Your Best "Get out of Jail Free" story [Archive]

Dan

04-15-2004, 10:10 AM

OK, you thought you were gonna get a speeding ticket - or maybe arrested, you KNEW you got nailed for speeding dead to rights but, at the last second you came up with something incredible to say to the LEO (law enforcement officer) and got off with something a lot nicer like a warning, an equipment violation or an unsafe lane change violation.

Here is what we want to know...
1. What speed did you get clocked at? (Please note that we already know that you weren't possibly driving that fast and that the equipment was faulty, right? Riiiiiiight!:lol:)
2. What did you say to avoid the worst?
3. What did you wind up with?

After a few posts I will offer up a story or two of my own. I have some that are bound to make you laugh. But I won't go first so, let's hear it.

Best,

Dan

2003 MIB

04-15-2004, 10:14 AM

Three (3) speeding violations turned to warnings- Marine Corps sticker on back window. Texas DPS recruits the "soon to be discharged" heavily.

THE_INTERCEPTOR

04-15-2004, 11:12 AM

my excuse works all the time.

I've got my DOD sticker (Air Force) on my front window, and my active duty ID in FRONT of my driver's license for this purpose :)

Every time I get pulled over (not TOO often) they see the military ID before I get my driver's license. They ask me where I'm going, and I tell them that I'm on my way home on leave for a week before I deploy overseas to ________ (fill in the blank with any of the 'stans' countries) :D

I've been warned twice to just slow it down, and good luck overseas. One guy even talked to me for about 2 minutes about how he was prior Navy.

Gotta love the perks of being part of the World's strongest Air Force :rock:

MARAUDERCHICK

04-15-2004, 12:03 PM

Hey Dan!!

Just curious........aside from being a Real Estate Investor.......
Are you a LEO????

~Kathy~

Paul T. Casey

04-15-2004, 12:20 PM

Hey Dan!!

Just curious........aside from being a Real Estate Investor.......
Are you a LEO????

I'll take a chance he's not. No speeding stories, but illegal lights. y current and on-going mid-life crisis, I installed neon lights on the underside of my 90 Country Squire. Always run with them on. One night, the local LEO's were passing out tickets to all the young-ens on the beach strip for them. (a great idea, revenue enhancement for the town, lower taxes for me.) Anyway, returning from the ice cream stand with all my somewhat grown kids in the car (ages 17-22 at the time) I was pulled over. Let me remind all that I'm probably the most vocal supporter of our Police Dept in town, often writting letters to the editor praising their work, showing up at town hall supporting their needs, etc. Not for any other purpose than they deserve it, and I owe them big time for all the help they've given me. Well the young officer comes to my window and says, "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Casey, I didn't realize it was you. Hey, listen, tonight we're cracking down on those undercar lights, could you please turn yours off? If you could. Well thanks, and have a good night."
My two sons were floored. "Why's he so nice to you?" That's when I re-explained how it's important to treat others as you want them to treat you. I think they finally got it that time! :)

Ross

04-15-2004, 12:23 PM

Many years ago, after I came back from Korea, I was stationed at Fort Hood for my last few months. One night I was returning from the Officer's Club, and of course I hadn't been drinking! :beer: I was going a little too fast (and I mean a little, they're pretty strict on military posts) and an MP stopped me. Just as he was about to write me a ticket, he got an emergency call on his radio and said, "I have an emergency to run to. Drive carefully, sir!" He took off in the other direction and I drove home a little more slowly!

woaface

04-15-2004, 01:16 PM

My brother is Navy and has decals on his front bumper to get onto the base and also his ID.

He tells me all his stories and how everytime he gets pulled over the second his Navy ID pops out the look on the officers face changes. "I swear, every officer here was either been in the Navy or has a cousin or brother there" And he gets off all the time in his homestate of Washington.

ONE time however, a rent-a-cop for the apartment complex he was in gave him a ticket for not completing a stop, which he swears on the bible he did. He threw the ticket back at the guy and said "Maybe one day you'll be a real cop" rolled up his window and drove off!

