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SC Cheesehead
11-07-2012, 04:31 AM
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime Information Center)

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....


16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Mike
11-07-2012, 05:13 AM
:lol: Nice Rex!!!

Bigdogjim
11-07-2012, 06:22 AM
Nice use of a website:) I have no issues with the fine men and women who patrol the highways in the State of S.C.

They are great answers but #11 is too cool:up:

Ms. Denmark
11-07-2012, 11:33 AM
LOL Rex! Just one more reason I will never live in South Carolina.

fastblackmerc
11-07-2012, 11:50 AM
LOL Rex! Just one more reason I will never live in South Carolina.

What Rex posted is what they say to Southerners.... what they say to Northerners can't be posted here!!!!!

SC Cheesehead
11-07-2012, 11:59 AM
What Rex posted is what they say to Southerners.... what they say to Northerners can't be posted here!!!!!

http://forums.maxima.org/images/smilies/werd.gif


ask me how I know..... ;) -------------> :D

Haggis
11-07-2012, 12:11 PM
LOL Rex! Just one more reason I will never live in South Carolina.

When I move again it will be away from the east coast.

SC Cheesehead
11-07-2012, 12:16 PM
When I move again it will be away from the east coast.


You'd fit in real well in Wisconsin, Gordon; let me know when you decide to relocate, enso.

http://rlv.zcache.com/oktoberfest_eat_brats_drink_be er_2_postcard-p239538744474078612z85wg_400.j pg

Haggis
11-07-2012, 12:28 PM
You'd fit in real well in Wisconsin, Gordon; let me know when you decide to relocate, enso.

http://rlv.zcache.com/oktoberfest_eat_brats_drink_be er_2_postcard-p239538744474078612z85wg_400.j pg

No I would not. They voted for Obamnuts.

SC Cheesehead
11-07-2012, 12:30 PM
No I would not. They voted for Obamnuts.

Not all of 'em, believe me, not all of 'em....

Haggis
11-07-2012, 12:36 PM
Not all of 'em, believe me, not all of 'em....

Enough to color the state blue. Not moving there, farther west.

Mr. Man
11-07-2012, 12:36 PM
What Rex posted is what they say to Southerners.... what they say to Northerners can't be posted here!!!!!
Get over it, you lost :P

fastblackmerc
11-07-2012, 12:50 PM
Get over it, you lost :P

Never got "it". Born & raised in northern N.J.

CBT
11-07-2012, 03:13 PM
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."



Love that one, lol.

Last time I got stopped:

State Trooper - "Where you headed in such a hurry?" :mad:
Me - "Chicago." :cool:
State Trooper - (Laughing as he looks up I-64 towards the direction I'm going) "Chicago?! You're not off to a very good start, you havn't even made it out of your own zip code!" :P
Me - :(

Got a warning for being honest. :)

Shaijack
11-07-2012, 03:19 PM
Rex those were great.

SC Cheesehead
11-07-2012, 03:46 PM
Rex those were great.

Yup, LEOs with a sense of humor, what's not to love? :D

ajdereicup
11-07-2012, 04:48 PM
Those were really funny. I wouldn't mind getting pulled over as much if they'd have a sense of humor...and just gave me warnings:P

CBT
11-07-2012, 05:14 PM
Those were really funny. I wouldn't mind getting pulled over as much if they'd have a sense of humor...and just gave me warnings:P

The Trooper that got me was a young guy, did a tour in the Marines, got out, became a Trooper. I was closing in on a semi going up a long hill, so I shifted left into the hammer lane and stomped it. As soon as the Marauder kicked down I looked between the trees in the median and he was pointed at me. Frack, I just kept the peddle down, flew around the semi and dove for the shoulder and hit the brakes and sat there. Trooper waits for a break in the traffic, drives straight across 4 lanes, pulls up to my back bumper. I don't even think he hit his lights.

