Chuck Norris

[RacerX]

I was doing a google search for Charleston, sc and it started to fill in my request automatically. So when it said Google: Where is Chuck Norris, I couldn't resist! :D First link was this:
http://www.nochucknorris.com/

[Blk Mamba]

Now that there is funny, I don't care who you are, that's funny.

[PonyUP]

That's hysterical :lol:

[secretservice]

Been a long time since I've seen that, I thought it was gone. I predict ten pages of Chuck Norris's before this thread spirals out of hand and gets shut down...
I got 50 internet bucks and a Blue Moon on it.

[secretservice]

Subscribed. ;)

[RacerX]

I heard Chuck once killed two stones with one bird...

[secretservice]

It begins.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets a roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

[RacerX]

If Chuck Norris was to lose a fight... Just Kidding! :D

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

[RacerX]

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

[secretservice]

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

This just in.... Chuck Norris just had a heart attack. His heart lost.

[RacerX]

Nice one! :D

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poo because Chuck Norris will not take crap from anyone.

[RacerX]

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

[RacerX]

When people die, the Grim Reaper shows up, whne the Grim Reaper dies, Chuck Norris will show up...

[secretservice]

When people die, the Grim Reaper shows up, whne the Grim Reaper dies, Chuck Norris will show up...

Chuck Norris actually died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

[RacerX]

Goofy! That's why I pu that one! :D

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

[secretservice]

:D If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

[RacerX]

Nice! :D

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

[secretservice]

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

[PonyUP]

When Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, Chuck found it and put it back

[RacerX]

Hehe! Nice!

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

[PonyUP]

When Jack bauer lost his keys, he tortured himself until he gave up the location of the keys. Oops wrong guy, Chuck Norris just killed Jack Bauer with his keys

[RacerX]

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

[secretservice]

Good one. People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

[secretservice]

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried!

[RacerX]

When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the arse, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

[PonyUP]

When Chuck Norris couldn't get an Egg McMuffin at McDonalds at 10:35a He roundhouse kicked the restaurant and it became a Wendy's

[secretservice]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris invented his own style of Karate, it's called Chuck-Will-Kill

[secretservice]

This thread is out of control. Only Chuck Norris could lock it.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

[Egon Spengler]

You do realize this thread is a three man circle jerk right? I will not be participating in the Chuck Norris old news... The 90's called, they want you to leave Chuck Norris with them!

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

[secretservice]

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

[secretservice]

You do realize this thread is a three man circle jerk right? I will not be participating in the Chuck Norris old news... The 90's called, they want you to leave Chuck Norris with them!

Chuck Norris created the 90's simply to provide us with Y2K and 2012.

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris can Facebook from a calculator

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris can Facebook from a calculator

-or an Etch-A-Sketch.

[RacerX]

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

[PonyUP]

Chucks calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

[secretservice]

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

[secretservice]

You do realize this thread is a three man circle jerk right? !

4 man. You're watching. ;)

[RacerX]

If Chuck Norris is late, time slows down.

[SID210SA]

How about Chuck Norris vs. The Most Intersting Man In The World?

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris' toilet paper:
http://i918.photobucket.com/albums/ad21/secretservicemusclecars/chuck_norris_toilet_paper.jpg

[secretservice]

How about Chuck Norris vs. The Most Intersting Man In The World?
This:
http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u112/eltiboi/atom-bomb.jpg

[secretservice]

How about Chuck Norris vs. The Most Intersting Man In The World?

"Stay dead my friends"

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris drives a Marauder, enough said

[RacerX]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

[secretservice]

Awesome! ^
Page 5...

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris thread count is infinity, you can always count on Chuck Norris

[RacerX]

Al Gore is alive only because Chuck Norris wanted to keep it quiet about himself inventing the internet and that the Greenhouse effect is from him working out.

[secretservice]

Always good for an audience participation thread. :D

[secretservice]

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

[secretservice]

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

[RacerX]

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

[secretservice]

Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.

[RacerX]

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

[CBT]

If you say "rock, paper, Chuck Norris" you will win that game every time.

[RacerX]

:D
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

[secretservice]

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axles, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

[secretservice]

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”.

[CBT]

Chuck put the bomp in the bomp she bomp shebomp, Chuck put the wang in the wang a lang a dingdong.