The officer never came back after him or sent "real cops" to pursue:lol:

Ross

04-15-2004, 01:19 PM

What kind of ticket could a rent a cop give? Was he supposed to go pay the make believe ticket with play money or something?

woaface

04-15-2004, 01:35 PM

no clue:confused:

Bluerauder

04-15-2004, 02:01 PM

Here is what we want to know...
1. What speed did you get clocked at? (Please note that we already know that you weren't possibly driving that fast and that the equipment was faulty, right? Riiiiiiight!:lol:)
2. What did you say to avoid the worst?
3. What did you wind up with?
Dan

1. 67 in a 45
2. Nothing, he saw my retired military ID
3. A verbal warning and compliments on the car.

Full story was posted on the Storyboard a couple weeks ago.
:up:

dwasson

04-15-2004, 04:10 PM

I was living in Omaha and working as a field service manager for a company that sold retail POS systems. I had accepted a transfer out of Omaha and was leaving in two weeks. So, my replacement came in for the hand-off, transferring in from Chicago. I picked up my replacement at the airport and we were driving to the hospital in Beatrice NE for a service call on the hospital gift shop inventory computer. I was doing 78 mph on I-80 in a 55 zone (it was 1982) when the state trooper pulled me over. As I pulled over I asked the guy with me for his business card. As the trooper greeted me I said, "Sir, I realize that I was going a little fast. I'm heading to the hospital in Beatrice to repair their computer and I just picked up our expert from Chicago at the airport." To my surprise the cop let me go telling me to be careful. I tried this once more with a cop in Jefferson City MO but he was less impressed.

BigMerc

04-15-2004, 05:42 PM

I pull my license from behind my badge, a quick look and its off to 25 over in 5 more minutes, minus an agency patch ( of which I keep several of in my center console)

Smokie

04-15-2004, 05:59 PM

I don't recall exactly when I was last pulled over, I am sure it was in the 80's, it was the Highway Patrol and he just gave me a warning, he asked me why I was going fast and I told him the truth, my company gives me 2 days work to complete in one day....maybe he understood the difference between speeding for fun and having a job that pushes you over the limit.

Marauderman

04-15-2004, 06:54 PM

Here is one of two:

Back in earily '70's while on I-26 towards Charleston ,S.C., Wife and I had stopped on side of the interstate to change the baby's diapers...

It was dark around 9PM...I was sore from driving from northern Va. nonstop to Charleston, and had taken off my shoes during this stop to give my feet a break.

After wife finished with kids , I started back onto the interstate from the emergency shoulder ..(my right heel has an extended bone in the heel which was causing my soreness)... onto the roadway, I notice a line of cars way way back in single file ..though ..that's funny,...

I was driving a big window van, GMC with a 350, four barrel...anyway as the line caught up to me I though I better push it a little more to make sure I don't get run over as they came up fast on my rear..but yet no one passed..just stayed in single file.. still thinking thats not what cars have been doing all night long before....hummn...

As I punched it, blowing dark black smoke out the pipes onto the car following me, I noticed the car following me immediated move over to straddle the lanes and then a bunch of flashing blue lights bounched off the van!!! I knew then why all those cars were in single file...are you going to pass an Highway Patrol Trooper at night--I didn't think so--neither where they---But I didn't know he was the lead car...duh!!!

The Trooper says " I saw you pulling back onto the road, and I thought you knew who I was --everyone else did--but when you blow smoke up my nose in front of all those behind me, I'm no way gonna let you embarrasse me in front of all those folks....."

MY BIG LINE-- I tell him " I just removed my shoes( no lie) for my bone problem( no lie) and my foot slippped off the gas and got trapped on the dog house (engine cover).....and Yeah--of course I knew you were behind me--you thing I crazy--no way would I do what happen with family.".. He ask me out of van to see my foot......Got warning Ticket...

Marauderman

04-15-2004, 07:15 PM

Here is number 2:

Whle traveling up I-77 , in earily '80's, with a '79 Grand Prix , all traffic had to detour off onto state road for 44 miles and pick back up the interstate( underconstruction)-

This state road , for 44 miles was two lane and almost no place to pass safely...so..

Right when it opens up into a four lane divided highway (grass medium),
with me about six cars back, I punch it saying I've had enough of this slow crap.. and boom..I go left and pass everyone and as I do no more than 1/2 mile up the road it curves right and in the middle of the medium is a State Trooper with his radar ... with me leading the pack now and especially fast and over the speed limit, I knew I was done...

