SHERIFF
01-16-2004, 07:09 AM
The 10 most important things Al Gore's Internet has taught me.....
1) Every female participating is 5'4", 112 pounds, and rates a 9.89 on a scale of 1 to 10. They will accept a date without even seeing a picture of you first.
2) Every male participating is 6'4", 190 pounds, independantly wealthy, a former Navy Seal Team member, retired from the CIA, and have their choice of 25 different babes on a daily basis. Even though they are only 26 years old.
3) Every car on the face of the earth, up to and including the 2004 and 2005 models models, is an fugly POS. The only exception is if you're lucky enough to have an old rust bucket Cordoba sitting in the back yard behind mom's trailer. It doesn't even have to have an engine in it.
4) Whether you own a 1980 Chevette, or a 2004 Corvette Z06, somebody is going to be jealous of you.
5) Most people will not trade their 8-year-old car for a brand new one free, because it has served them so well for almost a decade.
6) An extremely high post count on 312 different forums is not indicative of a "lifeless butterball geek", it simplys mean the person is a fast typist.
7) If somebody claims to own 3, 4, 5, 6, or more vehicles, you know they are lying. State laws prohibit an individual or family from owning more than 2 cars at a time. We all know this, but people think they can fool us.
8) 14 year old snot nosed kiddies are 21 on the Internet, and 58 year old men are actually 34 years old.
9) Just when you thought you had seen it all..... some moron will get a new computer, sign onto the Internet, and prove you ain't seen nothing yet!
10) If you put a Type R emblem on a foreign car, it's rice! But if you put a POLICE INTERCEPTOR emblem on a car, it's stylish!
1) Every female participating is 5'4", 112 pounds, and rates a 9.89 on a scale of 1 to 10. They will accept a date without even seeing a picture of you first.
2) Every male participating is 6'4", 190 pounds, independantly wealthy, a former Navy Seal Team member, retired from the CIA, and have their choice of 25 different babes on a daily basis. Even though they are only 26 years old.
3) Every car on the face of the earth, up to and including the 2004 and 2005 models models, is an fugly POS. The only exception is if you're lucky enough to have an old rust bucket Cordoba sitting in the back yard behind mom's trailer. It doesn't even have to have an engine in it.
4) Whether you own a 1980 Chevette, or a 2004 Corvette Z06, somebody is going to be jealous of you.
5) Most people will not trade their 8-year-old car for a brand new one free, because it has served them so well for almost a decade.
6) An extremely high post count on 312 different forums is not indicative of a "lifeless butterball geek", it simplys mean the person is a fast typist.
7) If somebody claims to own 3, 4, 5, 6, or more vehicles, you know they are lying. State laws prohibit an individual or family from owning more than 2 cars at a time. We all know this, but people think they can fool us.
8) 14 year old snot nosed kiddies are 21 on the Internet, and 58 year old men are actually 34 years old.
9) Just when you thought you had seen it all..... some moron will get a new computer, sign onto the Internet, and prove you ain't seen nothing yet!
10) If you put a Type R emblem on a foreign car, it's rice! But if you put a POLICE INTERCEPTOR emblem on a car, it's stylish!