Trooper - "Do you know why I pulled you over?" :mad:
Me - "Uhhhh...I believe I pulled mySELF over." :D
Trooper - :shake: :mad:

He did thank me for pulling so far over, so he had room to stand next to my door without being on the highway, I remember him mentioning that. That was followed by "Where you going in such a hurry?" I explained why I happened to be screaming past him, told him I didn't want to be trapped behind a semi, he just happened to be RIGHT THERE when I kicked it. I fully expected a ticket, I was over the limit, no doubt about it. I've gotten a break on some tickets over the years, I don't know why exactly. I just tell the truth and be polite. Caught is caught, no sense getting pissed off.

rayjay
11-07-2012, 06:32 PM
Too funny Rex. If I was still active duty I'd use some of those. Actually the Troopers I've met there have been nice guys, but of course I'm biased. :D

The latest torque off of the day was the price to get a never used gas fireplace up and running. No thanks, I'll do it myself. :censor:

Our closing is all set, all utilities arranged. Several minor issues with the house corrected by the previous owner. Now what am I supposed to do on Thanksgiving? I'd planned on doing home repairs. I bet my new neighbors would love me running a chainsaw at 0800 on Thanksgiving morning. :lol: To me is just another work day. I used to do doubles on that day. Christmas was triple time pay...

Haggis
11-08-2012, 06:00 AM
The Trooper that got me was a young guy, did a tour in the Marines, got out, became a Trooper. I was closing in on a semi going up a long hill, so I shifted left into the hammer lane and stomped it. As soon as the Marauder kicked down I looked between the trees in the median and he was pointed at me. Frack, I just kept the peddle down, flew around the semi and dove for the shoulder and hit the brakes and sat there. Trooper waits for a break in the traffic, drives straight across 4 lanes, pulls up to my back bumper. I don't even think he hit his lights.

Trooper - "Do you know why I pulled you over?" :mad:
Me - "Uhhhh...I believe I pulled mySELF over." :D
Trooper - :shake: :mad:

He did thank me for pulling so far over, so he had room to stand next to my door without being on the highway, I remember him mentioning that. That was followed by "Where you going in such a hurry?" I explained why I happened to be screaming past him, told him I didn't want to be trapped behind a semi, he just happened to be RIGHT THERE when I kicked it. I fully expected a ticket, I was over the limit, no doubt about it. I've gotten a break on some tickets over the years, I don't know why exactly. I just tell the truth and be polite. Caught is caught, no sense getting pissed off.

LMMFAOPIMP :lol:

ajdereicup
11-08-2012, 09:54 AM
Lol thats pretty funny. I had one flip a youturn in the middle of a busy road to come after me for going 1 block from the gas station to work without a seatbelt. I was nice and explained but I still got a ticket "because he wants to keep seeing me around" :(

CBT
11-08-2012, 05:40 PM
Lol thats pretty funny. I had one flip a youturn in the middle of a busy road to come after me for going 1 block from the gas station to work without a seatbelt. I was nice and explained but I still got a ticket "because he wants to keep seeing me around" :(

Coming back from Louisville one year, me and CBTjr, haggis and Ladyhawke, and Silversurfer and TCB01 were zipping down the interstate 3 wide, taking pics, goofing off and whatnot. We got some great shots and right when we all started to hammer it I look over one last time and I'll be damn if a trooper didn't zip down an on ramp and get beside us, I mean right dead even beside us, 4 panthers wide. But he stopped on the shoulder!! I let out an awwww **** followed by a WTF?? Good times, lol.

Haggis
11-09-2012, 06:47 AM
Coming back from Louisville one year, me and CBTjr, haggis and Ladyhawke, and Silversurfer and TCB01 were zipping down the interstate 3 wide, taking pics, goofing off and whatnot. We got some great shots and right when we all started to hammer it I look over one last time and I'll be damn if a trooper didn't zip down an on ramp and get beside us, I mean right dead even beside us, 4 panthers wide. But he stopped on the shoulder!! I let out an awwww **** followed by a WTF?? Good times, lol.

That was great, I thought you were going to blow a gasket.