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BigCars4Ever
01-07-2015, 06:36 PM
A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.

RF Overlord
01-07-2015, 06:53 PM
You owe me a new monitor and keyboard...mine are covered in coffee now... :rofl:

myrodr
01-07-2015, 07:03 PM
Thanks for the laughs!!!!!

Pat
01-07-2015, 07:46 PM
Now that right there is funny.

gdsqdcr
01-07-2015, 08:03 PM
That is good

fastblackmerc
01-08-2015, 05:59 AM
Good one!!!!!!!!!

babbage
01-08-2015, 07:01 AM
haha. "Here's your sign"

Not that it's any major loss but are you banned from all Costco's or just the one? :)

massacre
01-08-2015, 09:35 AM
I laughed....................... ......................

whitey
01-08-2015, 02:42 PM
Thats a good one:thumbup:

Bluerauder
01-08-2015, 03:54 PM
LOL Great !!!! :2thumbs:

Spectragod
01-08-2015, 07:29 PM
A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.

Knew where that was going, the original was " I got hit by a car when I was licking my balls"...

The nuggets actually are not that bad, nor are dog bones biscuits, I have snacked on them with my dog before, kinda has a dry taste to them though..... seriously.