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Thread: Your computer skills.....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
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    Hinesville, Georgia.
    Age
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    1,372

    Talking Your computer skills.....

    This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
    If you skip any, you have to read the last one!
    Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!




    ============================== ===

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

    Female customer: A white one...
    ===============



    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....


    ===============


    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?


    ===============


    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


    ===============


    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


    ============== =


    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


    ===============


    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.


    ===============


    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer: OK !
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


    ===============


    Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?


    == =============


    Customer: can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.


    ===============


    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


    ===============


    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


    ===============


    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


    ===============


    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."


    ===============


    And last but not least.......

    Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
    Carlos
    '03 Marauder 300A
    • Built 8-23-02
    • TRADED IN

  2. #2
    Mad4Macs Guest
    If you go here (with my log in);

    http://www.csd.toshiba.com/cgi-bin/t..._sc_domLog.jsp

    Here (with my log in);
    http://warrantypartsdirect.dell.com/...gram/index.asp

    Here (with my log in)
    https://h20198.www2.hp.com/us/

    Or Sony... or IBM (now Lenovo) or Gateway or eMachine and a few others...
    you might, eventually, wonder why I only own Apple Macs

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    I believe it.

    Supporting 210 people; it is never a dull moment.

    Mike.

  4. #4
    Mad4Macs Guest

    Talking

    That's what amazes me the most....
    People whine that a Mac costs (on average) $50-$100 more than a low end PC... yet in Michigan, we have THREE TECHS supporting EIGHT THOUSAND MACS.
    In Texas???
    ONE TECH IN HOUSTON
    ONE TECH IN SAN ANTONIO
    ONE TECH IN AUSTIN and
    ONE TECH IN BRYAN/COLLEGE STATION.
    We also support PC clones in these markets... and it takes 3 to 5 TIMES the same support staff.
    Care to guess whether a Dell costs less than an Apple now?
    Not at our salaries
    Me, I quit caring years ago. Those who certify BOTH platforms go Mac. Those that only know Windows... choose Windows. And make my company rich.

  5. #5
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    Now thats really funny! Especially the last one. Thanks for the laugh.


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  6. #6
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    I just had someone last week come to me and asked why the wireless wasn't working.

    I asked her if she has wireless at home or has the security settings set on the laptop.

    She asked "What's that? My boss said you can use it anywhere. Just turn it on and it will connect."

    He supposed to use the laptop every once in awhile but it needed about 50 Windows patches.
    2001 Grand Marquis w/HPP
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  7. #7
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    Tech support people all know that the "L" in user is silent.
    Dan

    Rest area, rest home -- what difference does it make? I'm sure Grandma enjoyed seeing all those big trucks pulling in and out.

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    (The other West Coast) Wyoming Michigan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mad4Macs View Post
    If you go here (with my log in);

    http://www.csd.toshiba.com/cgi-bin/t..._sc_domLog.jsp

    Here (with my log in);
    http://warrantypartsdirect.dell.com/...gram/index.asp

    Here (with my log in)
    https://h20198.www2.hp.com/us/

    Or Sony... or IBM (now Lenovo) or Gateway or eMachine and a few others...
    you might, eventually, wonder why I only own Apple Macs
    I tried to log in with your log in "Mad4Macs" and got this message:

    Login was not successful. Please try again.

    So, I need your password to log in!
    1957 Custom 2 dr Sedan, 1979 F-series 14' U-Haul 330 XD, 1979 F150 4X4 428 PI/CJ heads/NP 435/4:11 axles-rear Det. Lkr., 1993 Grand Marquis, Y2K CVPI supercharged 5.4, 2003 MM

    The more I learn, the more I find out I don't know.

    Confusion will be my epitaph...

    Home of the Berserker Marauder, one of the ancient Norse warriors legendary for working themselves into a frenzy before a battle and fighting with reckless savagery and insane fury, held to be invulnerable...shirtless regardless of wounds...(possibly due to ingestion of psychotropic and hallucinatory drugs such as Fly Agaric Mushrooms)...

    ΓρεεκΓοδ

  9. #9
    Mad4Macs Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by GreekGod View Post
    I tried to log in with your log in "Mad4Macs" and got this message:

    Login was not successful. Please try again.

    So, I need your password to log in!
    Hell, even I rely on Mac OS X's Keychain to remember all that crap

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mad4Macs View Post
    Hell, even I rely on Mac OS X's Keychain to remember all that crap
    Well, I wish I knew how to use "keychain" on my Mac! I never heard of it. Must be an auto-fill?
    1957 Custom 2 dr Sedan, 1979 F-series 14' U-Haul 330 XD, 1979 F150 4X4 428 PI/CJ heads/NP 435/4:11 axles-rear Det. Lkr., 1993 Grand Marquis, Y2K CVPI supercharged 5.4, 2003 MM

    The more I learn, the more I find out I don't know.

    Confusion will be my epitaph...

    Home of the Berserker Marauder, one of the ancient Norse warriors legendary for working themselves into a frenzy before a battle and fighting with reckless savagery and insane fury, held to be invulnerable...shirtless regardless of wounds...(possibly due to ingestion of psychotropic and hallucinatory drugs such as Fly Agaric Mushrooms)...

    ΓρεεκΓοδ

  11. #11
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    never mind. better to leave it alone.
    2003 300A Black Mercury Marauder 4334 of 7839
    Trilogy #150 installed by Carfixer & Tallboy 4/21/2007
    (brute's garage)


  12. #12
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    I told a problem user their machine had the "ID-Ten-T" error, and needed their machine for a few hours to fix it.



    Mike.

  13. #13
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by MM2004 View Post
    I told a problem user their machine had the "ID-Ten-T" error, and needed their machine for a few hours to fix it.



    Mike.

    DOH!!!

    Stupid users keep me employeed

    Think about it.

    KillJoy
    Last edited by KillJoy; 04-17-2007 at 06:39 AM.

  14. #14
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by MM2004 View Post
    I told a problem user their machine had the "ID-Ten-T" error, and needed their machine for a few hours to fix it.



    Mike.
    Is that anything like a keyboard-chair interface error?

    I've got about 200, as well. I have a few who I have to remote periodiaclly so that I can spell/type their own name for them.
    Magindat: (majin-dat) Imagine That.
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    #1649
    boi

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by dwasson View Post
    Tech support people all know that the "L" in user is silent.
    That's the best one ever!!!!
    Magindat: (majin-dat) Imagine That.
    2013 Ford Taurus SHO

    Lemonade - living with Fruit Punch - in Blackmobile's Garage...
    FIT Procharger Kit #31 - 3.7 pulley - 9 PSI
    World's first BLOW THRU ProCharged Marauder - Reinhart Tuned

    #1649
    boi

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