Cubs are my team, but man is this funny!

[CBT]

Friggin' Onion, this would be even funnier if it was about the White Sox. Joe will love this.

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/chicago-cubs-cant-believe-theyre-doing-this-again,19870/?utm_source=recentnews

[guspech750]

Lmao!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
That's good stuff.


"There's nothing I can do as a manager that's going to make a difference," said Quade, who in between hitting ground balls to his infielders could be heard mumbling, "I hate my life." "Christ, am I really about to put myself through six excruciating months of tinkering with batting orders and pitching rotations as if we have a serious shot of ending a century of mediocrity? It's ****ed up, but the answer is yes. And hearing myself say that makes me feel like I'm having a massive anxiety attack."
"Every time I walk out to the mound I just assure the guys that at least we will all be dead eventually," Quade continued.
When asked to voice their thoughts on the hopeful promise of Opening Day, several Cubs responded with "Ugh," "Not this crap again," "Thanks for ruining a perfectly nice day, *******," "We're going nowhere," and "Please, make this nightmare stop."
Despite the rampant cynicism and despair coming from the Cubs' clubhouse, team president Crane Kenney remained optimistic, saying there was still hope that a wealthy investor would eventually buy the franchise and mercifully shut it down for good.


Sent from my iPhone
Go White Sox!!!

[TAKEDOWN]

You know... I'm a White Sox Fan and I give Cub fans a hard time, but I'd never root against them because they're still a Chicago team. Sounds like they've given up before they even fought what a shame.
LOSERS!
What a waste of money, thank God I'm a SOX fan... ALL IN!

[tbone]

You know... I'm a White Sox Fan and I give Cub fans a hard time, but I'd never root against them because they're still a Chicago team.

That's the very first time I've ever heard a Sox fan say that.:beer:

[PonyUP]

Baseball is baseball because it has a reverance for history. True th Cubs haven't won a world series in over 100 years. But they also have never thrown or fixed a World Series, not all Chicago Baseball teams can claim that.

KaPoww!!!

[ChiTownMaraud3r]

That's the very first time I've ever heard a Sox fan say that.:beer:
I (white sox all the way) say it all the time. Mainly because they're still Chi-Town. The cubs are also more globally known than the Sox as the Chicago baseball team, even though the classic White Sox logo can be spotted on many more hats everywhere all over the world..like in Cali :rolleyes:..but also I think I would feel lucky to see the Cubs win a series in my lifetime, cause who knows if it would happen again.

[tbone]

No offense, but I find most Sox fans ornery cusses.

[guspech750]

I love baseball and will watch any game, Cubs, Sox, Mets, who ever. But I do not want the Cubs to ever win a World Series. I think it would be way cool and funny to keep the no World Series victory alive for another 500 years. But the White Sox won in 05 so the world can come to an end tomorrow and I would be ok. :)

[1 Bad Merc]

Baseball is baseball because it has a reverance for history. True th Cubs haven't won a world series in over 100 years. But they also have never thrown or fixed a World Series, not all Chicago Baseball teams can claim that.

KaPoww!!!

You have to get to a World Series first to even think about throwing one- KABBBOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

:banana:

[bosscj72]

I read this after being a Cubs fan since 1969. Watching endless games of almost winning (the Cardinals who I HATE SO MUCH) from the 70's and 80's who always beat the cubs with those ground ball hits that a 3rd grader would hit!

But then I read this BS on these spoiled, and don't give a damn jerks who are on this team and I want to throw up! When a manager says the things he said they should fire the entire team and bring up the double A team to give them a shot!

Thank God I live in Atlanta where I can see real baseball with a team that performs well most every year. Maybe someday 2012! The Cubs will finally win the World Series but probably not in my life time!

God did that tick me off!!!!

Thanks for sharing! :<)

[1 Bad Merc]

I read this after being a Cubs fan since 1969. Watching endless games of almost winning (the Cardinals who I HATE SO MUCH) from the 70's and 80's who always beat the cubs with those ground ball hits that a 3rd grader would hit!

But then I read this BS on these spoiled, and don't give a damn jerks who are on this team and I want to throw up! When a manager says the things he said they should fire the entire team and bring up the double A team to give them a shot!

Thank God I live in Atlanta where I can see real baseball with a team that performs well most every year. Maybe someday 2012! The Cubs will finally win the World Series but probably not in my life time!

God did that tick me off!!!!

Thanks for sharing! :<)

I think the Onion is a satirical type of newsletter and those comments were made up! I am sure they (Cubs) would not say things like that.

[guspech750]

I think the Onion is a satirical type of newsletter and those comments were made up! I am sure they (Cubs) would not say things like that.
I bet you they think it though!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Who knows. Maybe they will make it to the World Series and their plane will crash? What else is left that will keep them from there, well besides sucking!!!

[teamrope]

I think the Onion is a satirical type of newsletter and those comments were made up! I am sure they (Cubs) would not say things like that.