As I go bye, I notice in the mirrors his blue lights flash on but he cannot move out to the road due to traffic--there were alot of single file cars behind me ....figuring it had to be me he was after , I slowed and pull over off the road way up the road ..get out and am leaning on the car with my license and other papers waiting for him to arrive....he arrives a minute or so later , really, and the biggest Trooper I ever saw, must have been 6' 6" tall
got out an approached me...

He words were.." I've been doing this for 15 years, and no one,, I mean no one,, has ever been waiting for me to catch up to him stopped on the side of the road"... I wasn't sure just what that was for me--good or bad---

After running me on his computer while sitting in his car , he says "tell me why your waiting on me".

BY BIG LINE-- I say-" Of course I saw you as I was coming around that curve ---I was trying to pass all those slow cars while setting my cruise control and it was sticking--I soon as I saw you when doing that looking at my speed and said --"yeah --of course you see my problem" - I'm speeding due to this crappy cruise control thingy"....so I pull over knowing it was me you had to have zeroed.....He gives me a warning ticket.....

Tom

Dan

04-15-2004, 08:35 PM

Nope, not a LEO.

BigMerc, you're cheating. How creative is it to pull a badge? :)

Tom, great stories. Here is one that happened to me just two summers ago...

At the time I owned BMW 3 series with a baby six. It was a solid car and stuck to the road like glue at speed. My wife and I were going to a religious convention about 30 miles away and I was trying to make time on a Saturday morning so as to get a good seat.

I am closing in on 90 mph in the fast lane when I went over a bridge and spotted the LEO on the left with his radar going. I said to my wife, "Honey, I'm gonna get pulled over!" To which she replied, "Well, then why aren't you slowing down?" To which I said, "Why? If I am going to get a ticket for speeindg anyway?"

She huffed.

So it was about a mile and a half later that he pulled me over. (NOTE: I slowed my speed as soon as it was obvious that he was indeed after me. I don't evade.) The extra time gave me some time to think.

When he approached my car he asked me if I knew how fast I was going and I said, "Will the truth set me free?" He said, "It'll sure help." So I told him how fast I thought he clocked me at, which was about 5 mph less than I thought I was going.

5 minutes later he handed me a ticket for 70 in a 65. In CT, if you send in a 5 over ticket with a Not Guilty plea you almost always get a nollie. That is what I did and that was what happened.

It was sweet. And the irony of asking that question on the way to a religious convention was delicious.

Best,

Dan

Dan

04-15-2004, 08:47 PM

One time I laughed my way out of a ticket. I really, really did.

I was cruising in a Contour down the Garden State Parkway when I noticed an NJSP pulling out from serving a "customer." I slowed down to let him ahead of me. You see, in all of the states I have driven in I have found that NJ drivers like to give up the fast lane the least. I figured that following a cop would save me some time.

So I followed him for about a mile and he yanks it into the left lane shoulder, pulls in behind me and pulls me over. This had me confused.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Officer, I know I wasn't speeding so I haven't the faintest idea."
"I pulled you over for failure to move right."
"WHAT??? WILL YOU PLEASE REPEAT THAT???"
Now a little angry, "I SAID, I pulled you over for failure to move right."

At that point I broke out into spontaneous laughter. I just could not believe that ANYONE in NJ would ever get a ticket for that. So, as I am laughing the cop says,

"WHAT IN THE H3LL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!!!"

I said (Mind you, I was speaking while I was laughing), "Officer, you have just restored my faith in law enforcement. my number one pet peeve is that people don't move right. I am always complaining to my friends and familiy about this and now, here I am being pulled over for it. PLEASE, no one I know will believe this happened to me. You just GOTTA write me a ticket so that I can prove that there are still cops out there who enforce all of the laws."

So he asked my why I didn't move right and I expained that each time he sped up the car to my right sped and and vice versa when he slowed down so I couldn't safely move right.

He went back to the car and came back without even giving me a warning. I told him that I wanted a warning at least.

As I watched him walk back to his car in my side view mirror I could see him shaking his head from left to right like he did not know what just happened.

It was priceless and all spontaneous.

Best,

Dan

jabird56

04-15-2004, 10:12 PM

1. 120 in a 65, in a 69 Olds 442.

