View Full Version : Butt talk
Donald
09-11-2014, 08:04 PM
Had a colonoscopy today. Doc prescribed MoviPrep as a cleanser. Stuff is expensive! Stopped solid food yesterday morning. Apple juice and Perrier all day. Started the cleanser at 16:00. Drink 1 quart in the first hour. Drink 2nd quart at 19:00 hour. Taste was palatable but it felt syrupy. By bed time output was clear. Definitely get a supply of baby wipes!
Appointment was for 9:30 which was too early for my driver. So I did it with no meds. They put in an IV just in case. Under normal circumstances I am a "hard stick." Being dehydrated made it worse. Usual spot resulted in a collapse. Nurse brought in the PA. He used a smaller needle in my other arm on the inside wrist and got it first stab. The procedure started with me on my back with my legs bent at the knee. I am a hardware guy so I was interested in the gear but did not get to see it. But by feeling I decided what amounts to a lubed butt plug is inserted. The scope attaches to the plug and moves in and out of it. There is a liquid recovery system that captures all the water that is used to clear bile for a better view. What the camera saw was displayed on a monitor I could see. I had no sensation when the probe moved. There were a couple of times when it felt like I had bad gas pain or cramps. When it came to the ascending colon I had to roll on my left side and the nurse pushed on my stomach to help the probe make the turn. Everything was withdrawn with no feeling on my part. There were a couple of small wet farts. I was rolled to recovery and got dressed. I was given the doctors report with 22 pics. Nothing needed clipping or further testing. Just mentioned diverticulosis in the entire colon. But no action needed. All I can think of is Bill and Wendy Whiner from SNL. :-)
From entering patient area back to my car was 80 minutes. Now good for 5 or 10 years depending on who you listen to. Met a friend at 5Guys and had a Bacon Cheeseburger, fries and Coke! Eating immediately is one of the benefits of not using meds! :-)
6 hours later I had a short bout of gas otherwise the whole thing was a big to do about nothing.
Mebot
09-11-2014, 08:11 PM
This is the most amazing post I've ever read on mm.net
Congrats on your clean colon!
guspech750
09-11-2014, 09:28 PM
Great post! About time something other than oil, LCMS and gears.
What a lovely description. I felt as if I was there. LOL. I'm glad you are good to go.
Sent from The White House on taxpayers dimes.
DTR + 4.10's + Eaton swap = Wreeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom
WPG_Merc
09-11-2014, 10:16 PM
Great post! About time something other than oil, LCMS and gears.
What a lovely description. I felt as if I was there. LOL. I'm glad you are good to go.
"Gas" was mentioned in there.
Congrats on you're bill of health :up:
tbone
09-12-2014, 01:28 AM
Great post! About time something other than oil, LCMS and gears.
What a lovely description. I felt as if I was there. LOL. I'm glad you are good to go.
Sent from The White House on taxpayers dimes.
DTR + 4.10's + Eaton swap = Wreeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom
I'm sure your colon is in great shape......:burnout:
J-MAN
09-12-2014, 02:31 AM
Thanks for sharing.
martyo
09-12-2014, 06:12 AM
I felt as if I was there.
Wishful thinking, I am sure.
ChiTownMaraud3r
09-12-2014, 07:31 AM
Talk about some literal butt hurt.
RubberCtyRauder
09-12-2014, 07:52 AM
Did you get any mods done while at it?
martyo
09-12-2014, 08:05 AM
Did you get any mods done while at it?
All this just for a missing set of car keys.
RubberCtyRauder
09-12-2014, 08:24 AM
Oh and one more thing,was it synthetic lube they used, or conventional?
88LTDCV351
09-12-2014, 08:54 AM
Drinking a quart every hour was hard for me. I couldn't handle the taste but its been a number of years since (over 10 years). It definately wasn't a syrupy taste. Maybe they have you drink something different these days.
Spectragod
09-12-2014, 09:05 AM
Did you get any color wallet size photos? Or maybe you could post up some of the more scenic shots?
71cyclone
09-12-2014, 09:07 AM
Good postings and ass you can see the doctors win in the Game of "Butt Gambit"- Stay safe members, after 50 its time for "A OVERHAUL" Old Quote in the MASK movie
fastblackmerc
09-12-2014, 09:25 AM
Now good for 5 or 10 years depending on who you listen to.
