woaface
12-13-2003, 10:53 AM
From an old ish of C&D
The following article appeared in Car and Driver Magazine in January 1991. The editorial department of Car and Driver has released this article for non-commercial use on the Internet and any other electronic networks and bulletin boards providing this disclaimer is attached. The article "Ten Best Tips for Fearless Flying" is written by Umberto Bigone (a psuedoynm) and the 1990 copyright and all rights to this story belong to Hachette Filipacchi Magazines.
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TEN BEST TIPS FOR FEARLESS FLYING
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Speeding-ticket headaches? Dr. Bigone has just the medicine for you. by Dr. Umberto Bigone
Umberto Bigone (bee-GO-nay) ranks as one of the world's most enthusiastic motorists. At home here in Europe, or even in Canada, Dr. Bigone's license is pristine and points-free, which is to say clean, making him, statistically at least, a paragon of law-abiding propriety, a status he has enjoyed for decades.
How, we asked Dr. Bigone, can he drive so rapidamente so regularly, while for the rest of us it's all we can do to keep our points total below the license-threatening redline? Generously, he has consented to share with us his ten best tips for flying on the highway without fear. Of cops. These tips are, most of them, methods we here at Car and Driver are well acquainted with, but Dr. Bigone's unique presentation conveys them concisely and in one highly entertaining and easy-to-use package.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I, Dr. Umberto Bigone, lover of high velocity vehicles and of using them in the manner that God intended, share for the first time with my fellow enthusiasts knowledge gained over decades of experience on heavily patrolled highways of the nation and the world. I do this free of charge, though the evolution of my secrets came in small, incremental, often expensive steps as new situations, new equipment, and new measurement techniques caused my original Golden Rule ("Watch Your Rear-View Mirror' ) to blossom into the Ten Best Ways.
As in all offers American, a disclaimer is called for: if, after you learn these rules, you are apprehended, please do not attempt to call me and threaten legal action. Remember that advice may be worth no more than what you paid for it ( nothing in this instance) and that Dr. Bigone's special remedy cannot eliminate the risk of apprehension, though my tips can and do dramatically reduce such risk.
RULE 1: SELECT PROPER EQUIPMENT
You cannot hope to speed with impunity without proper equipment. The best radar detector money can buy is a mandatory investment. But there is more: think about the car itself. A bright red Ferrari F40 or Lamborghini Diablo, and a bespoilered and fat-tired Mustang GT are "ticket magnets". A nondescript Ford Aerostar, in mouse-gray- metallic, or a powder-blue generic U.S. sedan, are largely ticket-proof. It is sad, but the more overtly your vehicle displays the intent for high-speed use, the less it will be capable of doing so. Perhaps this fact explains why, in a presumably Darwinian evolution, Corvette drivers have become slower and slower, to the point of now being tragic but amusing mobile chicanes. The answer to driving fast without resorting to a dull automobile is the sports sedan, and fine examples abound, ranging from the Infiniti Q45 to the Taurus SHO and the Dodge Sprint R/T. If ordered in other than "Arrest-Me-Red", the modern sports sedan will provide many more miles of hassle free motoring at far greater speeds than a more "overt" vehicle. All cars may look the same to a radar gun, but radar is not the only threat, and if you are stopped, the type of vehicle you drive and what it says is about your driving style can be of decisive importance.
RULE 2: RECOGNIZE THE THREAT EARLY
This is a straightforward rule. Believe your detector, even if it gives only a short, uncertain signal. It may well be the dreaded K-band "instant-on" aimed at vehicles ahead of you. How often have I, hurtling down the highway, heard the first plaintative bleat from my Escort, pulled courteously to the right, permitted my close follower (in disregard of Rules 5 and 6) to blast by, only to have him receive a full dose of microwaves seconds later. This is inevitably followed by the offensive sucking-vacuum sound of a large police cruiser rushing past the now sanctimomously-slow Dr. Bigone. The scene ends, so sad, with a display of flashing lights somewhere up ahead. Scanning X-band radar is falling into increasing disuse, and many agencies are resorting to traditional seek-and-pace techniques. Or they may sneak up behind, match your speed, and then, within range, squeeze off a burp of instant-on to lock up the evidence. So sad, yes?