[RacerX]

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris can kick start a car.

[PonyUP]

There are no races, Chuck Norris has just beaten people different shades of black and blue

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris gave Eve the apple, then roundhouse kicked her so the world would have pain.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris challenges Obama:
http://immigration.about.com/b/2009/08/04/chuck-norris-to-obama-put-up-to-shut-them-up.htm

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris challenges Obama:
http://immigration.about.com/b/2009/08/04/chuck-norris-to-obama-put-up-to-shut-them-up.htm

Chuck Norris visited Obamas mother nine months earlier in Hawaii...

[secretservice]

lol!!!! ^^^

[Joe Walsh]

There are no runaway Trains...just Trains that saw Chuck Norris standing by the tracks.

[PonyUP]

The Answer to every mathmatical equation is "Absolute Chuck Norris"

[secretservice]

The Answer to every mathmatical equation is "Absolute Chuck Norris"

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

[CBT]

Wow, 7 pages already! You know what this means? Chuck Norris.

[PonyUP]

And I have only seen one repeat, I think we need a sticky

[CBT]

I think we need a sticky
That's what Chuck Norris said.

[secretservice]

that's what chuck norris said.

boom shock-a-locka!!!

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris invented the C section, he wanted out, so he performed a roundhouse kick from inside the womb to get out

[secretservice]

Told you it'd go 10 pages....

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

[CBT]

When a man challenges Chuck Norris to a game of 'Who has the biggest ball$', Chuck always wins. By 3.

[Leadfoot281]

1234567890

[RacerX]

1234567890
That's funny!

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't *uc* with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

[Joe Walsh]

LOL....I love the Explorer's door!

My stepson couldn't stop in time when Chuck Norris was walking across the intersection....

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/RecoveredPictures129-1.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/95GMfrontenddamage-1.jpg

[secretservice]

good Chuck wrecked pics!

[RacerX]

Bullets can't hurt Chuck Norris, because they're afraid to leave the gun.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris can shoot you with an unloaded gun.

[RacerX]

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.

[PonyUP]

When Batman gets in trouble, he send up the Chuck Norris Signal

[Joe Walsh]

I foolishly challenged Chuck Norris to a race in the 1/4 mile.
Me in my Marauder.....vs. Chuck Norris on foot.

He ran by me at 70 mph and as he passed me he roundhouse kicked my Marauder's rearend:

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_0620-1-1.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_0628-1.jpg

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/IMG_0614-1.jpg

[secretservice]

Your poor poor rear fascia. Did the spoiler survive the encounter?

[Joe Walsh]

Your poor poor rear fascia. Did the spoiler survive the encounter?

It did......but when we finished the race; Chuck Norris destroyed it!....:bigcry:

[secretservice]

I'm sorry for your loss. :(

[RacerX]

Damn! :( That's funny, but, not funny.

Chuck Norris once brought a knife to a gun fight, just to prove the saying wrong. He never used the knife and still has the guns.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris is about to make a 10 page thread about himself.

[Joe Walsh]

Chuck Norris was standing in front of that Jersey wall.....

_qRHEMAf33Q

[secretservice]

That is a classic. I love it. I did not, however, know that Chuck Norris was involved. I now fear for my life.

[secretservice]

And again, hiding behind this wall, holding it still.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5XTsQ-9vvo&NR=1

[RacerX]

Don't worry. If he were after you, you wouldn't have been able to type that.

[secretservice]

In response, Chuck Norris developed the "Penetrator"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHKkzuU2qtE&feature=related

[TFB]

Who is Chuck Norris???

See the old saying is true -- What you don't know won't hurt you...

[secretservice]

http://hotair.com/archives/2010/09/02/chuck-norris-fact-chuck-norris-will-destroy-you-if-you-dont-register-to-vote/

Enjoy!

[Joe Walsh]

Chuck Norris rollerbladed once....but he found it too slow and boring:
agfpctJEa_4&feature=related

[Mr. Man]

Chuck Norris turned 70 recently. 70 is now the new 20 Chuck Norris said so

[secretservice]

That makes me not even born yet. DAMN YOU CHUCK!!!

[secretservice]

One more page to victory.