2. The LEO walking up said "as fast as you were doing you best have a pilots license!"

3. I provided him my multi-engine rating pilot's license. He looked at it, grinned, handed it back.

4. He said have a nice day and walked back to his cruiser and drove off.

Dan

04-16-2004, 04:09 AM

Now THAT is a classic. :thumbsup:

Haggis

04-16-2004, 04:49 AM

BigMerc

04-16-2004, 06:43 AM

who cares about creative, subtstance over style any day. savings in speeding fines.........priceless

Dan

04-16-2004, 06:58 AM

Can't argue with that. You do get points for being pragmatic. :)

stock93cv

04-20-2004, 08:53 PM

Warning ticket??? What the hell is a warning ticket? I've been driving for almost (*&*(^ (i.e. many) years , and I have never received a "warning" ticket, just a good old "this is going to cost you 3 points and $150" warning ticket.
Jeez. What the hell is a "warning" ticket? Maybe a US state phenomenom?

dwasson

04-21-2004, 08:41 AM

ParkRanger

04-21-2004, 09:14 AM

Try this one -

Buy a copy of your states vehicle code book (the big thick version that LEO's use) and whenever you get pulled over take it out and place on top of the dash in clear view for the officer to see when he/she walks up to your window.
:confused:

It will have a disconcerting effect on the LEO and is a great ice breaker. Use whatever story you can come up with to explain why it's there. :D

PR :burnout:

Dan

04-21-2004, 12:41 PM

I wonder how to get one of those.

It seems like a good suggestion.

Best,

Dan

darebren

04-21-2004, 12:53 PM

this is very simple as follows:

Approach #1: when pulling drivers license from wallet, drop a $100 dollar bill on the floor, pick it up and ask the officer if he dropped it...and then follow his lead..

Approach #2: tell the officer that by your speeding is doing a greater good.. other people see you speed up behind them and they slow down and move over to the right lane thinking you are an officer of the law... so by helping to increase the safety of the roadway, the faster you go, the more people you can surprise, and the more help you can do to increase the overall safety of the roads...and then follow his lead..

to this day, neither of the above have worked successfully for me... but I keep trying!

jgc61sr2002

04-21-2004, 04:07 PM

jrzygrl

04-21-2004, 04:55 PM

Thanksgiving weekend, driving down RT55 to St. Louis. Clocked at 85.
I had my license ready when he was at the window, nice as pie I said I probably deserve it and here's my license. He takes it and says he clocked me at 85 and didn't know Navigators went that fast. Checks my license, gives it back with a warning for doing 70. Not sure why, but, cool non-the-less. Only the second time I've been pulled over, ever..first time was on Rt55 many years before with a warning also, had larger tires on the back of a 72 Cadillac, the LEO saw the blue on the whitewalls and believed me when I told him my speedo was off.

Marc

04-22-2004, 09:04 AM

Driving south on I-77 in VA. We went through some tunnel where the speed limit drops to 55 going through the tunnel. I didn't adjust my speed and went through at somewhere between around 75 mph. Right at the end of the tunnel, there was a trooper waiting and timing everyone coming out. As soon as I saw him, I pulled over. I bet he never got his car up to 35 mph. Knowing I was going 75, he asked "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I said, "Yep, I was going too fast. About 63 mph." He said, OK, and wrote me a ticket for 63 mph, which cost me all of $50 at the time. I also always make sure that he can see my hands when he approaches the car, because those guys never know who there coming up against.

I just think that if I'm honest and make their job easier, they'll go easy on me.

gpfarrell

04-23-2004, 06:24 AM

I think the statute of limitations has expired, so here goes:

Shop class, my senior year in high school, and we're BS'ing about cars. My buddy with the 400ci small-block Chevelle said something & I agreed with him. The mullet-head with the 1979 Firebird says, "What would you know... you drive an old man's car!" Said "old man's car" was/is my 1978 Marquis with a 460 and dual exhaust (Was I James 15 years ago!?)

I mention it might be an old man's car, but it would wupp his Candybird anytime, anywhere.

Wind up next to him on the 6-lane cruise strip. He says his car goes best from 30mph, so he wants a rolling start. My car has a 2.50 rear end... hee-hee. I wupp him. We try 50 mph... I wupp him. Dead start... I wupp him. Anything he tried... the Merc would hike her fender skirts and march away. This is where I thought the story ended.