You must learn to recognize "threat" vehicles. Even though the telltale "light bar" is increasingly absent, threat vehicles have some common characteristics they are almost always American, usually full-size Fords, full-size Chevrolets, Mustang GTs, or Plymouth Gran Furys/Dodge Diplomats. Period.
Even without light bars, you should be able to pick out these vehicles at great distances by looking for windshield-pillar mounted spotlights (carefully folded inward) and, more importantly, fat tires. When approaching a suspect vehicle from the rear, look for the above cues plus check the underside for the telltale stabilizer bar, especially on Chevrolets.
If you think you see a well-shod white, ivory, blue, or black Diplomat, Caprice, Mustang, or Crown Vic in your rear-view mirror, slow down! Permit him to come closer for positive identification. The seconds lost are meaningless and quickly regained if the possible threat is found to be benign.
When entering a new state, take a few moments at a local gas pump to learn what types of vehicles and what types of surveillance the indigenous enforcement professionals use. It's time well spent.
RULE 3: MAINTAIN A GOOD DAYTIME SCAN
Daytime threat-avoidance is different from night-avoidance. You see the threat earlier, but he also sees you. (This is where the wisdom of Rule 1 becomes apparent Innocuous cars may pass unnoticed.)
When moving smartly in daylight hours, constantly scan your mirrors and the road ahead for threats. Slow when going through underpasses, for the enforcer may be parked out of sight behind the far-side concrete. Be suspicious of any vehicle parked on the inside or outside shoulder. Slow down until you are sure it is not an enforcer. Check on-ramps as you drive by them. Give a quick look over your right shoulder, all the way to the top of the on-ramp to ensure that it is clean of the authorities. Monitor your rear-view mirror constantly for any sign of unusual activity. Try to remember cars that you pass. If, later, you see what appears to be a possible threat vehicle far behind you and don't remember passing it, slow down for identification. Even if you are reasonably sure you passed it, if that vehicle is now matching your speed (not getting smaller in your rear-view mirror), slow down for positive identification.
Proper daytime scan has saved the author as many as five times per month.
The following article appeared in Car and Driver Magazine in January 1991. The editorial department of Car and Driver has released this article for non-commercial use on the Internet and any other electronic networks and bulletin boards providing this disclaimer is attached. The article "Ten Best Tips for Fearless Flying" is written by Umberto Bigone (a psuedoynm) and the 1990 copyright and all rights to this story belong to Hachette Filipacchi Magazines.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TEN BEST TIPS FOR FEARLESS FLYING
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Speeding-ticket headaches? Dr. Bigone has just the medicine for you. by Dr. Umberto Bigone
Umberto Bigone (bee-GO-nay) ranks as one of the world's most enthusiastic motorists. At home here in Europe, or even in Canada, Dr. Bigone's license is pristine and points-free, which is to say clean, making him, statistically at least, a paragon of law-abiding propriety, a status he has enjoyed for decades.
How, we asked Dr. Bigone, can he drive so rapidamente so regularly, while for the rest of us it's all we can do to keep our points total below the license-threatening redline? Generously, he has consented to share with us his ten best tips for flying on the highway without fear. Of cops. These tips are, most of them, methods we here at Car and Driver are well acquainted with, but Dr. Bigone's unique presentation conveys them concisely and in one highly entertaining and easy-to-use package.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I, Dr. Umberto Bigone, lover of high velocity vehicles and of using them in the manner that God intended, share for the first time with my fellow enthusiasts knowledge gained over decades of experience on heavily patrolled highways of the nation and the world. I do this free of charge, though the evolution of my secrets came in small, incremental, often expensive steps as new situations, new equipment, and new measurement techniques caused my original Golden Rule ("Watch Your Rear-View Mirror' ) to blossom into the Ten Best Ways.
As in all offers American, a disclaimer is called for: if, after you learn these rules, you are apprehended, please do not attempt to call me and threaten legal action. Remember that advice may be worth no more than what you paid for it ( nothing in this instance) and that Dr. Bigone's special remedy cannot eliminate the risk of apprehension, though my tips can and do dramatically reduce such risk.