So your a perfect a**hole now? :eek:
Glad all is good behind south of the border
RubberCtyRauder
09-12-2014, 09:43 AM
BCM - Bowel Control Mod
Interior LED light Mod, you know, help the next Dr. out
71cyclone
09-12-2014, 10:47 AM
BCM - Bowel Control Mod
Interior LED light Mod, you know, help the next Dr. out
HA HA -I like that .-" Bora Scope" a Brother Out with the BCM for improved Vizibility:beer:
slickster
09-12-2014, 11:15 AM
BCM - Bowel Control Mod
Interior LED light Mod, you know, help the next Dr. out
Also a light weight mod should knock off a few tenths in the quarter
[QUOTE=fastblackmerc;1410214]So your a perfect a**hole now? :eek:
that is funny, but to be a perfect a**hole is no hemorrhoids....... to get a colonoscopy is no fun but the worst part is the preparation as told very accurately.....to be serious, you reach that age when certain tests should be performed......just because you don't show any symptoms doesn't mean nothing is going on....by the time symptoms show up, you are beyond early detection....my first colonoscopy, one precancerous polyp....2 years later, 3 precancerous polyps....I'm due again this month and not looking forward to it....and to scare you guys even more, see a urologist for a prostate check....no fun either and I'll give a hint, make sure he has small fingers :eek: LOL....get a PSA reading (only a blood test).....gives you a baseline figure to work with....prostate cancer can be slow growing....again, early detection is key for treatment.....by the time symptoms show up, you've probably got the big "C"........Since my last exam, I'm prostate cancer free after my proton therapy :)
loud2004marquis
09-12-2014, 11:38 AM
Pffffft....
Donald
09-12-2014, 11:53 AM
No mods. i am perfect just the way I am. :)
Did you get any mods done while at it?
Donald
09-12-2014, 11:56 AM
The prep was done out of sight. Just like my dentist not letting me see the needle coming. :)
Oh and one more thing,was it synthetic lube they used, or conventional?
champ1173
09-12-2014, 12:09 PM
Glad to hear everything came out alright!:laugh: This is something I know I gotta do here soon.
Donald
09-12-2014, 12:16 PM
Just the 22 thumbnails on the printed report. I do have larger printed images from 10 years ago I could scan. :)
Did you get any color wallet size photos? Or maybe you could post up some of the more scenic shots?
CHSurvivor
09-12-2014, 12:21 PM
I have had 4 colonoscopys. They are chitty. I have IBS so its par for course for me,
but having had 4 brain surgeries....its nothing
Glad your good to go....being sick is no fun
Donald
09-12-2014, 12:21 PM
Just got a call from the surgery center making sure I was OK.
bigcowl-imp
09-12-2014, 02:19 PM
HAA you guys are killing me over here.....i needed a good laugh........i just had one done about a month ago but they knocked me out....
1Marauder
09-12-2014, 02:25 PM
Serious left turn down a one way dirt road for the forum... Butt thanks for sharing!
Everyone should have their exhaust system checked!
Google the Dave Barry colonoscopy story. one of the funniest things I've read in a long long time.
RubberCtyRauder
09-12-2014, 02:47 PM
No mods. i am perfect just the way I am. :)
I see, staying naturally aspirated is a good thing sometimes
Bigdogjim
09-12-2014, 03:08 PM
Strange? When I had mine done in January I swear I heard a backhoe??? When I woke up I smelled diesel exhaust :lol:
sailsmen
09-12-2014, 03:10 PM
As a "routine examination" w/out any specific risk factors I would do a lot of research before having one performed.
A member on this board several hours after having one while at home coded and the only reason why he is alive is because his wife knows CPR.
I recently had the occasion to research the risk factor of a treatment vs the illness and I was shocked at the percent of people that elect to undergo the treatment that has a higher risk than the illness.
I am very glad I did the research and declined the treatment for it turns out I don't have the illness. Sometimes technology provides too much information.
I am unaware of any process or program that enables you to judge the risk of the treatment vs the illness. Although the data exist to do it.
If I had a couple of million I would hire a few programmers, actuary, psychologists and a doctor to develop such a program to aid in the decision process.
massacre
09-12-2014, 11:54 PM
The funniest part to me was the recovery room:
A room full of people (including myself) uncontrollably farting LMAO.
martyo
09-13-2014, 05:25 AM
The funniest part to me was the recovery room:
A room full of people (including myself) uncontrollably farting LMAO.
That sounds like a day in our shop.
J-MAN
09-13-2014, 07:00 AM
The funniest part to me was the recovery room:
A room full of people (including myself) uncontrollably farting LMAO.
Just another weekend around the campfire.
mossiehorn
09-13-2014, 04:47 PM
I've had several of those, always a "fun" day. Good feeling to get a clean bill of health.
whitey
09-13-2014, 06:26 PM
Guys, GUYS!.....wtf are ya'll doing?!?!......why is this thread 30+ comments long? This is the biggest bunch of bull crap ive ever seen on a car forum:eek: let a dookie azz be for the love of god!
Jeffonebuck
09-13-2014, 08:21 PM
Just another weekend around the campfire.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPIP9KXdmO0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
MERCULES
09-13-2014, 10:08 PM
That's what I call a "Rear crap delete mod" :banana:
PHHHHTT
09-13-2014, 11:01 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74Qx_5NBDxk
Robin Williams describes it best.......
Ourobos
09-14-2014, 09:15 AM
When you got to the part about the probe moving in and out, I had to click off the topic :D
Donald
09-14-2014, 10:42 AM
It was hard not saying, Oh Baby, Oh Baby, Oh Baby. :)
When you got to the part about the probe moving in and out, I had to click off the topic :D
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