Fast forward a week... high school football game. I'm chatting with a part-time local cop who works full time in the township where we had our (ahem) acceleration comparissons.

He say, "Greg, maybe you can help me. I was talking to the good Lt. Nutbuster out in X-township and he said, 'You know lots of the cars in the North Boros... can you help me find a couple?'"... so the local cops tells me he says, "Sure, what are they?"

Turns out the good Lt. was headed the other way when we were rac...uh, comparing... and couldn't get turned around. The good Lt. tells the local guy about a really odd race he saw... the one car was a red Firebird and the other was a red & white Mer-Creee Marquis... and the Mer-Creee was gettin' the better of the Firebird!

At this point, 18-year-old me isn't sure if I'm getting arrested and car's getting impounded or what. But I had one ace... the local cop and I both knew something about the Firebird driver... his Dad was a local police chief... don't want to rustle any feathers there!

So I said, "Oh! I know a guy with a red Firebird!" The local says, "Me too. We're more interested in the other car."

"Hmm... could the other car have maybe been a Chrysler?"

"NO. He's sure it was a Merc-Cree."

"Boy. I dunno. Wait a minute... I have a Mercury... but mine's yellow... Or at least it will be by tomorrow morning!"

Local cop laughs!!! Phew! Says I better watch myself, and to stay away from the 6-lane for "awhile"... then says... "so you were really getting the Firebird huh?"

Bluerauder

04-23-2004, 08:31 AM

I think the statute of limitations has expired, so here goes:

".... snip ...." "Boy. I dunno. Wait a minute... I have a Mercury... but mine's yellow... Or at least it will be by tomorrow morning!"

Local cop laughs!!! Phew! Says I better watch myself, and to stay away from the 6-lane for "awhile"... then says... "so you were really getting the Firebird huh?"

Great story .... how did the yellow paint job turn out? :lol:

Sorry to inform you that the Statute of Limitations on Yellow is 25 years ... you plan on being home tonight ....????
:lol:

Dan

04-24-2004, 10:54 AM

Here are a few things that I have learned about the traffic stop...

The LEO almost always asks you if you know how fast you were going. The problem is there are no safe answers to the question. For example...
1. No, I don't. LOE: Deserves a ticket for innatentive driving
2. Yes, I do and I wasn't speeding. LEO: Lying to me, deserve tickets.
3. Yes, I was going XX mph. LEO: Can be merciful, if he wants to, but if he doesn't you have just admitted your guilt and have made it impossible to fight and win in court.

I have found the best answer is a straight, "Yes" followed by silence. If he then asks what it was revert back to, "Will the truth set me free?". But ask very nicely and honestly. This puts him in the same quandry that he has put you in. and turnabout it always fair play. If he says yes then go ahead and tell him. Most cops are truthful and you will go free. If he says no then just tell him that you were "driving at a safe and reasonable speed for the road conditions, your vehicle and your ability" or at a "with due regard to safety."

Best,

Dan

JGaignat

04-26-2004, 11:04 PM

6:10am, September 20, 1999. Flying through town doing about 55+ in a 35 zone. Wifey in passenger seat doubled over crying "hurry, hurry". Motorcycle cop comes after me. I pull in a parking lot, jump out with my arms in the air screaming "MY WIFE'S IN LABOR!!!!" We were about a mile from the hospital. He didn't get off his bike (which he weighed more than) and motioned me on. He didn't give me an escort. 35 minutes later, our daughter was born. :)

Memorial weekend 1993. After spending a miserable night at the lake with our 6 month old son crying most of the night. This was the beginning of many ear infections. We jumped in my van and headed for the nearest town with a doctor, about 45 miles away. I topped the hill on the highway and saw 2 state troopers in the median, motioning me over. I told the officer we were on the way to a doctor. (son was sleeping for the first time in 24 hours) He said I was clocked at 82 in a 55 from the air. He clocked me at 77 on the ground. He let me off with a warning. :nono:

October 1999, in the hill country of Texas. Leaving my uncle's funeral with my folks in their Buick Roadmaster. I was cruising about 75 when this small town appeared out of no where. Texas state trooper did a U turn and came after me. He saw the Kansas handicapped tag, the way we were dressed and let me off after I told him we were heading home after a funeral.