RULE 1: SELECT PROPER EQUIPMENT
You cannot hope to speed with impunity without proper equipment. The best radar detector money can buy is a mandatory investment. But there is more: think about the car itself. A bright red Ferrari F40 or Lamborghini Diablo, and a bespoilered and fat-tired Mustang GT are "ticket magnets". A nondescript Ford Aerostar, in mouse-gray- metallic, or a powder-blue generic U.S. sedan, are largely ticket-proof. It is sad, but the more overtly your vehicle displays the intent for high-speed use, the less it will be capable of doing so. Perhaps this fact explains why, in a presumably Darwinian evolution, Corvette drivers have become slower and slower, to the point of now being tragic but amusing mobile chicanes. The answer to driving fast without resorting to a dull automobile is the sports sedan, and fine examples abound, ranging from the Infiniti Q45 to the Taurus SHO and the Dodge Sprint R/T. If ordered in other than "Arrest-Me-Red", the modern sports sedan will provide many more miles of hassle free motoring at far greater speeds than a more "overt" vehicle. All cars may look the same to a radar gun, but radar is not the only threat, and if you are stopped, the type of vehicle you drive and what it says is about your driving style can be of decisive importance.
RULE 2: RECOGNIZE THE THREAT EARLY
This is a straightforward rule. Believe your detector, even if it gives only a short, uncertain signal. It may well be the dreaded K-band "instant-on" aimed at vehicles ahead of you. How often have I, hurtling down the highway, heard the first plaintative bleat from my Escort, pulled courteously to the right, permitted my close follower (in disregard of Rules 5 and 6) to blast by, only to have him receive a full dose of microwaves seconds later. This is inevitably followed by the offensive sucking-vacuum sound of a large police cruiser rushing past the now sanctimomously-slow Dr. Bigone. The scene ends, so sad, with a display of flashing lights somewhere up ahead. Scanning X-band radar is falling into increasing disuse, and many agencies are resorting to traditional seek-and-pace techniques. Or they may sneak up behind, match your speed, and then, within range, squeeze off a burp of instant-on to lock up the evidence. So sad, yes?
You must learn to recognize "threat" vehicles. Even though the telltale "light bar" is increasingly absent, threat vehicles have some common characteristics they are almost always American, usually full-size Fords, full-size Chevrolets, Mustang GTs, or Plymouth Gran Furys/Dodge Diplomats. Period.
Even without light bars, you should be able to pick out these vehicles at great distances by looking for windshield-pillar mounted spotlights (carefully folded inward) and, more importantly, fat tires. When approaching a suspect vehicle from the rear, look for the above cues plus check the underside for the telltale stabilizer bar, especially on Chevrolets.
If you think you see a well-shod white, ivory, blue, or black Diplomat, Caprice, Mustang, or Crown Vic in your rear-view mirror, slow down! Permit him to come closer for positive identification. The seconds lost are meaningless and quickly regained if the possible threat is found to be benign.
When entering a new state, take a few moments at a local gas pump to learn what types of vehicles and what types of surveillance the indigenous enforcement professionals use. It's time well spent.
RULE 3: MAINTAIN A GOOD DAYTIME SCAN
Daytime threat-avoidance is different from night-avoidance. You see the threat earlier, but he also sees you. (This is where the wisdom of Rule 1 becomes apparent Innocuous cars may pass unnoticed.)
When moving smartly in daylight hours, constantly scan your mirrors and the road ahead for threats. Slow when going through underpasses, for the enforcer may be parked out of sight behind the far-side concrete. Be suspicious of any vehicle parked on the inside or outside shoulder. Slow down until you are sure it is not an enforcer. Check on-ramps as you drive by them. Give a quick look over your right shoulder, all the way to the top of the on-ramp to ensure that it is clean of the authorities. Monitor your rear-view mirror constantly for any sign of unusual activity. Try to remember cars that you pass. If, later, you see what appears to be a possible threat vehicle far behind you and don't remember passing it, slow down for identification. Even if you are reasonably sure you passed it, if that vehicle is now matching your speed (not getting smaller in your rear-view mirror), slow down for positive identification.
Proper daytime scan has saved the author as many as five times per month.