex. My suggestion would be ram different size things in there to find the biggest you can withstand comfortably, then take said object to potential doctors to compare against their hand until you find a match. Otherwise you risk the size increasing and your superbowl experience will end up looking like chocolate mousse.

eghL7ORV1lg

IBTL :banana2:

[guspech750]

It's going to take more than one man to treat ME that way!

I am not surprised you roll that way. You want to hook up some time sailor?

[justbob]

WOW WOW WOW............ maybe I should start digging around in there now to avoid this mess in three years!

[CBT]

WOW WOW WOW............ maybe I should start digging around in there now to avoid this mess in three years!
Shoot, if he hadn't stopped when he did I was going to ask him if he could look for the Marauders valet key that I havn't seen for years now.

[CBT]

I am not surprised you roll that way. You want to hook up some time sailor?

Only if I can sing this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k

[Haggis]

Before you see your favorite doctor again, take some elax.

[CBT]

Before you see your favorite doctor again, take some elax.

Is that like Ex-lax?

[Haggis]

Is that like Ex-lax?

Hey, now you got it. :up:

[CBT]

Hey, now you got it. :up:
That's what she said.

[Bigdogjim]

^^^ No that's what your doctor said after the exam^^^ :laugh:

[CBT]

^^^ No that's what your doctor said after the exam^^^ :laugh:
Well he did give me a "thumbs up" review :o

[Egon Spengler]

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.

[CBT]

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
LMAO! Sicko. Hey check your PM's in a minute...

[Egon Spengler]

LMAO! Sicko. Hey check your PM's in a minute...
returned... dumper

[RacerX]

I'm in tears after reading this!!! BTW! Here you go CBT!

http://spubba.com/extras/butthurt.pdf

[CBT]

I'm in tears after reading this!!! BTW! Here you go CBT!

http://spubba.com/extras/butthurt.pdf

Thanks! P.S., 3 days after the initial man-rape I had to have it done again!! By a urologist that time. It was even worse! I wasn't even healed yet!!! I even told the guy "I'm not quite over the first one from 3 days ago, man." He said "Good! Since you're already sore it shouldn't matter, right?" WRONG.

[PonyUP]

Thanks! P.S., 3 days after the initial man-rape I had to have it done again!! By a urologist that time. It was even worse! I wasn't even healed yet!!! I even told the guy "I'm not quite over the first one from 3 days ago, man." He said "Good! Since you're already sore it shouldn't matter, right?" WRONG.

Hmmm, you would have thought it would ahve been easier since it was loosened up from the first experience. I do believe you are starting to like this.

[CBT]

Hmmm, you would have thought it would ahve been easier since it was loosened up from the first experience. I do believe you are starting to like this.

Let's just say after my two appointments I can scratch "Have anal sex with a black man and a white man" off my bucket list and leave it at that. ;)

[Mr. Man]

Thanks! P.S., 3 days after the initial man-rape I had to have it done again!! By a urologist that time. It was even worse! I wasn't even healed yet!!! I even told the guy "I'm not quite over the first one from 3 days ago, man." He said "Good! Since you're already sore it shouldn't matter, right?" WRONG.
With all the funny walking you were doing at MV8 why not just admit it is the Benwah fetish you are into.:D

[Brian H]

when i got my exam, i told the female doctor,---"i usually charge 50 bucks for this." ........she walked out in a huff!!! haha.

[rayjay]

Thanks! P.S., 3 days after the initial man-rape I had to have it done again!! By a urologist that time. It was even worse! I wasn't even healed yet!!! I even told the guy "I'm not quite over the first one from 3 days ago, man." He said "Good! Since you're already sore it shouldn't matter, right?" WRONG.


Told ya...

[RacerX]

CBT: "OOowwwwww!!! Jeesum Doc!!!! Take your ring off will ya???"

Doc: "Ring??? Oh! Sorry! That was my watch..."
:D

[CBT]

CBT: "OOowwwwww!!! Jeesum Doc!!!! Take you ring off will ya???"

Doc: "Ring??? Oh! Sorry! That was my watch..."
:D
lol, you are a sick, sick man.

[Marauderman]

This is something all men will have to deal with. :(

Wait till your the big 5 0--then the real fun one of those starts-------you just did the pre-staged event...:lol:

[CBT]

Wait till your the big 5 0--then the real fun one of those starts-------you just did the pre-staged event...:lol:

Seriously?! What the...I think it's a scam started by overly touchy-feely doctors. :mad:

[RacerX]

When you PM'd me "Why would the doctor make me use stirrups?" I got a little nervous for you. And the comment by the Doc. "May I push in your stool?" while you were in a chair... I'd question his practises. Where do live? San Francisco??? :D