[PonyUP]

Here is the power of the Roundhouse Kick

AOIRJi1YWY8&feature

[Mr. Man]

Funny same thing ^^^^^happens a few hours after Doomie eats a bean burrito:D

[secretservice]

What a great classic clip! Must have been edited for content when I saw it the first time, My eyes were not yet mature enough for the uncensored roundhouse kick.

[Mr. Man]

Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris swims through land

[Mr. Man]

Before they met Chuck Norris the Black-eyed Peas were known as only The Peas

[secretservice]

Hitler didn't kill himself becuase they were losing the war. He killed himself because Chuck Norris joined the army

[Mr. Man]

Chuck Norris can start a camp fire with ice cubes

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow

[secretservice]

most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...

[secretservice]

Page 10!!!!!!!

[RacerX]

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

[secretservice]

Been a long time since I've seen that, I thought it was gone. I predict ten pages of Chuck Norris's before this thread spirals out of hand and gets shut down...
I got 50 internet bucks and a Blue Moon on it.

First page prediction. Just sayin. ^

[Mr. Man]

Each of Chuck Norris' testicles is larger than the other one. CBT told me before Chuck Norris killed him with a roundhouse kick

[Joe Walsh]

First page prediction. Just sayin. ^

Glad we could help you out.....:hmmm:...now what was the bet for?

[PonyUP]

If you are alive today, it is only because Chuck Norris wills it. If you slap Chuck Norris in a dream, you won't have to apologize because you won't wake up.

[secretservice]

Glad we could help you out.....:hmmm:...now what was the bet for?

A Blue Moon and 50 intraweb bucks. :D

[Mr. Man]

The Bermuda triangle used to be the Bermuda square til Chuck Norris round house kicked a corner off

[Mr. Man]

Chuck Norris can watch "60 Minutes" in 20

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands, they are now known as The Islands.

[Joe Walsh]

A Blue Moon and 50 intraweb bucks. :D

This is all that you will get....and you will like it!

http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/JoeJWalsh/ScruteBuck.jpg

[RacerX]

How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! A lightbulb would never fail Chuck Norris.

[secretservice]

Good by me! 1 Schrute Buck is as good as 50 interweb bucks! I'll get my own Blue. :D

[RacerX]

Good by me! 1 Schrute Buck is as good as 50 interweb bucks! I'll get my own Blue. :D
How many Round Tuits is that worth?

[secretservice]

More than I have available.

[Kodimar]

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

[RacerX]

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris was bitten by a snake. After three days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

[RacerX]

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

[secretservice]

I just clicked on this website and my computer crashed.
http://www.chucknorris.com/

[chicago_cop]

I was doing a google search for Charleston, sc and it started to fill in my request automatically. So when it said Google: Where is Chuck Norris, I couldn't resist! :D First link was this:
http://www.nochucknorris.com/

Read this in a Magazine; Chuck Norris was deputized by some Texas Law Enforcement agencey. For real. They were going on a drug raid and asked if he wanted to go along. He was reluctant at first but said yes. They broke a door down and arrested a perp. While he was sitting hand cuffed he looked up seeing Norris and said "What are we in a movie". You wish.

[secretservice]

Read this in a Magazine; Chuck Norris was deputized by some Texas Law Enforcement agencey. For real. They were going on a drug raid and asked if he wanted to go along. He was reluctant at first but said yes. They broke a door down and arrested a perp. While he was sitting hand cuffed he looked up seeing Norris and said "What are we in a movie". You wish.

That's great. And there's that "Steven Segal, Lawman" show, or whatever it's called lol.

[RacerX]

Reminds me of the Steven Segal series. :D

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash

[secretservice]

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

[secretservice]

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris invented Judo. Judon't know when he'll roundhouse kick you in the face, and Judon't know when he'll kill you.

[RacerX]

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

[Mr. Man]

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
So can I! In Z formation, guess that makes me Chuck Norris:D

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open!

[secretservice]

Don't forget he can sleep with his eyes open. And roundhouse kick in his sleep.

[YankeeMarauder]

if you play led zeppelin's "stairway to heaven" backwards, you will hear chuck norris banging your sister.
now thats funny!!

[fastblackmerc]

You guys are a little late....

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/showthread.php?t=26397&highlight=norris

310 posts.... 21 pages.