The Onion is pure satire. They come up with some funny stuff. :)

[PonyUP]

You have to get to a World Series first to even think about throwing one- KABBBOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

:banana:

I will now go to my box and feel shame :(

Thats the worst part about being a Cubs fan, thats the comment that will always shut us down

[dakslim]

Even though I'm a die hard Cubs fan...that was too funny. I bet some of them really think that way. Here's a newspaper cartoon that I clipped years ago. A lot of truth to it.

[PonyUP]

Even though I'm a die hard Cubs fan...that was too funny. I bet some of them really think that way. Here's a newspaper cartoon that I clipped years ago. A lot of truth to it.

You know whats funny about that Phil?, is Cub fans actually look like that guy in the cartoon. But get it straight, we start saying wait till next year in spring training

[tbone]

I love baseball and will watch any game, Cubs, Sox, Mets, who ever. But I do not want the Cubs to ever win a World Series. I think it would be way cool and funny to keep the no World Series victory alive for another 500 years. But the White Sox won in 05 so the world can come to an end tomorrow and I would be ok. :)

Like I said, White Sux fans are just ornery cusses!:shake:

[dakslim]

You know whats funny about that Phil?, is Cub fans actually look like that guy in the cartoon. But get it straight, we start saying wait till next year in spring training

Some of those "bleacher" bums do look like that.:eek: My son and I went to a game there in '92 or so and sat near the Cubs bullpen. We got to talk to some of the pitchers before the game. "Friendly confines" does pretty much sum it up.:D

[duhtroll]

Welp, hang it up. The Cubs have officially been mathematically eliminated form the playoffs.

[SC Cheesehead]

No offense, but I find most Chicago fans ornery cusses.

Fixed it for you (ask me how I know.... :D)

[SC Cheesehead]

Welp, hang it up. The Cubs have officially been mathematically eliminated form the playoffs.

^^^^^^ :rofl: too funny! :D

[tbone]

For Guspech......

[guspech750]

"Theres a what going on? I think I messed myself"

http://funnypiclol.com/wp-content/uploads/Wrigley-031611.jpg

I do recall someone being shot and killed after a Cubs game a few years ago.

[tbone]

Sorry Joe, but my pic rocks. Yours is.....:alone:

[guspech750]

I know its fake but it made laugh because its so true.

http://4funz.com/Funny-Pictures/memes/fail/img-wrigley-field-fail-756

[tbone]

Have you ever been there? I've never noticed any urine smell except driving through the "neighborhoods" to get to the cell.

[guspech750]

Phillies player files police report after beer shower

Wrigley Field bleachers incident called 'assault'

Associated Press

Aug. 13, 2009, 7:17PM


http://us.bc.yahoo.com/b?P=210b7c12-7417-11e0-b255-938faa634c16&T=19e24ojdq%2fX%3d1304270350%2 fE%3d2022775994%2fR%3dncsprtbs pr%2fK%3d5%2fV%3d8.1%2fW%3d0%2 fY%3dPARTNER_US%2fF%3d34265577 87%2fH%3dYWx0c3BpZD0iOTY3MjgzM zEzIiBzZXJ2ZUlkPSIyMTBiN2MxMi0 3NDE3LTExZTAtYjI1NS05MzhmYWE2M zRjMTYiIHNpdGVJZD0iNzYxMDUxIiB 0U3RtcD0iMTMwNDI3MDM1MDg1ODA1O CIgdGFyZ2V0PSJfdG9wIiA-%2fQ%3d-1%2fS%3d1%2fJ%3d8D890D4C&U=128elmhfq%2fN%3d3Wd2HtFJpB8-%2fC%3d-1%2fD%3dBTN2%2fB%3d-1%2fV%3d5

[/URL]
http://www.chron.com/photos/2009/08/12/17873361/260xStory.jpg
Jonathan Daniel Getty Images

Shane Victorino of the Philadelphia Phillies is hit by a beer thrown by a fan in the bleachers.


Share
[URL="http://del.icio.us/post?url=http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/bb/6571563.html&title=Player files police report after Wrigley Field beer shower | Baseball | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle"]http://images.chron.com/common/735/ext/images/delicious.pngDel.icio.us (http://www.chron.com/photos/2009/08/12/17873361/260xStory.jpg)
http://images.chron.com/common/735/ext/images/digg.pngDigg (http://digg.com/submit?phase=2&url=http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/bb/6571563.html&title=Player files police report after Wrigley Field beer shower | Baseball | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle)
http://images.chron.com/common/735/ext/images/twitter.gifTwitter (http://twitter.com/home?status=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.c hron.com%2Fdisp%2Fstory.mpl%2F sports%2Fbb%2F6571563.html%20-%20Player%20files%20police%20r eport%20after%20Wrigley%20Fiel d%20beer%20shower%20%7C%20Base ball%20%7C%20Chron.com%20-%20Houston%20Chronicle)
http://images.chron.com/photos/2009/03/05/facebook/facebook.gifFacebook (http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/bb/6571563.html&t=Player files police report after Wrigley Field beer shower | Baseball | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle)
http://images.chron.com/common/735/ext/images/16x16_su_shadow.gifStumbleUpon (http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ch ron.com%2Fdisp%2Fstory.mpl%2Fs ports%2Fbb%2F6571563.html%26ti tle%3DPlayer%20files%20police% 20report%20after%20Wrigley%20F ield%20beer%20shower%20%7C%20B aseball%20%7C%20Chron.com%20-%20Houston%20Chronicle)
http://images.chron.com/common/735/ext/images/eaf.pngEmail (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/bb/6571563.html#)

