M&Ms

[SHERIFF]

This looks interesting.... M&Ms are going to "black and white", Dec 31, 2003. No more colors for a while. :mad2:

http://www.mms.com/us/bw/images/main.jpg

[woaface]

NOOO! M&M's ARE DEEPER THAN THAT! It's not a black and white world anymore!

[SHERIFF]

Yeah. Just when I had fallen in love with BLUE. :)

[03SILVERSTREAK]

Whats up with the Redd????????????

[RoyLPita]

What does the late Redd Foxx have to do with a CVPI?

[Petrograde]

new M&M colors:
-Black
-Blue
-Silver
-Red

Hey Sheriff,... when I saw the Red Foxx pic, I about rolled out of my chair! I've been following your posts for a few weeks now. I have to say that you have a unique sense of humor. :lol:

Tom

[martyo]

Originally posted by Petrograde
new M&M colors:
-Black
-Blue
-Silver
-Red



Actually they would be:

-Black
-Blue
-Silver
-DTR

[SHERIFF]

Originally posted by somebody
What does the late Redd Foxx have to do with a CVPI?


Originally posted by somebody
Whats up with the Redd????????????


It's more or less an inside joke. But, Redd is smiling because I successfully installed 2004 wheel covers on a 2001 and 2002 model POLICE INTERCEPTOR. All I had to was was make adapters with the thread on the inside on one end, and the thread on the outside on the opposite end. I could make a $1,000,000 marketing them, except for the fact each adapter takes so long to make manually. :)


Originally posted by somebody
Hey Sheriff,... when I saw the Red Foxx pic, I about rolled out of my chair!


He will go down in history as one of the best comedians ever. Next to Andy Griffith, Sanford & Son is right at the top of my "favorite reruns" list. I think I have seen every episode at least 399 times.




Originally posted by somebody
I've been following your posts for a few weeks now. I have to say that you have a unique sense of humor.

Ahh, Thank You! You done made my typing finger blush again! :D

[SHERIFF]

Here's a Fred Sanford joke..... :)

Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies.

She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies.

A while later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally together."

A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me father, but you do mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?"

Fred Sanford, sitting in the back row, stands up and shouts "He means her legs, you fool!"

[SHERIFF]

Another Fred Sanford joke...... :)


Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (with their habits partially blocking the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah; there are only 100 nuns living there."

The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana; there are only 50 nuns living there."

The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho; there are only 25 nuns living there."

Fred Sanford, distracted and annoyed by the entire conversation, looked at the men, and said, "Why don't you all go to Hell?...... there aren't any nuns living there, you fools!"

[SHERIFF]

A lady walks into Sanford & Son. She browses around, then spots the perfect leather sofa and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes Fred or Lamont don't show up right now.

As she turns back, sure enough, there standing next to her is Fred. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely leather sofa?"

He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you gonna crap your pants when you hear the price!"

[SHERIFF]

Right in the middle of church one day somebody shouted out, "The picalo player is a MF!"

The preacher looks around and said "Who said that?"

Fred Sanford stands up and says, "Preacher sir, I didn't say it. And preacher sir, I don't know who did say it. But preacher sir, what I want to know is this, who accused that MF of being a picalo player!"

[SHERIFF]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in Fred's town.

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"


The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize.

Fred stands up and says "You stay out of this, fool! She's talking to that little bastard sitting on your knee."

[SHERIFF]

Fred Sanford walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes.

"How do they feel?" asked the sales clerk.

"Well they feel a bit tight," replied Fred.

The assistant promptly bent down and had a look at the shoes and at Fred's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out next time," the clerk said.

Fred did as told and replied, "Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth, fool!"

[SHERIFF]

A lady lost her handbag while shopping at Sanford & Son one day. It was found by Fred and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are two $10 bills."

Fred quickly replied, "That's right, fool. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."