[Joe Walsh]

You guys are a little late....

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/showthread.php?t=26397&highlight=norris

310 posts.... 21 pages.

I thought I remembered a similar thread!

Oh well....No harm done!

I'm still laughing at the posts in this thread.

BTW: Don't interfere with Chuck Norris threads or he will roundhouse.....ahhhh.....you know the rest!

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris drives a Marauder.

Excellent.

[Mr. Man]

I like that one CBT posted in the other thread. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did:lol:

[MIDNITEMARAUDER]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

[RacerX]

You guys are a little late....

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/showthread.php?t=26397&highlight=norris

310 posts.... 21 pages.

:( Fudge... :alone: Always worth the laughs! Figures CBT started it! :D

Chuck could find Osama, but, our Government can't find anyone who would dare ask him.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now only known as The Islands.

[LOWBUCKMM]

Chuck Norris is the reason why waldo is hiding.

[secretservice]

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' seed escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris is the only person who knows where Carmen San Diego is.

Oh and he did her, no theres a big hole in the back of her head

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow

[Mr. Man]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow
Your doubling them up. You gots to read the previous posts:)

[CBT]

Chuck Norris: That's what she said.

[dirtybird82]

Bruce Lee killed Chuck Norris.

[duhtroll]

Chuck Norris is a p***y.

I just read his "farewell" letter to Walker fans whilst eating my breakfast sandwich:

Dear Friends:

I was lying in bed a couple of months ago and I started reflecting back to my Martial Arts career as a fighter. I remembered back to 1974, when I decided to retire after six years as the undefeated World Middleweight Karate Champion. I thought that I could defend my title again in 1975 at the age of 35 and win my seventh consecutive year, but then again I could probably lose, so I decided to retire as an undefeated champion. To this day I am considered one of the top fighters of all time. If I had fought and lost, that may not have been the case.

Then I began thinking about Walker, Texas Ranger. Fortunately, Walker has been a top rated series for eight years and I thought it could probably have a successful ninth season, but then again maybe not. Anyway that is the reason I am ending Walker, Texas Ranger. I want the series to end as a winner. I know the let down of Walker being over will be very emotionally hard on me, just as it did when I retired as a fighter, but I did not stop doing my Martial Arts when I retired and I will not stop acting when Walker is over. I hope whenever my acting career goes that I will still have your support! As I have always believed, "When one door closes, a bigger one opens."

God Bless you.

Sincerely your friend,

Chuck Norris


So, he quit both things because he "might not have won/succeeded."

What message does that send to kids? Basically, it is OK to participate if you are the best, but not worth it if you aren't.

Nice, Chuck. I'd say "blow it out your a$$," but we already have enough natural disasters.

[CBT]

Chuck Norris is a p***y.

I just read his "farewell" letter to Walker fans whilst eating my breakfast sandwich:

Dear Friends:

I was lying in bed a couple of months ago and I started reflecting back to my Martial Arts career as a fighter. I remembered back to 1974, when I decided to retire after six years as the undefeated World Middleweight Karate Champion. I thought that I could defend my title again in 1975 at the age of 35 and win my seventh consecutive year, but then again I could probably lose, so I decided to retire as an undefeated champion. To this day I am considered one of the top fighters of all time. If I had fought and lost, that may not have been the case.

Then I began thinking about Walker, Texas Ranger. Fortunately, Walker has been a top rated series for eight years and I thought it could probably have a successful ninth season, but then again maybe not. Anyway that is the reason I am ending Walker, Texas Ranger. I want the series to end as a winner. I know the let down of Walker being over will be very emotionally hard on me, just as it did when I retired as a fighter, but I did not stop doing my Martial Arts when I retired and I will not stop acting when Walker is over. I hope whenever my acting career goes that I will still have your support! As I have always believed, "When one door closes, a bigger one opens."

God Bless you.

Sincerely your friend,

Chuck Norris


So, he quit both things because he "might not have won/succeeded."

What message does that send to kids? Basically, it is OK to participate if you are the best, but not worth it if you aren't.

Nice, Chuck. I'd say "blow it out your a$$," but we already have enough natural disasters.

Joe Louis was a better mixed martial arts fighter than Chuck Norris. Just my 2 cents. Superfoot Wallace was a bad mofo, too.