Close [X] (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/bb/6571563.html#)







CHICAGO — A man turned himself in to police Thursday, hours after Philadelphia Phillies center fielder Shane Victorino filed a police report about getting doused with beer at Wrigley Field.
Police said the man was being questioned. The incident during Wednesday night’s game was being investigated as a “simple battery.”
Victorino was hit by a cup of beer thrown from the bleachers while trying to catch a fly ball in the Phillies’ 12-5 win over the Chicago Cubs. The All-Star outfielder managed to make the grab, and Cubs chairman Crane Kenney apologized to him in person before Thursday’s game.
“It’s part of the game. It’s one of those things that happens and I just want to make sure that guy gets what’s due,” Victorino said prior to the Phillies’ 6-1 win.
“I think he needs to be held accountable. But for the most part, I just see it as the guy thought it was fun. It is what it is. It didn’t cost me in any way and it didn’t hurt me in any way. It’s part of the ballgame,” he said.
Victorino filed the police report Thursday. Shortly after the game, police said a man turned himself in.
Cubs chairman Crane Kenney, manager Lou Piniella and general manager Jim Hendry apologized to Victorino.
“I said, ‘Listen, sorry,’” Kenney said after talking to Victorino near the Phillies’ dugout.
“It shouldn’t have happened here. It’s not a good reflection on our city or organization,” he said. “We’re going to do whatever we can to make sure that things are made right here. And he said, ‘I know you are and I appreciate your help.’”
Victorino was on the warning track and in front of the ivy-covered wall, set to catch a sacrifice fly by Jake Fox in the fifth inning, when the cup of beer came flying out of the bleachers and went all over him.
According to local media reports, security personnel questioned a man who was taunting Victorino while the fan who actually threw the beer got away.
“I just think that, not so much that I want to press charges or file anything against him. I just think he’s probably sitting at home thinking he got away with it. I hope that he gets the understanding that you can’t be doing things like that,” Victorino said.
“I don’t think he’d be walking too far if something like that happened in the streets. It’s just not something that you do. For the most part, in the big picture, this guy should be held accountable and something should be done,” he said.
Kenney called the incident “an assault.”
“The obvious one is he threw some beer on him. But let’s say the beer was in his eyes and he got hit in the head. Then, what’s the next thing that gets thrown from the stands?” Kenney said.
“It just can’t happen for safety reasons and it’s just not right.”

[guspech750]

Have you ever been there? I've never noticed any urine smell except driving through the "neighborhoods" to get to the cell.
Oh hell yes I have been there. Many times brotha!! And if you want to go to a game there or at the Cell or Kane County Cougars. Im game. Its baseball!!!

[guspech750]

Man, 26, shot dead outside Wrigley


Email (http://sendtofriend.espn.go.com/sendtofriend/SendToFriend?URL=http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=1797122&title=Man%20killed%20near%20Wr igley%20after%20attending%20ga me&id=1797122)
Print (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/print?id=1797122&type=story)
ESPN.com news services

CHICAGO -- A 26-year-old man was gunned down in the street near Wrigley Field after watching the Cubs play on Thursday.
Frank Hernandez was shot about 90 minutes after the Cubs beat the Diamondbacks 11-3.
Authorities say the incident started when Hernandez was cut off by two men in a SUV as he was crossing an intersection near Wrigley at about 6 p.m.
Police say Hernandez hit the SUV with a miniature baseball bat and then broke the souvenir over the driver's head when the driver got out of the vehicle. Police say that's when the SUV's passenger got out and shot Hernandez in the upper abdomen.
Hernandez collapsed on the sidewalk. Paramedics performed CPR, but Hernandez was later pronounced dead at Illinois Masonic Medical Center.
"He went to the Cubs game, and he was just waiting, got out and right there he got shot," a friend of the Hernandez family told the Chicago Sun-Times as he sat crying outside the hospital emergency room. "He told me, 'I'm gonna see the Cubs today. I'll go and see my buddies.'"
According to the Sun-Times, two Chicago police officers who were parked in a squad car half a block away saw the fight break out and were watching in their rear-view mirror as Hernandez was shot.
Witnesses told the newspaper that police took several men into custody almost immediately.
Hernandez had attended the game with best friend Brad Wallace Jr.
"From what I've heard, they were crossing the street," Margaret Wallace, Brad's mother, told the Sun-Times. "There was a fight behind them. My son got to the curb and turned around. He heard two pops and went to talk to Frankie, and he was on the ground."
Chicago police sergeant Robert Cargie says two men remain in custody in connection with the shooting but no charges have been filed.

[tbone]

No soup for you!

No 'hood is worse than the one around the cell. :)