[RacerX]

I could roundhouse kick Chuck Norris' arse! Fortunately for him though, at 70, I'd be more apt to lend him an arm to help him and his walking cane across the road... BAM! Still here! ;)

[Egon Spengler]

OK, virgins. You got 13 pages out of it, now go back to your xbox...

[SC Cheesehead]

http://www.guzer.com/pictures/chuck_norris_sign.jpg

[Joe Walsh]

Chuck Norris once had kidney stones.....the doctors strongly recommended that he have an operation to remove them.

Chuck said: "NAW!...I'll just pass them!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx4TUg3TD-s

[RacerX]

http://www.nupxl.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/2923195026_f197a23ee03-300x240.jpg

[RacerX]

http://www.nupxl.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/ChuckNorris2.jpg

[RacerX]

http://www.nupxl.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/chuck2.jpg

[RacerX]

http://www.nupxl.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/motivator865868om8.jpg

[CBT]

His eyes are squinty, his chest is beard. He is Chuck Norris.


http://www.nupxl.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/chuck2.jpg

[RacerX]

http://i2.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/590/draft_lens12687311module114384 931photo_5_1281610416Chuck-Norris-Poster-1.jpg

[RacerX]

http://i3.squidoocdn.com/resize/squidoo_images/590/draft_lens12687311module114384 931photo_7_1281610473Chuck-Norris-Poster-3.jpg

[RacerX]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCaUre8Ju94

[RacerX]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/TAtGlZMdHqI/AAAAAAAABXI/umuaquZ7sgA/s1600/59265_chuck_norris9_123_101lo. jpg

[RacerX]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/TFHir28wfyI/AAAAAAAABwM/edxXA6P64aY/s1600/93308_2887_122_230lo.jpg

[RacerX]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/TFnlAv8ZDXI/AAAAAAAAB9Y/uVj6OkisHNY/s1600/poster93600819ee9.jpg

[RacerX]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/TDtc7zN7WyI/AAAAAAAABgQ/lagH13pQPUE/s1600/09-Government.jpg

[RacerX]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/TGaG5XI-mZI/AAAAAAAACKQ/_3I_md5CpQc/s1600/Chuck-Norris.jpg

[PonyUP]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCaUre8Ju94


Oh my God, Chuck Norris Mario Brothers???? That is Frickin Priceless. :lol::lol:

They tried a Chuck Norris Punch out but everytime the game turned on, the player was killed

[secretservice]

The black Norris looks suspiciously like Mr. T.

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris likes Apples for dessert ... especially Macbook Pros and Airbooks

[secretservice]

Nobody is perfect. Chuck Norris is nobody.

[secretservice]

It takes a whole village to raise a child. False. It takes Chuck Norris.

[secretservice]

"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.

[secretservice]

If Chuck Norris vistited Jersey Shore, for the first and only time, they would have a legitimate "Situation".

[secretservice]

Obama's red phone is for one contact only.............

[secretservice]

Thank you, Chuck Norris, for my 1000th post, and 4th flag. Go Chuck!

[CBT]

Thank you, Chuck Norris, for my 1000th post, and 4th flag. Go Chuck!
lmao! The good Chuck giveth, and you know the rest, so watch out.

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris posting flags are actually little chucks doing Roundhouse kicks, nobody knows how many posts Chuck Norris has.

[duhtroll]

You have made 1000 posts in 2 months?

Time to get out more.


Thank you, Chuck Norris, for my 1000th post, and 4th flag. Go Chuck!

[Black_Noise]

chuck norris once punched micheal jackson and knocked the black right off of him.

[secretservice]

You have made 1000 posts in 2 months?

Time to get out more.

I work from home. And apparently have a lot to say. :o

[CBT]

I work from home. And apparently have a lot to say. :o
Speak into the microphone. No, up here, that's not the microphone. :D

[Mr. Man]

Speak into the microphone. No, up here, that's not the microphone. :D
That would be where Chuck Norris round-housed kicked his Vienna Sausage off.:D

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris voice is so powerful, the human ear can not comprehend it and if they were to hear his true voice, their heads would explode. The Chuck has taken mercy and given his human form a quiet voice.

[secretservice]

Speak into the microphone. No, up here, that's not the microphone. :D

Pervert. :shake:

[RacerX]

http://verydemotivational.files.wordp ress.com/2010/10/demotivational-posters-extinction.jpg

[duhtroll]

This is obviously a fake/photoshop.
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Any moron could tell you that Chuck would not NEED guns.










http://verydemotivational.files.wordp ress.com/2010/10/demotivational-posters-extinction.jpg

[12odee]

I about pissed my pants after reading this. gj

[PonyUP]

Yes, a Chuck Norris bump :banana2:

When Chuck Norris Walks, he doesn't actually move, the earth rotates

[PonyUP]

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms with a picture of himself doing a roundhousekick. Chuck norris has never had to pay taxes

[Blackened300a]

Really? 15 pages in this thread of a 5 yr old internet joke? Do internet fads really take that long to reach the rest of the country? :confused:

[Egon Spengler]

Really? 15 pages in this thread of a 5 yr old internet joke? Do internet fads really take that long to reach the rest of the country? :confused:
I can't believe it either! I think Chuck Norris sucks...

[secretservice]

I think Chuck Norris sucks...

Hence the 5 year long joke.

[4drcbra]

wow thats awesome

[RacerX]

I about pissed my pants after reading this. gj

Chuck has the ability to make one piss one's pants without actually being there...


I can't believe it either! I think Chuck Norris sucks...

Are you pissing yourself yet?

[Egon Spengler]

Are you pissing yourself yet?
After God realized what he created with Chuck Norris, he created me so that Chuck would have someone to idolize...

nuff sed

[RacerX]

So you don't have this sticker on your car?

http://www.streetfx.com.au/product_images/warning_stickers/usa/warning_small_chucknorris.jpg

[RacerX]

http://www.funz.eu/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/Chuck-Norris-Was-Here.jpg

[Egon Spengler]

So you don't have this sticker on your car?


No. Ghostbusters sticker.

[RacerX]

How come we're still in Iraq???

http://photos.upi.com/slideshow/lbox/a7bca166464a293bb899e7002cd19e 1a/USO-CHUCK-NORRIS-IRAQ.jpg

[RacerX]

http://finickypenguin.files.wordpress .com/2009/08/chuck_norris.jpg

[RacerX]

http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/photo/75/10527/God-Confesses-Chuck-Norris-Every-Sunday_500x500.jpg

[RacerX]

http://ipo.totfarm.com/pics/pic_12268988234838.jpg

[Egon Spengler]

http://ipo.totfarm.com/pics/pic_12268988234838.jpg
There seems to be a lot of nerdy basement dwelling virgins in this world.

[RacerX]

Allright... Coupe De Grace, here's my favorite:

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/gallery/data/579/ClintE.jpg

[Egon Spengler]

Allright... Coupe De Grace, here's my favorite:

http://www.mercurymarauder.net/gallery/data/579/ClintE.jpg
That's more like it!

[secretservice]

"Get off my lawn, Chuck Norris."

[secretservice]

Chuck Norris cat.
http://news.mydaily.com/2010/11/16/cat-fight/

[CBT]

Sidewalks are his runways.
23234

[secretservice]

Somebody better buy this.
http://cgi.ebay.com/Johnny-Lightning-Hollywood-Wheel-walker-Texas-Ranger-/320623202759?pt=Diecast_Vehicl es&hash=item4aa6a1d1c7#ht_500wt_1 156

[RacerX]

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

[GAMike]

Chuck Norris is so bad ass, he commanded the Governor of Texas to make him a Real Texas Ranger...........http://www.accessatlanta.com/celebrities-tv/actor-chuck-norris-to-763644.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm

[PonyUP]

Chuck Norris is so bad ass, he commanded the Governor of Texas to make him a Real Texas Ranger...........http://www.accessatlanta.com/celebrities-tv/actor-chuck-norris-to-763644.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm


The only challenge becomes that they can't pin the badge on Chuck, Chuck Norris can't be pinned

[GAMike]

The only challenge becomes that they can't pin the badge on Chuck, Chuck Norris can't be pinned
I think they tried to use a HILTI Gun too :D

[PonyUP]

I think they tried to use a HILTI Gun too :D


:lol: Nah, they just Branded Him

[RacerX]

This was an obvious one and I knew I could count on someone else! ;)